Annie Adams: A Historical Fiction Novella

Home Page Forums Fiction Writing Critiques Short Story Critiques Annie Adams: A Historical Fiction Novella

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 39 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #125847
    Orielle2023
    @orielle21
      • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
      • Total Posts: 173

      @freedomwriter76 @godlyfantasy12 @starofthenorth @keilah-h @esther-c @lightoverdarkness6 @felicity @whalekeeper @theloonyone @loopylin @wilder-w @mineralizedwritings @koshka @elishavet-pidyon @ava-blue @folith-feolin @power @sarafini @madelyn @arien @booksandbeakers @lewilliams

      Here is a little something for anyone who likes historical fiction stories with lots of family life and a bit of romance tucked in. I’m just tagging a bunch of people but if you’re not interested just ignore it. 😉

      I’m posting this in parts. (It is 18 pages long using #10 font on OpenOffice Writer.) Feel free to share your opinions or critiques but I mostly just want you to enjoy the story. 🙂 🙂

      Annie Adams (title needs work)

      “Winter’s a comin’,” Pa declared, as he, Ned, Nathan, and Noah burst in the door one fall day. “Seems to me that we’d better get that wood pile chopped and stacked.”

      “I’ll help! I can handle an ax just about as well as…” I was cut off.

      “Slow down, Annie,” Pa’s eyes twinkled. Ma frowned at the notion of her youngest daughter boasting in how well she could swing an ax. I already knew too well that in her mind, pioneer women were to keep house, sew, and cook. Of course, I could do all of those things equally as well as I could chop wood, groom Pa’s beautiful horses, and drive to town in the buggy. “Come along, then,” Pa responded.

      “Dress warmly, dear,” Ma added graciously, “and be back in time for dinner preparations.”

      I donned my scarf, hood, and shawl and followed Pa’s and Ned’s tall, broad forms as they lead the way to the wood pile. Nathan followed too, although quite reluctantly, and soon we were all surveying the huge jumble of short logs. Noah, the late comer, forcefully slammed the door and came beside me. Just before I left the house, I had noticed him warming his hands by the fire. No time for idling now. We got right to work, chips flying everywhere. I was so engrossed in attacking my log that I was startled by a voice. It didn’t help either that we hadn’t seen another human being in six months.

      “Well, look at the help you’ve got!” The voice came from the direction of the clearing. The chips stopped flying as Pa, the boys, and I turned to study the new comer.

      “Welcome to Pioneer land!” Pa boomed as we noticed a wagon and a family. He hurried to our cabin door and flung it open. “Maria,” he called to Ma, “Come greet our guests!” Soon the whole family had reached the newcomers.

      “Welcome!” came Ma’s cheery voice. “It’s been so long since I’ve had the company of other womenfolk. It is good to meet you!” she addressed the lady, who replaced her worried brow with a smile.

      “Grant’s the name,” informed the man of the family. “My wife Bertha, was afeared we’d never come across any soul in these parts. I’ve purchased some land a mile or two from here. It’s encouraging to know that we’ve got good neighbors.” A grin appeared on Mr. Grant’s bearded face as he said, “Last thing I’d have imagined, though, was a purty looking girl chopping wood right along with the men! ‘Course, at first I thought t’was a scrap of calico from somewheres, but it soon turned out to be a lady making away with a log just as well as, well, anyone!”

      At this, I felt my face flush pink. Nathan winked, Nellie threw me a “I told you so” look, and one of the newcomer’s sons stuck his tongue out. To my surprise and relief, Ma replied, “Yes, and she’s mighty handy in the kitchen too. Couldn’t have asked for a better helper.” Now it was Nellie’s turn to drop her eyes. Pa put a hand on my shoulder and said, “Well, folks, let’s have some discourse. Starting with introductions!” He laughed, and the rest joined. I was glad to have the attention off me for once, but I couldn’t help feeling a little proud. Especially since the Grant girls had smiled in kindness and one of the older sons had nodded in agreement.

