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Home Page › Forums › Other Art Forms › Poetry › Poetry Critiques › Critiques needed, Needs Name
I was supposed to write a story for a writing class and I had to use the words: apple, train, elephant, paper, and banjo. So I wrote a poem story. Here it is:
There once was a girl named Jojo
Who quite hated the banjo
But she danced about and didn’t shout it out
That it was her birthday
Now came to her was Elephant
Who doesn’t make a rampant
But is quiet and soft, though tallest of them all
Never was a jerk
Elephant brought her a gift
And so played her a riff
T’was a song by Train, which she liked the most
Made her very day
Elephant thought of a trick
He took an apple that he pick
And threw it up then catches it in mouth
Jojo laughs the more
Now I’ve run out of paper
I’m sure I’ll see you later
To tell you some stories about the wonderful things
That you read before you sleep
If you want to give some feedback, I will more than gladly take it.
I go by many names, Andrew, Andy, Mandrew, but you may call me... BATMAN!!!
@rae can you tag people, I hate tagging.
I go by many names, Andrew, Andy, Mandrew, but you may call me... BATMAN!!!
@Andrew
can you tag people, I hate tagging.
Sure!
@jonas @highscribeofaetherium @ellette-giselle @theducktator @linus-smallprint @loopylin @whalekeeper @the_lost-journal POEM!!!!!! ↑↑↑
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