Song writing

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  • #13907
    BlueJay
    @bluejay
      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
      • Total Posts: 1622

      Okay. I’m stuck. But I guess that is obvious as I’m here. I need a song. It doesn’t have to be long, but I feel that I should add at least a verse or two. Or rather I need a poem. As it will be in a story with no music. It needs to runs along the theme “I love you, do you love me?” It is a song that appears in my story “The Golden Conch”.
      I have added the section where I would add the song. If you feel it doesn’t need it, let me know. 🙂


      “Shall I play for you?”
      “Yes, please do.”
      Mango lift the instrument and softly played ‘I love you, do you love me?’ Claudia sang along.
      When the song finished the door opened again.
      “I was wondering what the lyrics to that song was,” said Max. “Now I know.

      There you have it folks. What do you think?

      #13908
      BlueJay
      @bluejay
        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
        • Total Posts: 1622

        Oh, so if you think it does need a poem, can you please help me write one??? Let me tag a few people so they see this.


        @daeus
        , @hannah-c , @hope , @aella , @anna-brie , @kate-flournoy , @faithdk , @gretald , @rolena-hatfield , @writefury , @spradlin , @sarah-h , @winter-rose , @anyone-else-who-cares-to-help

        #13911
        Hope Ann
        @hope
          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
          • Total Posts: 1092

          I’m not…I’m awful at songs and poems. Well, maybe not awful, but I have a hard time thinking things up. If I get any ideas I’ll tell you, but I’m afraid I might not be much help at this.

          INTJ - Inhumane. No-feelings. Terrible. Judgment and doom on everyone.

          #13923
          Kate Flournoy
          @kate-flournoy
            • Rank: Chosen One
            • Total Posts: 3976

            @Bluejay I don’t necessarily think you need to include the song itself, but a description of the music would be nice. Just it’s tone— melancholy, cheerful, stirring? What’s it sound like? And what quality is the sound? Clear? Deep? Vibrant? Shrill? Tinkling? Whispering? You might also describe character reactions to it— leaning back and shutting their eyes, smiling at each other, taking deep breaths and smiling peacefully. Just let us know what’s happening while the music’s going on, and we’ll form a very good picture, and a picture is worth a thousand words. 😉

            Hannah C
            @hannah-c
              • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
              • Total Posts: 362

              I agree with @kate-flournoy. But if you do want lyrics then here is some.

              If you were lost across the sea
              I’d sail a boat in search of thee
              Or if you were tossed amongst the waves
              I’d give my life for thee to save
              And give my freedom for thee to free
              For I love you, do you love me?

              Not sure that helps but maybe you can get an idea for something else form it.

              HC

              #13929
              BlueJay
              @bluejay
                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                • Total Posts: 1622

                Ah @kate-flournoy. Yes, I see your point.


                @hannah-c
                Wow! I love it. Especially since they are in the sea. 🙂 That’s great. Thank so much.


                @hope
                , that’s okay. 😉

                #13930
                Hannah C
                @hannah-c
                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                  • Total Posts: 362

                  @Bluejay my pleasure, I had a lot of fun coming up with it. 😀

                  HC

                  #13954
                  Daeus
                  @daeus
                    • Rank: Chosen One
                    • Total Posts: 4238

                    Kate’s right, but that doesn’t mean you can’t fit in the lyrics too.

                    I don’t really *cough cough* write love poems, but *waves magic wand* we shall see.

                    Parched in the desert
                    Lost in the sea
                    I can be wasting
                    But full in thee

                    There is a fountain
                    That gives men youth
                    Make me much younger
                    And speak the truth

                    I give you my love
                    Through whatever
                    Return it, it will
                    Grow forever

                    Does that help at all @bluejay? By the way, I love how Mango sounds as a name. I didn’t know it would just radiate like that.

                    🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢

                    #13956
                    BlueJay
                    @bluejay
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1622

                      @daeus Yes, I have grown to love the character Mango. Of course his full name is Mangomeous the third of Sataniam. 🙂 I think I like Hannah’s poem a bit better, but yours is great too. So I will definitely keep it in mind. Thank you.
                      Yeah, love poems are really hard to write. Good job though. 🙂
                      Hopefully the story will work out and then you’ll be able to read it.

                      • This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by BlueJay. Reason: spelling error, like normal
                      #13958
                      Faith Kindred
                      @faithdk
                        • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                        • Total Posts: 139

                        I’m not that great with writing poems or songs either, so I’ll leave this to the people who can. 😉 Haha. Sorry though. :/

                        #13962
                        Daeus
                        @daeus
                          • Rank: Chosen One
                          • Total Posts: 4238

                          Heh heh! Mangomeous the third. That’s great. Why Sataniam though? He isn’t a fiend, is he?

                          🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢

                          #13963
                          Anonymous
                            • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                            • Total Posts: 1486


                            @bluejay
                            Since Max mentions the lyrics, I think you defiantly need some. I don’t have any song lyrics to give right now (I’m not really a poet?), but it looks like some other people have already given some great suggestions ?.

                            #13964
                            BlueJay
                            @bluejay
                              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                              • Total Posts: 1622

                              @faithdk No problem. I just tagged random tags.


                              @daeus
                              I’m not sure that I’m sticking with Sataniam. It is a neighboring city, which Mango comes from. If you can think of a better name that suits Atlantis I would appreciate it. If you could think of two names that would be even better. 🙂 (I have two cities and the other is called Hetlem. I’m not very good with making up names)

                              @winter-rose That is what I felt. @hannah-c gave some really nice lyrics so I think I will go with them.

                              #13974
                              Kate Flournoy
                              @kate-flournoy
                                • Rank: Chosen One
                                • Total Posts: 3976

                                @Bluejay Aquarius. Oceanus. Marinius. Aquaticus. Those any help?

                                I love both poems, @Daeus and @Hannah-C! I’ve never tried to write a love poem either. *coughcough* I can imagine it would be a bit tricky. 😛

                                Daeus
                                @daeus
                                  • Rank: Chosen One
                                  • Total Posts: 4238

                                  Poleminus.
                                  Entros.

                                  🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢

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