      Mr. Grant helped his wife and daughters out of their wagon but of course the boys hopped out without any assistance. Adam, introducing himself as the oldest at twenty, shook Pa’s hand and took off his hat to us ladies. He was a handsome looking young man with thick, curly brown hair. Jonath, two years younger, politely told us his name with a genuine bow. Taller then Adam, he had straight hair that was slightly red. Seventeen year old Betsey curtsied and gave my sisters and I a nice, friendly smile. I found a hint of appreciation hidden their too. She was a slim girl and very pretty. Grace, hair flying free from under her bonnet, turned out to be my exact age and also curtsied courteously for us. Samuel, at twelve, mischievously copied his brothers with an extra flourish. Lastly, Abe, the nine year old who had stuck out his tongue at me, gave a slight bow, and said, “How do you do?” in what seemed to me as mock politeness.

      Now it was our turn. Ned stood up to his full height and bowed, taking off his hat. He was very respectful and courteous. “Pleased to meet you all,” he said. Amanda blushed slightly, but curtsied in a becoming manner as she gave her name. She was the sweetest sister I ever had. Nellie, completely accustomed to making the best impression of herself as she could, had no problem. She had a bossy spirit. Then, it was my turn. “Hello, I’m Annie,” I managed, and I curtsied with relish. Nathan and Noah bowed, winking at Samuel and Abe.

      “Well done!” roared both of our Pas at the same time and the Mas laughed.

      Introductions over, Ma invited everyone for a meal. “We can share stories then,” Pa decided. “It’ll feel better when we have a bounty before us.”

      I followed the women and girls to the house. Before entering, I looked longingly out at the wood pile. Suddenly, Jonath was behind me. “Don’t mind my brother Abe. He’s can be a fool sometimes. I’ll take your place while you’re stuck inside. I know all about chopping wood.” He winked.

      “Thank you,” I said shyly and hurried inside.

      “What took you so long?” Nellie asked aloud. “Hurry. Ma needs you to stir the pudding. Wash up first. Wood is really dirty.”

      I bit my tongue and obeyed. One thing I had learned with Nellie is that what she says goes, even when company came. When I re-entered the kitchen, everyone was busy. Quickly, I tied on my apron and stirred the pudding, making sure to scrap the bottom all the while. I had never burned pudding in my entire life and I wasn’t about to do it now. The heat curled up, melting my face and scorching my hands. All the while, I was thinking about how much I’d rather be out chopping wood with Pa.

      Around the table both of our families soon sat. Mr. Grant, Adam, and Jonath raved over the food.

      “Indeed,” Pa said smiling, “my wife and daughters are the best cooks around.”

      “I think we may have met a few hard working ladies to contend with finally,” Ma laughed and gave Mrs. Grant and her girls a playful smile. I glanced at Grace and Betsey and smiled too.

      After the blessing, each plate was heaped with potatoes, gravy, vegetables, fresh bread and butter, and roasted pork. Coffee steamed from the men’s cups. Even Noah and Abe were allowed to drink coffee. Reproachfully, I found myself wishing that I hadn’t poured Abe a cup, but dismissed that thought when he gave me a smirk over the lip of his coffee mug. I couldn’t help smiling back.

      “Well, out with the good stories, Mr. Adams,” Mr. Grant said finally. He was handing in his plate for thirds. “I’m eager to see how you all made out.”

      Pa wiped his mustache and stroked his beard. “You’ve heard enough from me already. I think I’ll let one of the children tell their experience.”

      No one jumped up at first. Ned looked at me and nodded. “You’d do a good job,” he mouthed. I stared. ME? Nellie’s face had turned scarlet and I doubted Amanda was even at the table. Nathan was staring at his plate and Noah had suddenly began to eat his pile of food.

      “Pa, where shall I start?” I asked with resolve, getting up from my chair. Every second I feared that my mind would rebel, so I strove to get the ordeal over with as fast as possible.

      “Where ever you want to, dear,” he replied. Ma gave me her best of smiles and I took a deep breath.

