Beta Reader wanted for my first 2 chapter of my Fantasy WIP

@anika123

I’d love to be a beta reader and provide feedback for you! I’m not sure if I’d be the best person because I don’t have anything published myself yet, but I’m getting closer and closer every day and have been writing for years.

I don’t share my email because it not only includes my full name but also my town/school name, and I’m not comfortable with sharing that for obvious reasons. I have some things going on right now but I definitely always have room to help a friend out!

Let me know if you accept my request! 😀

@anika123

I’m on page 4 so far and I love the story! I do, however, have a couple of concerns. There are some spelling and grammar mistakes that need to be fixed, I suggest those first. And I also suggest giving the characters’ individual voices. I can’t tell the difference between who’s speaking, thankfully this is an easy fix by developing tone and diction a bit more. Another thing is if you’re going to quote something within a quote, use single parentheses.

One other thing that takes away from the story is the layout. Your set-up is “Dialogue!” Said Evelyn. Repeat. While there’s nothing wrong with this by itself, there needs to be more description between the dialogue. It’s a little choppy and repetitive, maybe add some action into the mix.

Mostly everything else can be glossed over since you’re so early into your story. Please take this in the most constructive way possible, and I’m sorry if I’m coming across as blunt or mean. I really do love your story so far and can’t wait to see where it goes! 🙂

@anika123

I would, but I noticed that when I try to comment it includes my email address, once I’m able to sign out of my Google account I’ll comment it in the Doc.

@anika123

Alright. If you like you can copy/paste these right into the Doc.

@iluvhim18

Hi!

I’ve read what you have so far and I am greatly enjoying it. I think that the plot is a really good one and am wanting to read more!

My critiques would be that the way it is written is a little choppy to read. It’s sort of halting making the dialogues not flow very well. There are also some spelling mistakes throughout.

There’s a program on my computer that works on Google Chrome and Firefox (which are the browsers that I use) called Grammarly and it is compatible with Google Docs and for free it catches spelling mistakes, repeated words, and sentences that don’t flow. It has been helpful for me personally because I am not very good at spelling and grammar.

So that’s my feedback. 🙂

@anika123

The way that they are talking almost sounds stiff like they’re in a formal business sort of a setting, not two good friends talking to each other in an informal setting.