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@esther-c @koshka @elishavet-pidyon @theshadow @theducktator @whalekeeper @rae @keilah-h @ellette-giselle @grcr @hybridlore
So most of you probably remember my little project back in March, you know, the collection that I put together that was a mix of poetry and short stories, allegories and things like that. I gave it to my youth group as part of my silent auction basket.
Well, since then I’ve expanded and continued it. I’ve kind of abandoned Project Outcry (for now) in favor of a journal/devotional thing where I write down things I’m struggling with and things God speaks to me about.
It’s a collection of very personal, emotional, REAL things, and I wanted to share it with you guys. I’m not actually asking for critiques on it (even though I put it in this Novel Critique Requests forum lol) I just wanted to create a topic that I can share it with you all. I hope you can relate to some of it or that you find comfort in knowing you’re not alone <3
Some of the things I’ve written are VERY personal, and might not make sense, so its a little scary putting myself out there like this, but I’m willing to share it with you anyway. Feel free to skip over any sections that are boring lol
https://editor.reedsy.com/s/WWC94HN
#MakeNahimTakeABreak
(the real ones will know)wow, thanks you so much for sharing this special treasure with us, Sara! I am excited to read it!
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
@savannah_grace2009 I love this!
Chapter 30 is interesting to me because my family went through sometime similar. Here’s the part that stood out:
She pictures her mom the last time she saw her, and remembers how she barely recognized her. She didn’t want that mom back. Why would she grieve a version of her mother that was broken, shattered, that didn’t even recognize her daughter when she walked in the room to say goodbye? A version of her mom that couldn’t walk, couldn’t get out of bed, that writhed in agony, too weak to push the button for more painkillers? A version of her mom that couldn’t even breathe on her own?
That wasn’t her mom. Not the mom she knew. It’s like her brain can’t understand how that woman in the hospital bed was the same woman that was always so alive. That said goodnight to her every night, and told her she was proud of her and that she would always love her.
She can’t tell anyone this, because they’d think she wanted her mom dead, that she didn’t love her mom. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
She didn’t want her mom to die, not really, but she didn’t want her mom to suffer anymore, either.
Nobody bothers to understand. They assume that she’s devastated, they assume that she’s sobbing her heart out every single day, and that she never smiles or laugh anymore.
My dad says the exact same thing, almost. His sister, my aunt, is gone, also because of cancer. She passed last year. My grandparents, they were the devastated sort of grieving (And just know I don’t fault them or hate them or anything for it, I’m just pointing it out). I don’t know how it affected my uncle, my dad’s brother, or my cousins, my aunt’s sons and daughter. But my dad? He says he didn’t cry once when she died. And it’s not that he didn’t care about her–much to the contrary. It’s because he didn’t want her to suffer. She was a Christian, and he knew that being in the company of Jesus and being in heaven where sickness doesn’t exist would be far better for her than withering away on earth. He was sad, but he was also happy for her in a way.
it’s just interesting how this happens. I don’t know if it helps you knowing that my family has had the same thing happen to us? But either way I felt like sharing that. I’ve probably talked about it before, and I’m sorry if it’s annoying to you because of that.
also, my brother has a journal in which he writes things like this. He has completely different struggles and high points (and he also uses it to plan the video game about dragon soldiers that he really wants to make when he’s older) but between the successes of his and yours, now I’m wondering if I should start writing something like this too.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
I’m scared to write, because whenever I write something, an allegory of it happens to me. I wrote about depression, and I got depressed. I wrote about the MC’s mother dying, and my mom died of cancer. I went numb, succumbing to the darkness, didn’t grieve the way I was supposed to. Just like what I wrote.
If I write about a character’s dad leaving them, is my dad going to leave us? If the main character’s sister dies, is my sister going to die?
Wow. This is an unusual fear.
Please don’t take that as offensive or condescending or anything negative. I’ve just….never seen someone make parallels like that before.
This is a theory, so please please PLEASE don’t take this as fact, and it also probably doesn’t apply to anyone else (so if you’re reading this and you’re not Sara, don’t apply it to yourself), but….is it possible that God gave your those story ideas to prepare you for the real thing? Like, maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe you got the idea for a character’s mom dying because He was trying to prepare you for it in real life. Now, you and your character have something in common. When you get back to writing, you can pull from your experience, and her experience will seem more real. Maybe someone, somewhere, will read your book, think about how they felt or are currently feeling the same, and that’ll strengthen the message of the story.
I mean, you wrote a Pythonos assaulting the character’s mother, and thankfully that didn’t happen to your real mother. You wrote about a boy with a foot problem, and I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned your brother or brothers breaking their leg beyond repair or having been born with a deficiency that’ll create a bad leg in the future. So while those things might be connected, I don’t think you have to fear that your writing will kill or harm your family.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Now I’m up crying instead of going to bed…yes I can relate to some of this and I wish I couldn’t…death sucks.
?For our Blessed Lady's sake, bring us in good ale!?