      “The whole story began on Pa’s….well, I’ll just say birthday. He said that he wanted something really special. We tried to guess but no one could figure out just what he wanted. I asked if it was an animal, vegetable, or mineral. Pa said the closest was mineral. That really threw us off.” I laughed. Pa winked at me. “Finally, Pa told us that he wanted land. At first we didn’t understand. Ma laughed at our surprise, since she had known all along. Pa pulled a map out of his pocket and showed us the land that he planned to purchase. It took two seconds for me to decide that I wanted to strike out. Nobody knew what it was going to be like and of course, there was some uncertainty. I, for one, had never gone more than a couple miles from home. Everything we could want was at our finger tips there in that little town. But Pa decided that land and space was what we needed. So we set off. We left in the spring a year and a half ago. Along the way we met with wolves, bears, and other wild animals of the woods. That’s where I practiced my sharpshooting skills,” I added with glee, to the amusement of my audience, well, except Nellie. “We struggled through rain. Oh, it rained so much.” I stopped as I remembered the horror of it. “But thankfully we got through that trial, thanks to Ned’s fires. He can get a fire going without so much as striking a rock.” Ned smiled at this compliment, and I knew that I hadn’t exaggerated. “All through that journey we ate venison. Ma made her delicious biscuits and we always had fresh water from the lovely little creeks. Once an Indian man came and guided us around a dangerous crevasse. Being in that wagon was mostly boring, seeing that those inside were deprived of adequate sight abilities. Also, the ride was quite jolting. Not to complain, however,” I added quickly, “On nice days, Pa rolled back that canvass and we were bathed in western sunshine. Finally, one sunny day we arrived at this clearing just as you all did this forenoon. There was nothing here except the grass, the sky, the trees, and the river then, but it was serenely beautiful and so peaceful. During the next several months we chopped, built, plowed, and settled. It was and still is the best time of my life. We had a garden in by the last week of May and life was finally starting to settle down.” I paused. Should I say more? “It’s really been a blessing here and we have all learned so much. Best wishes to you on your endeavor.” I finished with a curtsy and returned to my seat.

      “A capitol speech!” Mr. Grant exclaimed, while Jonath began a round of applause.

      “We’d love to hear the story of your journey, Mr. Grant!” came Ned’s voice after the noise had died down. Nathan and Noah suddenly brightened. Seating myself beside Ned, I waited for Mr. Grant to begin. Instead, he motioned to Jonath to tell. Not surprised in the least, Jonath stood up and bowed to the crowd. By now, Amanda had returned and Nellie was looking relieved.

      “Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to stand before you today and share what my family and I have gone through on our journey.” We all laughed because what had seemed like just a story telling time had turned into an event, which called for the addressing of ladies and gentlemen. Jonath turned out to be a master story teller, enlarging the simple, insignificant details in order to make their unique story luxurious. We also gave him a hearty round of applause.

      Our guests left before the sun went down. Ma kindly offered them our beds, but Mrs. Grant insisted that they had imposed on us too much already. Ma’s eyes took on their determined look when she replied. “Now, Bertha, do not think that you have imposed on us in any way. We are delighted at the prospect of having new neighbors. Come any time. The children need companion and I guess I need womenfolk, too!” I didn’t miss the satisfaction in Mrs. Grant’s face as she assured Ma that they would try to visit soon.

      Grace came up to my side as I stood on the porch. “It’s been good to get to know you, Annie,” she smiled.

      “Yes, indeed,” I replied. “It has been so long since we have seen anyone. I am very glad to know that you will be living close by.”

      Betsey joined us, Nellie at her side. “Oh, yes,” she was saying, “It’ll be nice to have girls close by. Sometime we should have tea together. Or do some sewing.”

      “Of course, dear Betsey,” Nellie replied. “But, I doubt Annie will agree. She’ll be too busy in the fields with Pa when the spring time comes.”

      I smiled slightly, to Nellie’s disappointment. “If you plan something, I shall be there.”

      “Girls, get in the wagon!” It was Jonath calling. “Hurry or you’ll have to walk!” Grace and Betsey descended the porch. Soon the Grant family had all boarded and were ready to head to their land. “Send a message soon!” Ma called out.

      “We certainly will!” Mrs. Grant waved.

      Betsey and Grace waved as well. Noah and Nathan were behind the wagon taking the last available moments to talk with their new friends. Amanda and Ned stood on the porch with Nellie and I while Pa and Ma stood in the doorway.

      “Keep chopping wood, Annie!” Jonath called from the back of the wagon. Pa looked at me and smiled, so I smiled and waved in return. “I will!” I promised.

      We watched the creamy white of the wagon canvass until it disappeared. “Time for chores again, boys and Annie.” Pa said.

