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So this is bouncing off @godlyfantasy12 ‘s topic concerning neurodivergence.
I am not really familiar with mental quirks (other than my own, and those of people I know), but I have a lot of experience with some physical handicaps.
One of my siblings is in a wheelchair. (Just referring to this sibling vaguely, for privacy reasons, I guess.) He has had spina bifida his entire life, multiple surgeries. Was born with a hole in his spine, essentially. Scoliosis has also been a problem. He used to walk some, now, barely any at all.
Because of this, I have always been very familiar with handicapped people in general, especially those in wheelchairs, who cannot walk, or have limbs missing. I will see people who have literally nothing under their torso, and practically walk on their hands, and barely give them a second glance.
The only sport I follow is wheelchair basketball XD
This is just one area of physical disabilities, but I just thought I’d share my experience. If you have a character with this kind of situation, I might not know the medical stuff? But I can at least tell you what it’s like, being a sibling and living with that person.
There is some drama behind it, but it’s important to realize that to us (me and others), it’s a completely normal aspect of life. It’s not like, “oh, I think about this all the time and cry all the time, oh, I wish things were different.” It’s just reality. At least for those born with it. You just SucK iT Up and live with it.
So, yeah. Anything y’all would like to share?
❤
@seekjustice @freedomwriter76 @hybridlore“Everything is a mountain”
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@whalekeeper Glad you made this topic too!!!
As someone that has known people bound in wheelchairs, someone without one leg, and having an Aunt that is legally blind, handicaps have also been something I’ve seen and watched people deal with and struggle with.
Plus, I myself have Scoliosis. It’s not severe, but it’s still hard to deal with somedays, y’know? Because of it, I have random bouts of back, shoulder, and neck pain, and I can’t lift things that are too heavy, else it all flares up again, and I also have to try to remember to do chiropractic exercises to try and help with the pain. It sometimes causes one of my shoulders to be higher than the other, and, though it’s gotten better, it’s been flaring up quite a bit the past few days. I only learned that I had it within the past year, when mom noticed that my right shoulder was lower than my left.
Probably the biggest person I’ve watched deal with a handicap has been my Aunt, who has been legally blind (though she can still see some things, they’re just blurry, even with glasses) since birth. It’s been hard on her, I know, especially in recent years.
(oh, and as a side note, please pray for her if you can remember to…I’d really appreciate it. She blames God for her blindness and has completely turned away from him. She’s very dear to me, and without her, I never would have started writing. So, if you can, please pray for her…I’d appreciate it so much more than anyone will ever know 💖)
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And yeah, I feel that whole “suck it up and live with it” thing. I’ve learned to just live with the pain that scoliosis causes, and, y’know, I try to do things to help make it better, but sometimes I also just kinda…ignore it.
I guess I’ve kinda gotten used to it by now.
I mean…even before I knew that I had scoliosis, I had pain at times, but I ignored it.
But…I’m also a girl that tries to ignore and power through pain and emotions…so that could be a factor😂
@whalekeeper @freedomwriter76
Yeah, me too! It definitely helps to be able to talk to other people about different topics, especially ones I’m not too familiar with.
Thankfully, my family is pretty healthy in general, my mom has a thyroid disease and my dad has pre-diabetes so we eat a lot different than normal, but nothing like ya’ll’s families. (I’ll be praying for your aunt, Freedom ❤️❤️)
I definitely struggle more with mental stuff, but I’ll definitely still check out this topic (actually that’s an even bigger reason to, I guess, since I don’t have much experience here).
I really appreciate you guys sharing, I love to hear what your guys’ lives are like and your thoughts on different issues ❤️❤️.
WE ARE REVIVING THE PROTECTION SQUAD! *steals Joseph, Julian, and Sabina from Ellette*
@freedomwriter76
Yeah, that makes sense! I’ll definitely be praying for your pain!!
WE ARE REVIVING THE PROTECTION SQUAD! *steals Joseph, Julian, and Sabina from Ellette*
love the idea! I also have physical disabilities and a lot (read pretty much all lol) of my friends do too!
because it’s such a huge part of my life it shows up in my writing all the time as well!