Girl I so appreciate how you take time to read all my stuff!!! <3 please don’t ever apologize for “ranting” or anything like that. I love all your thoughts and I love listening to what you have to say! I’m so glad we “met” each other through KP and that God put us in each other’s “lives” ( I mean at least, digital lives XDXD but I appreciate it nonetheless)
it’s just interesting how this happens. I don’t know if it helps you knowing that my family has had the same thing happen to us? But either way I felt like sharing that. I’ve probably talked about it before, and I’m sorry if it’s annoying to you because of that.
No no no it’s not annoying at all! Honestly with this project, I want to hear from the readers, like what memories it triggers, how it affects them, how they can relate to it. I want this project to be a conversation starter that makes us all feel a little less alone, and above all, helps us process and give it all to God. And I’m glad you shared! There’s definitely a time and place for sharing stuff like that (NOW is the time and place, the floor is open if you want to share anything btw!! love you <3 ) and right when my mom passed away, it was annoying at first when people tried to share stories with me, because it felt like they were minimizing MY pain. I didn’t want to share my grief with anyone, and I needed time to process how I was feeling before listening to other stories. But now that I’ve had some time, I LOVE LOVE LOVE hearing stories of what others have lost, and relating to people’s pain in ways that I couldn’t before. And it also opens my eyes to the brokenness of this world and how everyone has gone through loss in some way shape or form. So please, if something comes to mind, share it! It’s interesting to me and it’s food for thought!!
Please don’t take that as offensive or condescending or anything negative. I’ve just….never seen someone make parallels like that before.
No i’m not offended at all, it IS a pretty unusual fear! I think following this whole thing, I’ve been attacked with a lot of weird anxieties and fears I haven’t had before. I think it’s just Satan trying to scare me, confuse me, and make my life miserable. Either way, God has foiled Satan’s plans, because the anxiety I face makes me write about it in a different way! Instead of writing my fictional novel, I’m inspired to share what I’m going through, which might reach people in a way that my old novel couldn’t. I’m trying to embrace the trauma and pain, and see how it’s helping other people. My pain is excruciating at times but it is NEVER FOR NOTHING so I can have comfort in that.
I mean, you wrote a Pythonos assaulting the character’s mother, and thankfully that didn’t happen to your real mother. You wrote about a boy with a foot problem, and I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned your brother or brothers breaking their leg beyond repair or having been born with a deficiency that’ll create a bad leg in the future. So while those things might be connected, I don’t think you have to fear that your writing will kill or harm your family.
Good point XDXD
This is a theory, so please please PLEASE don’t take this as fact, and it also probably doesn’t apply to anyone else (so if you’re reading this and you’re not Sara, don’t apply it to yourself), but….is it possible that God gave your those story ideas to prepare you for the real thing? Like, maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe you got the idea for a character’s mom dying because He was trying to prepare you for it in real life.
I’ve definitely thought of that before. I think if it IS something from God, Satan is trying to pervert it, to make me afraid and things like that. So that’s definitely a possibility.
#spiritual-warfare-is-real
#MakeNahimTakeABreak
(the real ones will know)Now I’m up crying instead of going to bed…yes I can relate to some of this and I wish I couldn’t…death sucks.
Aw girl *hugs*
Wanna talk about it?
You don’t have to if you don’t want to! But if you need a friend or someone that can relate in some form, you can post it here (or email me bc you have my email!)
Death is so confusing. It’s hard. It’s crazy how it can affect every little thing. Humans were never created to die, so it’s understandable yet baffling how catastrophic death can be…
#MakeNahimTakeABreak
(the real ones will know)I’ve definitely thought of that before. I think if it IS something from God, Satan is trying to pervert it, to make me afraid and things like that. So that’s definitely a possibility.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Alright! I’ll come to this when I have enough time to appreciate it. I’m glad to see other people are already resonating with it. <3
I am out of signature ideas
I had the time to read up to chapter 6! (sorry, not very far, lol) I really, really love it! Your writing is so improved!!!!
I can’t wait to read more!
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
Super late lolll ? But I’m looking forward to reading it Sara!
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
did anyone read any more of this? I’m really curious to know what you all think!
@theducktator @ellette-giselle @grcr @whalekeeper#MakeNahimTakeABreak
(the real ones will know)It was such a sensitive read for me because I could tell how important it was to you. I found myself getting upset from reading it so I had to take a break, but I’m glad I read it.
I hope you’ve come to peace with a lot of these things. And if not, it’s good you wrote about them. My mom has talked about how important it is to expell emotions from your mind through your body, and the physical act of writing these words must have given you a measure of relief. <3
I am out of signature ideas
Yes, I love being able to look back, and just read through what I was feeling. Writing is so healing.
And believe it or not, as personal as those things I posted seemed, I didn’t share everything I wrote…there are some things that I don’t know if I’ll ever let people read. I’m surprised anyone read my little journal thingy at all…it means a lot that you guys all care about what I have to say! Thank you for reading it Whaley <3 and for being here for me!
#MakeNahimTakeABreak
(the real ones will know)
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