      I raced Nathan to the barn, but Ned beat us both. He threw open the door as Nathan and I came crashing in. “Whoa there, Annie,” He said and caught me before I landed in the hay pile.

      “Now Ned,” I scolded.

      Before milking the cow, I moseyed over to the horse stalls and stroked Pa’s most handsome horse, Thunderbolt. He put down his head submissively, accustomed to this nightly routine.

      Milking went smoothly. The sun was escaping swiftly as Pa shut the barn door and we made our way back to the house. This time Nathan beat me. I wasn’t going to race with a milk pail.

      “Wise one, she is,” Pa said with a grin.

      ——————————————-

      To Be Continued!!

      Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo

      #125860
      MineralizedWritings
      @mineralizedwritings
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 3027

        @oreille21

        WOW! I thoroughly enjoyed that! Such a great read!

        Also, one of the boys has thick brown curls?! 😍😍 That’s just like my OC Tauren!

        I’d love to read more!

        "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

        #125878
        MineralizedWritings
        @mineralizedwritings
          • Rank: Chosen One
          • Total Posts: 3027

          @orielle21

          Oops tagged you wrong ^^

          "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

          #125936
          Orielle2023
          @orielle21
            • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
            • Total Posts: 173

            @mineralizedwritings

            I’d love to read more!

            And I can’t wait to post more!!!

             

            Also, one of the boys has thick brown curls?! 😍😍 That’s just like my OC Tauren!

            I’m going to go find a pic of your Tauren. I don’t think I’ve seen him before. @felicity is going to help me. 😉

            Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo

            #125941
            MineralizedWritings
            @mineralizedwritings
              • Rank: Chosen One
              • Total Posts: 3027

              @orielle21

              Lol your sister should know where to find him 😂I draw him…. like wayyyy to much. He’s all over KP XD

              "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

              #125943
              MineralizedWritings
              @mineralizedwritings
                • Rank: Chosen One
                • Total Posts: 3027

                @orielle21

                Lol I just remembered he’s my profile cover photo thingy too

                "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

                #125944
                Orielle2023
                @orielle21
                  • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                  • Total Posts: 173

                  @mineralizedwritings

                  Lol your sister should know where to find him 😂I draw him…. like wayyyy to much. He’s all over KP XD

                  Literally laughing out loud. 🤣

                  Lol I just remembered he’s my profile cover photo thingy too

                  👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

                  Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo

                  #125950
                  Felicity
                  @felicity
                    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                    • Total Posts: 812

                    @mineralizedwritings

                    I really like all your Tauren pics!! Keep drawing as many as you want! 😀

                    He must increase, but I must decrease.

                    #125957
                    MineralizedWritings
                    @mineralizedwritings
                      • Rank: Chosen One
                      • Total Posts: 3027

                      @felicity

                      Thanks! Lol, I get concerned people will notice at some point I draw him sooo much XD. I guess I’ll just say “He’s the MC?” If anyone questions it

                      "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

                      #126065
                      Felicity
                      @felicity
                        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                        • Total Posts: 812

                        @mineralizedwritings

                        Exactly, right? No kidding!! 😀

                        He must increase, but I must decrease.

                        #126108
                        Anonymous
                          • Rank: Wise Jester
                          • Total Posts: 76

                          Great read!! I only had time to scan it closely. I would say maybe break up the story Annie tells into smaller paragraphs. And possibly note exactly where the visitors are from.

                          And maybe construct Nellie a little more. As in, what is the motive for her bossiness? Will it cause strife later? Does she have a nice side?

                          Hopefully this is constructive!! I really like this!!

                          #126144
                          Erica
                          @starofthenorth
                            • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                            • Total Posts: 199

                            @orielle21

                            Nice story! I love the Little House feel.

                            I guess one thing I would say: when the Grants arrive, it seems like Pa automatically assumes they’re new to pioneer land. Maybe you could say he sees that their wagon is full of furniture and other belongings, or say something else so it’s obvious they’re new? Do what you want though!

                            I’m excited to see what happens next! Great job! 😊

                            Dark is the Shadow, and yet my heart rejoices.

