- This topic has 9 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 8 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
This is a sort of dark story that I wrote a while back. Tell me what you think of it.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QlTLW2NAbpxlXT1gNKu6VyHx2NQx-_DshoncBAKmXYg/edit?usp=sharing
I blog on story and spiritual things at mkami.weebly.com
I love it! The personalities are vivid and it was at once dramatic and not at all cheesy. While the last line was a good way to end it, it was kind of confusing. How does a guy get impaled, verified dead and displayed at a viewing, and then turn up alive?
🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢
Well written, definitely. I agree that it’s dark. Mostly the details John was going into, but I suppose it might have been necessary to show how he’s changed and all. That little bit at the end was my favorite part, though it loosed a cage of plot bunnies in my imagination. 😛
Good job on writing it! I’d just say don’t…. really read this to anyone under 13, just because of the details gone into. 😉Okay, I’ll look at this in the morning. I’m posting here so I don’t forget. 🙂
It’s certainly very gripping. I’ve never really read much dark fiction simply because I haven’t ever found any near to hand. Other than Sherlock Holmes, which—forgive me— I don’t like. This story gave me a very intense feeling like something constricting around my heart— an icy fist, if you will permit me to use a stereotyped expression. 😛
But I was wondering about what Daeus asked. What is this, a speculative setting where a dead body can be brought back to life due to technology? Or was John supposed to be a ghost?Thanks for your comments. The idea behind this was something much darker. That one forum about vampires and zombies kind of made me think of this story I’d written.
You could think of him as a vampire now or something, but not an actual bloodsucker/scared of holy water kind of vampire. Just like an undead dude with superpowers kind of thing.
As I said the idea was much darker but that’s the basic essence. Also . . . I wrote this as an idea for a novel but the concept never actually became something I could (or would) work with. Maybe someday I’ll run with it. For now I’ll keep on making people “loose a cage of plot bunnies” and make them get mad at me whenever they read it.
PS Love cages of plot bunnies 🙂 Don’t you?
I blog on story and spiritual things at mkami.weebly.com
Hmm… interesting.
Oh, no. I’m not mad about plot bunnies. I like them, though sometimes I’m too busy to pay attention to them. Plot bunnies are nice, in the right circumstances. XDTrue. 😀
That’s a really interesting context, Mark. It doesn’t feel icky as I had imagined anything having to do with an ‘undead’ personality would have. Maybe it’s because you didn’t do it simply for a cheap horror effect. I like it.Cool. 🙂 The undead thing was actually a spur of the moment thing. It was (#1) the personality of the brother and (#2) the conflict of meeting someone you once knew but is completely changed that made me write the story. I’m totally a pantser 🙂
I blog on story and spiritual things at mkami.weebly.com
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
