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RAE posted an update 2 years, 5 months ago
@savannah_grace2009 lol! I just realized my charries ask such odd questions, and usual it’s towards your charries. Glace with chicken and Beethoven. Chase with pizza. It’s so weird! How many times do you have to explain what a chicken is to someone?!
@rae Lol! That’s funny, I never thought of that!
@savannah_grace2009
Ikr? It’s just so NOT average.
“What did you do today?”
“Oh, I explained what a chicken is to a 100-year-old guy.”
@rae Lol!
@rae
Girl, how are you doing? You’ve been on my mind lately.
Uh, not really sure. I mean, I want to say ‘better’ since I haven’t wanted to punch my step-grandmother in the last week. (And saying better usually makes people go away, in ways I’m like Chase, I hide under the protection of a hoodie on the inside to hide my true feelings and my scars.) But we prayed at family devotions for her since today she went to get the batteries of her pacemaker replaced, and I honestly felt like we were praying for my enemy…
Of all people that I know face to face, I think I hate her the worst.
Oh, tag @savannah_grace2009
@rae
I’m sorry you’re going through that. And I don’t want you to have to talk about it if you don’t want to..so…yeah.
But even though it’s hard, God has a plan for your life. Ruee, even though your world is on fire right before your eyes, God’s right there with you. He’s giving you a story. He’s trusting that you can go through all this pain, this horrible pain, and He knows that you’re stronger than you know. He hasn’t forgotten you. Even though it feel’s like He’s silent, that doesn’t mean he’s not there, right there with you. He’s holding you, even when you can’t feel his arms around you, even when you can’t hear his voice.
And I’ll always be here to listen if you ever need to talk.
(sorry, I just kind of got started there. Sorry for kind of “preaching” at you, lol)
I know that God’s there because I’ve felt that way too. Not that I’ve ever had to go through something as horrible as what you’re going through, but I’ve been dealing with my own struggles. Sometimes I feel invisible, and I just want to be forgotten, I want to disappear. I’ve forgotten God. I’ve left Him. But then my world just gets worse. I’ve tried leaving God, but that only made everything more painful. Even though I know you’re doubting that God’s there, doubting His love for you, He’ll be your anchor in the storm. He knows what you’re going through, better than you know. He understands you better than you understand yourself. And he loves you.
Sorry if this is just annoying XD I just kind of relate in a way and I felt like I needed to share a little bit.
Yeah, I get what you’re saying. And it’s fine, I probably should be more transparent about heart than I am.
I have the head knowledge, the stuff I’ve been taught, but I think I just don’t truly understand it in my heart. Idk. Maybe I just… idk.
Maybe I just need to let go, but I don’t know how. The entire Christian walk seems to be letting go of the bad and grasping God, but it’s like a child taking their first steps, they don’t know how to…idk I really don’t know.
@rae
I understand, Christianity can be really tough sometimes!!!