                            #126496
                            Orielle2023
                            @orielle21
                              • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                              • Total Posts: 173

                              @freedomwriter76 @godlyfantasy12 @starofthenorth @keilah-h @esther-c @lightoverdarkness6 @felicity @whalekeeper @theloonyone @loopylin @wilder-w @mineralizedwritings @koshka @elishavet-pidyon @ava-blue @folith-feolin @power @sarafini @madelyn @arien @booksandbeakers @lewilliams

                              Next Post…..Part Two of the Annie Adams story. Enjoy. Or ignore. Whatever suits your fancy. 🙂 😉

                              Another long week past. Sunday came and in the quiet of the evening, we gathered around in the sitting room while Pa read from the scriptures. Then we shared special moments together, recalling previous Sundays. All too soon it was time to head for bed. Ma continued to rock and sew and Pa stared into the blazing hearth, meditating on the Holy Words he had just read.

                              Monday past swiftly, making up for the long week. In the evening, Ned and I crept outside to watch for owls. After an hour or so, we sat by the fire to warm up. The fire turned to red coals and Ned and I went to our rooms. I picked up a book and commenced reading. It was late when I finally crept into bed. Nellie and Amanda were already asleep by the time the candlelight went out. I loved reading and only when our little clock struck twelve did I suffocate the light and fall asleep. Ma scolded me for this routine since I burned down way too many candles. But when time only allowed me to read at night, it was hard to put down something as exciting as The Tale of Two Cities. I slept very well.

                              Suddenly through my dreams I heard a soft whispering.

                              “Here’s our sleeping-in-sister,” whispered a voice. I rolled over and shot out of bed.

                              “Well! That got her up!” said Nellie with a laugh. “How late did you stay up anyhow?”

                              “Only until midnight,” I answered nonchalantly expecting a torrent of reprovals. Quickly, I did up my hair and slipped into my dress.

                              Nellie smiled and for once she didn’t scold me. I fluffed the pillows and pulled the patched quilt up over them.

                              “Thank you, Annie,” she smiled again before leaving the room. “I appreciate not having to do the bed in the mornings.”

                              I stood in complete shock. “Nellie, what happened to you?”

                              “I’m finished being cross and bossy. It’ll be a joy to see you smile more. I think I’m hindering that,” she said simply and left.

                              My heart was nearly bursting with happiness. I tied back the curtains and looked towards the direction of the sunrise. And I smiled. It was going to be a good day. ‘But why stand here when I can be out in the direct sunshine?’ I scolded myself.

                              I greeted Ma with a “good morning” as I passed.

                              “Pa and the boys are already at the barn so hurry!” she informed me.

                              The morning sun felt so good on my face. Nearly flying of the porch, I headed for the barn. The door was ajar and I heard Ned’s incredulous laugh, followed by Pa’s contagious one. Nathan added his own guffaw. Then I glanced up and saw them watching me from the hay loft. Noah looked at me with eyes in their mischievous best.

                              “Didn’t think anybody was watching, eh?” said Ned, smirking.

                              “Well, who else would be besides you?” I said and entered the barn. It was bright and smelt of fresh hay. The cow was calling in low tones and I sidled up to the patient beast.

                              “Alright, Jane, we’ve got things settled now. I can’t wait until you have that calf in the spring. Pa’s pledged to give it to me. I hope you don’t mind.” She nearly sent the milk pail sprawling. “Now, what’s so horrible about that?” I cooed. “Your precious calf will be in good hands, I promise.” She calmed down.

                              “Amazing how you can talk to animals,” Nathan said in awe as he seemed to suddenly appear beside me. “That Thunderbolt, he’ll send me straight the moon with one of his kicks. Yet he treats you like a fluff of cotton that could be damaged with his mere breath. And Jane here, she seems to understand what you say. I don’t get it.” His eyebrows were furrowed.

                              “Honestly, I can’t explain it either, Nathan. When you treat animals with respect, they learn to respect you too,” I began. “Thunderbolt is another story, though. Why he takes to me, I don’t think that even the smartest horseman could figure that out.”

                              Nathan laughed and turned back to his work. Jane stood quietly while I finished my duties. Getting up from the stool, I brushed hay from my apron and quickly retrieved the pail in case one of Jane’s four hooves had any left over resentment to bestow. Placing the stool in its allotted place, I walked over to Nathan.