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
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@hybridlore Yes, and I’m so glad we can help each other learn!! 💖
Me and my family has to eat a lot different too (because of allergies) and it makes it hard for family, friend, and church gatherings…but again, it’s something we’ve all gotten used to and just accept as a part of our life. And tysm for the prayers for my aunt, girl…it means so much to me 💖😭
Of course. Sharing our own experiences could help others, so it’s good to share our own struggles and experiences ❤️And tysm for praying for me, girl, it means so much too 💖💖💖
@freedomwriter76
Yeah!!
Yeah, that’s true. It’s hard to find restaurants that have options for all of us sometimes, since we travel a lot 😅.
Of course, girl!! ❤️
WE ARE REVIVING THE PROTECTION SQUAD! *steals Joseph, Julian, and Sabina from Ellette*
@whalekeeper @everyone I’m really glad you started this thread! I’ve been studying/observing/taking side course work on physical disabilities and their functions. I’ve discovered some very intriguing things over the course of time; and I guess, I really could help some people out if they have a specific disability they are writing about and they’d be willing to share.
My specialty comes in on how to treat and heal a person with a disability; now, some disabilities can not be healed completely but there is certain lifestyle changes that that person must adapt to. To use an example, I am currently not disabled but I have limited motion range; I had to learn a completely new lifestyle/am still learning how to fit in my regular day-to-day activities when my options are few. A disability doesn’t mean the person has to stay still always; in fact most of the time, that person learns to grow and thrive in their new zone. Physical pain is something that most people won’t express; it’s something that most people won’t dive into deep detail about because it leaves them vulnerable. So, if your struggling with physical pain in a character with a disability, I can help you out a little bit there too.
I’ve known physical pain in my life; I am a very reckless and curious person, and I have done some things to damage my spine. I fell out of two trees, and I permanently got to a place in my life where I occasionally will have ribs out of place. If you have a character with spinal issues, I know the pain, and I can describe it in detail. I have acquired many concussions, many whip-lash incidents…*sigh* yes, I am not disabled, but some of these side-effects come with being disabled. A person with a spinal disorder might experience sudden bouts of heat in their temples, along with their ears, feel an aching, throbbing sensation running along their nerves; headaches are common, in that area as well.
If you’ve have a character who almost lost a hand/finger/body part…I can help you there as well. I cut myself in a bandsaw, ran my finger right through…I don’t know how I didn’t lose it, and I never went to the hospital to get stitches but what I did experience was sudden nausea, shock, heatflashes, and intense blood loss.
If you have a character who needs to be in the hospital, I can go into deep detail about hospital staff, the way they run things, things that most people don’t talk about after they’ve been there. All hospitals are different, yes, but I’ve been in few.Although disability’s are not something I have, or have experienced; I do know pain. And most people, ignore the pain aspect in a character. Mental pain, sure, we hit our characters all day with that; but when it comes to physical pain, its like Whaley said, “suck it up, buttercup”. Pain is real. And I’ve experienced a lot of it. So, let me know if y’all need help; I’m a tag away!!
God bless!!
follow the one with fire in His eyes
@whalekeeper @freedomwriter76 @livingwoodchronicles
I haven’t gone through a ton of physical pain myself, more on the mental side of things, but my grandpa, who i live with and have always been close to, beyond imagination, has a back that…is beyond…
Just yea. He needs surgery, but surgery is risky, and we’re seeking God’s will and praying for a miracle 😊
Some of it happened due to a car accident as a child, and it has worsened over the years.
My grandpa is a man’s man, he works and works and works, and he, and my grandma, and my parents don’t know the meaning of the word quit.
My grandma has chronic pain, in her legs, feet, hands, etc. she had hand surgery, and some things went awry.
She suffers so much. It’s hard to watch.
My mother struggles with some issues, as does my father.
And while I understand the Suck it up mentality…
I hate it.
Maybe that’s just me. But I hate it for both mental issues and physical.
(I am not pointing this at anyone, please don’t take this offensively, this is just my opinion 😊)
Alright, suck it up until what? You breakdown? You fall under the weight of it all? You explode? You crumble?
Yea…i have to admit I tend to play the victim a lot. I hate that about myself. I’m struggling a lot right now with some things personally…victimizing myself….maybe romanticizing some things I shouldn’t 😅…but that still doesn’t change my opinion on this.
