What is the first sentence (or first three sentences) of your current WIP?

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  • #93477
    Kathleen
    @kathleenramm
      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
      • Total Posts: 635

      What is the first sentence (or first three sentences) of your current WIP?

       

      “Have you heard of the boy who could freeze time?

      Unless you’re me, probably not. Because well, it’s me.”

      Ummm… so yeah…. you’ll understand if you read it. XD Might change that later on, but that’s the first three sentence of the current short story I’m writing. Which is actually the same short story that I used for last week’s topic of the week about MC’s internal struggle. I’m having a lot of fun with it, and can’t wait to finish it (hopefully) this week.

      So what are the first one, (or two-three), sentences of your current WIP?

       

      #93480
      Linyang Zhang
      @devastate-lasting
        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
        • Total Posts: 1700

        The bells clanged at the railroad crossing, lights flashing as the train brushed by, the wind scattering flower petals everywhere.

        “Ah…”

        He stood there, watching. Watching, waiting…


        @kathleenramm
        Oo, I love that! That sounds really interesting, I’d love to read your story someday!

        Ahem. Anyways, the above was from my current novella-which-is-looking-more-like-a-long-short-story, and it probably will change as I edit through and bulk up on the description a bit. I’ve been really happy to work on it for these past two days (after leaving it alone for a month or so) and I hope to finish it soon!

        Lately, it's been on my brain
        Would you mind letting me know
        If hours don't turn into days

        #93481
        Abigail.M.
        @abigail-m
          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
          • Total Posts: 1242

          @kathleenramm

          Oh my goodness, I love your first line, it immediately made me wonder about the character:)

          Here are the first three sentences from the prologue in The Snow Warrior. The prologue picks up a few days after she’d been abandoned. She didn’t have her Title or sword then either, so it’s one of the few ‘before’ scenes in the story.

          The wind ripped at the wisp of fabric, Mejia had wrapped tightly around her shoulders. The ice swirled in the air and through the dark night.
          She had been wandering the frozen tundra for days now and she couldn’t even remember the last time she saw daylight.

          • This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Abigail.M..
          #93482
          Abigail.M.
          @abigail-m
            • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
            • Total Posts: 1242

            @devastate-lasting

            love that first line! It’s so whimsical and eerie; it’s fantastic:)

            #93489
            Kathleen
            @kathleenramm
              • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
              • Total Posts: 635

              @devastate-lasting

              Those are a beautiful couple first lines! Something about your pros is always so lovely. It for some reason reminds me of kaleidoscopic water color painting with a touch of magic. I love it. XD


              @abigail-m

              I really love the imagery those first sentences. It already paints a clear picture of the scene in your head.

              #93492
              Abigail.M.
              @abigail-m
                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                • Total Posts: 1242

                @kathleenramm

                Thank you:)

                #93501
                SeekJustice
                @seekjustice
                  • Rank: Chosen One
                  • Total Posts: 3365

                  @kathleenramm

                  I love this topic already! @devestate-lasting @abigail-m yours sound amazing! I love the line “She couldn’t remember the last time she saw daylight” because its so eerie and confusing and immediately makes me think “What the heck?” but also makes me think of the arctic/antarctic (which I think is what you’re going for) so it grounds me in a place but also makes me very curious.  and “He stood there, watching. Watching, waiting…” Who is he??? what is he waiting for? What’s he watching, even? And Kathleen, yours immediately gives me Howl’s Moving Castle vibes, and I love that book.

                  I’m not actively working on anything at the moment, but here’s the first three sentences (four sentences?) of my last first draft:

                  He had smelt the evil before…mostly in his dreams.

                  As Ilio lay on the forest floor, damp and mould-ridden leaves pressed against the pale skin of his cheek, he tried to remember where he’d smelt that scent before. But he couldn’t bring any memories to his mind. Nothing.

                  INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

                  #93503
                  SeekJustice
                  @seekjustice
                    • Rank: Chosen One
                    • Total Posts: 3365

                    Sorry @devastate-lasting mispelt your name in my tag!

                    INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

                    #93509
                    Abigail.M.
                    @abigail-m
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1242

                      @seekjustice

                      Thank you! Your first sentences are awesome too! It painted such vivid images and made me wonder more about who this character is:)

                      #93511
                      Linyang Zhang
                      @devastate-lasting
                        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                        • Total Posts: 1700

                        @abigail-m Oo, Nice! I like how you set up the MC and the setting right off the bat! Thanks, by the way!


                        @kathleenramm
                        Thank you! Your comments make me very happy (❁´◡`❁)


                        @seekjustice
                        Thank you! That’s exactly what I wanted to set up with the prologue. I love yours as well! I really want to know what’s going to happen!

                        Lately, it's been on my brain
                        Would you mind letting me know
                        If hours don't turn into days

                        #93512
                        Anonymous
                          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                          • Total Posts: 1379

                          @kathleenramm

                          Lol, I’m a little nervous to answer this question. ‘Cause everyone says the first lines should be the best, but mine are honestly the worst in the whole book. 😂 I’ll answer anyways, though!

                          Here are the first three sentences of The Apostle’s Sister:

                          Could one’s life be saved by a brother who once hated her?

                          That was the last thing on Temira’s mind that day. “Stay back, Reuben!” she cried out as her small son wandered too close to the hot tannur.

                          *cringes*

                          Here are the first three sentences of The Anointed:

                          “I’m not your real kid.”

                          I have never seen my parents so furious. And would you believe they were furious at me?

                          Lol. Everyone else’s first sentences look amazing!

                          #93518
                          Abigail.M.
                          @abigail-m
                            • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                            • Total Posts: 1242
                            #93520
                            Abigail.M.
                            @abigail-m
                              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                              • Total Posts: 1242

                              @joy-caroline

                              You underestimate yourself, those are great first lines! 😀 I like the way that they set up the action for the chapter:)

                              • This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Abigail.M..
                              #93524
                              Anonymous
                                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                • Total Posts: 1379

                                @abigail-m

                                Aww, thanks, girl!!

                                #93526
                                Linyang Zhang
                                @devastate-lasting
                                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                  • Total Posts: 1700

                                  @joy-caroline Oo, nice hooks!

                                  Lately, it's been on my brain
                                  Would you mind letting me know
                                  If hours don't turn into days

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