                              “Keep trying with Thunderbolt,” I encouraged. “Someday you’ll be riding around here. I know you will. Good things take time.”

                              “Thank you, Annie,” he smiled. “I knew I could find encouragement to stay resolved in you.”

                              Mulling over his words, I walked towards our little home spun cabin. Someone had opened the last of the windows and the blue and white curtains flapped in the delightful breezes.

                              ‘I love Nathan’s way of thinking.’ I thought. ‘ He loves using big, sophisticated words like me. I wonder if we are built of the same brains.’ I resolved to save every penny I got to get him and myself a dictionary. Forgetting to watch my step, I nearly sent the pail flying.

                              “Did you think it could climb the stairs by itself or….oh, I mean, it’s mighty good to see that milk, Annie.” It was Nellie. She quickly put on a smile. “Ma and Amanda made piles of hotcakes and I’m going to pour the glasses of milk. If you give me that pail, I can finish up the job.”

                              “That’d be a nice surprise, Nellie!” I exclaimed. I gave her the milk. She disappeared inside. Turning, I bumped into Ned. “Have you noticed our Nellie, how she’s changed? She is so sweet.”

                              Slowly, joy spread across his face. “Sure did. Pa and Ma had a good talk with her while you and I were out watching for owls last night.”

                              “Did they really?” I said in amazement.

                              “It was really her that initiated it. She told me this morning before I went to be barn that she was done being a rotten old maid!”

                              I nearly died of laughter. Nellie herself came out then and asked what on earth I was laughing about. I explained that I was trying to imagine her being a rotten old maid. She laughed almost as hard as I had and Ned smiled broadly. Together we went into the house and washed for breakfast. Pa and Nathan followed a few minutes later. Noah, only a few paces behind, entered with a pleasant look on his face. To my delight, Nathan told me that he had petted Thunderbolt.

                              “Annie,” he said without the slightest hint of a smile, “I think that horse heard our little conversation this morning.” Seeing my amusement, he protested, “Why else would he have performed so agreeably?”

                              After a hearty breakfast, Pa scooted back his chair and we discussed the prospect of this land becoming thickly settled. With our thoughts and opinions were all spoken, the talk turned to more pressing issues.

                              “Pa, what are we going to do today?” Even as the words were still on Noah’s tongue, I noticed that his face seemed to dread the answer.

                              “More trees There’s lots of trees to cut down before next spring. I want to get a good crop of wheat in and we need cleared land for that. So whoever has a good ax, come with me after breakfast.” His eyes traveled around the table and landed on me. “What are you planning for today, Maria?” he asked Ma.

                              “We’ll do washing today. Nellie also mentioned a house cleaning.” Ma smiled. Housework was her favorite past time. It was hard for me to understand.

                              “We can spare Annie today,” a sweet voice announced. I turned to see Nellie beginning to clear the table. “She’s good at the ax and will help you boys get in here for dinner sooner. We’re going to have a good one waiting, mind you.”

                              I shouldered my ax and set off with the boys towards a large patch of trees. Pa came behind us at a slower pace. “Soon we’ll have these towering trees lined up and waiting to be turned into firewood,” Noah exclaimed, looking up into the green overgrowth.

                              “Ned! Don’t you want to save some of the logs to build a cabin or something? We could sleep in it sometimes or do projects that we don’t want Annie to know about,” Nathan finished with a grin. I looked at him in disdain.

                              “Time’s wasting,” Pa declared as he came upon us. “The sun drops later and later now-a-days. Let’s get swinging.” Nathan’s idea was put aside for the present as we concentrated our efforts, attacking the mammoth trees. It was treacherous work and we had to be quick when the giants began to fall. Dinner time arrived without warning and Nellie appeared with the message.

                              “Oh, it is so delightful out here in the good air. You all are making progress. Now come in before the food gets cold.”

                              Dinner had never tasted so good. Nellie grinned as I bit into her biscuits.

                              “They are inexplicably delicious,” I said truthfully, for they were. We ate generously, but not as much as we had the previous day. For me, I didn’t feel it was practical to stuff myself on such a busy day. Over eating gave place to sluggishness and tiredness which I definitely didn’t need to get in my way today.