And I’m not talking about probably what you’re saying, I’m talking about the mindset of- “Oh well, you’re fine, just suck it up, it’s not that bad.” Or people who think that about themselves, when in reality, it IS that bad, and they have been working themselves to the bone and THEY NEED REST!
I think this is just near to my heart because I see my own family who literally never stops…never stops going and I admire them so much for that (and wish I was like that) but so many times I’m like “Please….just rest for a while….”
But when you’ve lived with a “suck it up and do the work” mentality for so long, you can’t feel okay with resting.
I have family who feels guilty when they take a break from things…
Yea I wish I was more like that in a way….I feel like I’m the opposite sometimes 😅 but neither side is healthy ya know?
ok that was kind of a rant but uhh yea lol
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
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@godlyfantasy12 (i’ll be praying for your family, girl, all of them!! 💖💖)
Girl, I totally get what you’re saying!! Personally, I’ve truly never thought that my “suck it up” mentality is a good thing…but when you’ve been doing something for so long, it gets hard to get over, y’know? And that mentality, for me at least, comes naturally for both mental and physical pain…and it’s hard to stop doing it.
I’ve gotten better, but it’s still hard for me to open up about my feelings/pain and what I’m going through in general. My mom is a lot like me in that aspect.
For me, I’ve always had this feeling that I need to be there, and be strong, for my friends and family. I’ve always felt as though I need to take care of them first, worry about myself later.
When it comes to emotions, I don’t want to burden others with my problems, and so I carry them alone.
I’ve gotten better at opening up…and I’m trying to let go of that “suck it up” mentality, but it’s a learning process.
I don’t feel guilty when I stop doing something, but if I can’t help do something, I do often feel useless 😅
I push emotions down, and truth be told, I do have explosions. I know I may seem pretty easy going and fun loving and kind and everything, and I try to be, but explosions do happen, and honestly, I struggle a lot with letting people know about the things I’m going through, which has caused a lot of bouts of loneliness and depression.
I hate the suck it up mentality too, but like you said, when you’ve been doing it for so long…it’s something really hard to let go of, especially when you’re like me and think that by letting people know, you’ll somehow burden them with your problems.
But I know God can help me…and he can help you too 💖💖💖
cheers to you if you read through all of that. XXD
Not debating, just talking about my own issue with having that mentality ❤️
@freedomwriter76 I understand! Hope everything gets better and yes, God is always on your side!
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@godlyfantasy12 ❤️❤️❤️❤️😭🥺🥺 Oh girlfriend, you are in my prayers!! You and your family! I know that feeling your experiencing, because my family has the exact same problem.
My family doesn’t stop working; doesn’t rest; and they always, ALWAYS, no-matter what it is, no matter if it hurts them or not, they are always going to keep doing it. My grandfather dealt with it too…he wouldn’t say ‘no’.
But over time, I also became a victim to overworking myself. It caused me to do reckless behaviors, forget things, and evidently, get myself tongue-tied in situations I wish I had never been in.
The “suck it up mentality” is a victimizing aspect. People need rest. That is why God created the Sabbath; man for sabbath, not sabbath for man. Rest is crucial, for mental health and physical. Work has its place.
There is a time for rest and a time for work.
I understand that people dwell in the “suck it up, buttercup” mentality and I understand its hard to get out if its all you’ve ever known; but girlfriend, God helped me out of that…and He’ll help you too. ❤️❤️❤️ I agree with what Freedom said.
We all are here for each-other, not to judge, but to lift each-other and sharpen each-other as brother’s and sisters in Christ should. ❤️❤️ 😉🥰
follow the one with fire in His eyes
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@godlyfantasy12 Thx girl, means a lot <3
Sympathizing with all of y’all ❤❤❤ When I say ‘suck it up, buttercup,’ I mean putting away all selfish, unnecessary angst. I’m not saying resting or emotions are wrong – because it’s unhealthy to put those away and keep pushing yourself. Just so I don’t seem harsh 😅
@freedomwriter76
Have you needed a brace for the scoliosis? 😢
My mum has major issues with her thyroid too. It’s really tough, I hope your mum is doing better ❤
“Everything is a mountain”
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