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I’ll second Whaley’s question. 🙂🫤
(Though you did “redacted” the post, so if you don’t care to reply I totally get it.)
You will love what you spend time with.
I don’t cry because I am weak, I cry because I can no longer take it. I can no longer bottle up my emotions, the ones I don’t want to express. I can no longer stack the bottles on the shelf, for it has fallen. It may not have been very important, it may just have been a small little thing. But my emotions have been stacked so high on the shelf in those bottles. They make the shelf lean, then collapse with me under it.
It may have been so small, but the emotions I have bottled up are not. In that moment, when I collapse under the weight of them all. I won’t just feel the little anger and sadness in that moment I should feel. I will feel more than that. Since the bottles burst open, and all of the emotions are released. I will feel depression, grief and hatred. Emotions I shouldn’t feel, but I feel them.
I have been bottling up them for so long, from so long ago, that I feel emotions I should have felt far in the past. But I feel them now. Because I don’t know how to express them, I don’t know how to conquer my fear, my fear to express myself.
I don’t cry because I am weak, I cry because I can’t take it any longer.
"This sleeping child you're holding, is the great I AM!"-Mary did you know
Hey! I have a question about the very end of your signature post (“This sleeping child you’re holding, is the great I AM!“-Mary did you know) Do you believe that Jesus really was the great I AM (The one true God of the Old Testament, the Father of all creation?)
It caught my attention, because that’s what I believe! (And it seems like a lot of other people unfortunately don’t. 🫤)
You will love what you spend time with.
Yes power
I do believe that. And it is sad that many people don’t believe that.
And I don’t mean to be rude or random, but are you mentally ok? You are very weird.
Like when I asked you a simple question about joining my thing, you gave me the most confusing, puzzling answer, I have ever heard. I just wanted to know a simple question, and why would you even “fake” vote on my thing if you NEVER WANTED TO PARTICIPATE IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
>:(
"This sleeping child you're holding, is the great I AM!"-Mary did you know
Maybe instead of letting your emotions out in big bursts, you should process them slowly and with control. Take it step by step. You’re right, it isn’t a good idea to repress feelings, but it would be so much better to talk about them with a trusted parent or friend who can give you advice.
For example, when someone says something off-putting or something you don’t understand, it might help to ask them what they mean before retaliating with anger.
Does that help?
#ProtectAdolinKholin
If I may I would like to add something.
You and me, Kefa, are very similar in the sense that we both have a tendency to bottle up our emotions until the you can’t reseal the bottle any longer, so all of your emotions go flying everywhere. Whether that’s through crying, punching something, or outright rage. I don’t know if you are the same as me but feel like I could totally beat the snot out of something, but I don’t because I don’t want to damage anything, or anyone, so I cry. This hasn’t happened in a while though for me because when I feel like I’m bottling up too many emotions, I go to talk to someone. Whether that’s my pastor/grandfather, my father, a friend, an older brother in Christ, there are there to help me.
If you need to talk to anyone, there are so many people here who are willing to help you, I am included. As an online Christian community, I feel it is our response ability to hold each other up when one is down.
I am here for you Kefa, as a fellow brother in Christ, and as a friend.
"Do you want me to keep the sideburns?"
#AnduthForever (Lord Willing)rax and Whaley,
I don’t think you get it. I CAN’T talk to people about my emotions. When I try, I just can’t utter a word.
I try to say SOMETHING, but I just keep my “Always” joyful, happy, everything is going perfect personality. I have even tried on here. And it doesn’t help.
Besides, I don’t know any of you personally, I can’t talk to you one on one. I can’t see your flesh, I just see text on a digital blue screen.
And, when I try to talk to people who ARE NOT my family I still can’t get my thoughts out! I have tried to talk to my closest friends, my Godfather, the aunt I am closest to, my teachers even my sponsor for confirmation (If you’re catholic you would understand.) But it always goes like this! “Hey *my real name* how are you doing?! Is everything going well?” And at that point I want to say this “I am not doing well at all! I have all this stress, I can’t get my emotions out and I have constant regret for every little wrong I have ever done! I feel terrible, stressed out and overwhelmed! I need a break from everything, but I can never get that! Every time I am free, there is another problem coming up!” But I don’t say that, I can’t.
I would emotionally break down and couldn’t support myself, and I wouldn’t want to put all that pressure on someone else! This is how it usually goes… “I am doing vert well, thanks! And how are you doing?”
or if it is my friend
“Oh, hey! I am doing great thanks! And you?”