                              “Ready boys and Annie?” Pa was saying. That’s how it had always been….boys and Annie. Boys and Annie for chores, boys and Annie for chopping wood, boys and Annie for planting and harvesting, boys and Annie for….I felt quite proud to be named among my brothers.

                              Again we headed out that oak door that Pa had hand-carved and journeyed to the new field. Chopping axes shattered the stillness that always lingered in the unsettled country. As I worked, I let my mind wonder back to the time to when we had lived in Greensburgh, that bustling little country town. There was a blacksmith, a general store, a cute little school house, a church, and a nice pond to ice skate on. I recalled the times I had skated the evenings away with my friend Martha Jane Fischer and her sister Lydia. I wondered where they were now; whether they had stayed in that settlement or had taken to the wagon as we had. Martha Jane was the sweetest girl I had known, besides Amanda. We always had walked home from school together. As I thought about school, I wished so badly that we could have a school out here with a pleasant teacher and students to fill the benches.

                              ‘Someday,’ I thought, ‘ this place will fill with people too. But it seems so long in coming.’ Back in Greensburgh there were visits to be made, parties to attend, and meetings to commence. Here there was, well, one main thing to party over. And that was chopping trees, I thought a little ruefully. Of course, it wasn’t the trees I minded, for being out in the sunshine with my Pa and brothers behind the ax was a favorite past time. However, it was the fact that we didn’t share life with others outside of our family. For the first time in my life I realized that I did miss society. With a heavy heart, I added more strength to my blows.

                              That’s when I heard a loud “HAAALOOO!” coming from behind us. Wait! I had almost forgotten! There were folks to share life with now. The Grants! How could I have felt so melancholy when neighbors were only a mile away?

                              Pa straightened and looked to see who was calling out to us. Two men on horse back approached. One was Adam Grant. The other was Jonath.

                              Ned’s face lit up at the prospect of talking with the Grant boys. Nathan and Noah looked a little disappointed when they noticed that Samuel and Abe weren’t along.

                              “Looks like you fellas are mighty busy!” came Adam’s jolly voice.

                              “Ain’t just fellows!” I spoke up naughtily from my post and everyone laughed.

                              To my amusement, Adam guffawed as Jonath playfully poked him in the ribs. Finally, he gave the message. “We’ve got a good looking cabin up and Pa and Ma would like to have you all for supper tomorrow evening.”

                              “Did you boys hail the house?” questioned Pa.

                              “Yes, sir. Your wife said she would be glad to come, but she sent us out here to speak with you,” Jonath informed.

                              “Well, by all means, expect us to be there then!” Pa exclaimed.

                              Ned walked over and began a conversation with Adam. Nathan and Noah were talking to Jonath about his horse. Pa came over to me.

                              “Just let them talk for a bit,” he said. “It’s been a while.”

                              I nodded. “I was just thinking the same thing. I had almost forgotten about our new neighbors.” Secretly, I was glad for the rest, since the ax wore a girl out.

                              After goodbyes were exchanged, Adam and Jonath headed homeward and we got back to work. I was dreaming of the time we’d have at the neighbor’s house and I didn’t notice the darkness starting to slowly creep in.

                              “Annie, we’d better head back,” Ned broke into my thoughts. “Pa said it’s getting dark.”

                              I shouldered my ax once more and stumbled home. Amanda opened the door when we were within hearing distance.

                              “Thought you would be coming right about now!” she said. “Sun going down and it doesn’t wait!”

                               

                              To be continued!!!

                              Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo

                              #126504
                              Orielle2023
                              @orielle21
                                • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                                • Total Posts: 173

                                @starofthenorth

                                Thanks for the response! Yes, I agree with you that Pa does seem to just assume the Grants are new pioneers….appreciate you pointing that out.

                                Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo

                                #126508
                                Orielle2023
                                @orielle21
                                  • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                                  • Total Posts: 173

                                  @booksandbeakers

                                  I would say maybe break up the story Annie tells into smaller paragraphs. And possibly note exactly where the visitors are from.

                                  Good points.

                                  And maybe construct Nellie a little more. As in, what is the motive for her bossiness? Will it cause strife later? Does she have a nice side?

                                  After reading my story over again, I did think about Nellie and why I made her so ornery. Things change as you will see but I really should made that a little more clear. 🙂

                                  Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo

                                Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 39 total)
                                • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
                                >