I can never say what I want. Fear has taken over my life. Fear controls me. I always have to say that I am fine. I always say that I am doing well. But I am not.
(If I miss spelled fear at any point. I am sorry.)
"This sleeping child you're holding, is the great I AM!"-Mary did you know
Okay, don’t get too overwhelmed. Your mind will start racing, and when it does, take deep breaths and remind yourself to be positive.
If it makes it any easier, try writing down your feelings first. You might not understand why you feel a certain way, but that’s okay. Just find a word to describe the emotion and jot it down.
Then I would encourage you to try speaking with someone again, preferably someone older and wise.
It might be very difficult, and I understand, believe me. I personally have a very strong freeze instinct, so I go through long pauses (minutes at a time) and vacant stares before I can say anything. …You might also feel embarrassed to throw off someone else’s day.
Those things do not matter as much as your well-being. It is okay to express yourself in a messy fashion, and it is okay to not have all the words.
#ProtectAdolinKholin
@the_lost-journal
Hi, I’m sorry you’re going through all that right now. It sounds like a lot. You didn’t specifically ask for advice so feel free to ignore this, but here:This is going to sound weird, but I think taking yourself more might help. When I’m angry about something and I feel out of control, I try to step away from the situation and talk myself through it. Sometimes I tell myself what the right thing to do in the moment is, even if all my emotions are telling me otherwise. Sometimes I tell myself stories from the other person’s perspective, so I can understand their actions. Sometimes I realize they’re hurting more than I am. The stories you tell yourself really matter, and if you let your emotions control the narrative, you’ll cause yourself a lot of extra pain. The psalmist talks to himself in the Bible, and he’s someone who had a lot of strong emotions because of all the trials he went through.
“Oh, my soul, why are you grieving? Why disquieted in me? Hope in God, your faith retrieving. He will still your refuge be.”
He fully expresses his feelings to God and to whoever is listening to or reading his poetry, but then turns around and tells himself the gospel and what he needs to do.
So yes, don’t bottle your feelings up. I’m sorry you’ve had to do that so much. Instead acknowledge them and listen to them and then let them go. Pray and ask God for help. (The amazing thing is, He completely understands and knows you better than anyone could.) And if the feelings linger, just give yourself some time to have an honest and kind conversation with them.
At least, that’s what I do. But I’m just a random girl on the internet with a completely different personality so you don’t have to listen to me. This may not be helpful for you, but I’m praying you figure it out and are feeling better soon. 🩷
🎵It takes a long time to wait 🌻
I agree with @whalekeeper, write your thoughts down. Writing your thoughts down can help you understand them.
I have felt the way you’ve felt before. It’s sometimes really hard to say the truth about the hurt and stress in your life. But if you start the conversation, that might help, say something like, “Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?” This has helped me, and it may help you.
Fear is a strong ally of the devil. He uses fear to control one’s life to think poorly of themselves or do other sinful things. I pray that you will find peace by knowing that Jesus is the one who can save you. He will save you, because he has saved me, and many others. I am sorry that you are controlled by fear, but prayer helps, it truly does and I can testify to it.
I know you don’t know me very well (or at all), but if you still want someone to talk to you about anything, I’ll be here.
Please take this all as suggestions and advise, I just want to help you in this dark time of your life.
May God bless and keep you. I’ll be praying for you.
"Do you want me to keep the sideburns?"
#AnduthForever (Lord Willing).
No offense to anyone. But I can’t find peace through any of the suggestions you have given me.
I don’t feel anything when I write down my feelings, all I see is words on a piece of paper. I just feel empty. And it doesn’t help
Also who is Psalmist? What book is he in?
Anyway. I don’t know why I am feeling these ways, but everything I do makes me feel more empty.
AND FOR THE LAST TIME! I CANNOT DO THAT WHALEY!
I can’t talk to someone, I don’t know how many stupid times I have said that, but I JUST CAN’T!
It doesn’t help me anyway. The only thing that makes me feel any better is when I pray.
"This sleeping child you're holding, is the great I AM!"-Mary did you know
you know what,
I am just gonna stop replying on here. You all are just text and a picture to me. It doesn’t help.
It just drives me to the edge of my mental health. It just drives me more insane.
"This sleeping child you're holding, is the great I AM!"-Mary did you know
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