Calling all storytellers…

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  • #109268
    Faith Q.
    @faith-q
      • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
      • Total Posts: 106

      Okay, y’all, so I recently finished my YA fantasy novel.

      *cues the high-pitched screams*

      But my next project is a middle-grade novel featuring a 12-year-old MC who gets herself into all sorts of scrapes.

      The problem is, I’m not naturally a humorous writer. It’s something I’m trying to work on in this story, true, but a very not funny writer trying to pants a very humorous story… isn’t good.

      So here’s where you come in: I would love all of the funny stories that you have about anything and everything. That thing that happened to you when you were 4, the mistake you made as a 7-year-old, the big to-do that happened at your school… everything. I need stories to weave into the main idea (in the style of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever and Adventures with Waffles), so pretty much anything goes.

      Quick disclaimer: I really don’t want anything inappropriate, and names don’t have to be provided, especially if it would embarrass the person. Also, don’t tell me anything you don’t want to see in print. I doubt it’ll ever happen, but you never know… Thanks! Send as many stories as you want; I might just use them! Y’all are the best!


      @kathleenramm
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      #109269
      Power
      @power
        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
        • Total Posts: 309

        @faith-q

        Well. . . let’s see 🤔. Do I have any good stories? There was that time at church (I was maybe 10-12) when I was helping the teacher (my mom) with a lesson. The theme for that quarter was like wild west, and we had WANTED posters for “people” (Rebellion, Laziness, Hate, Ect.) I was supposed to play the part of the outlaw Rebellion. I was to be arrested, put in jail, hear the story for the week, then repent of my evil ways. The problem was, that in the skit I had to “cry” (How embarrassing 😳😱) so, I just decided to skip that part. . . but it was not to be. I was told to do it. I refuse in front of the class. So, in other words, Rebellion rebelled. I was promptly marched down stairs and well, needs we say more.

        There was also a phase I went through when I kept accidentally hurting my friends (Worse off, all the ones that got hurt were girls). Playing baseball and taking out the first baseman, tossed a shovel over a fence and peg someone on the other side. Racing down a path and bump (I tend to bump things very hard) into a fellow runner and send them sprawling onto the nice hard concrete. I was starting to wonder why this only happened to me, (None of my other friends seemed to be trying to give people concussions.) but it finally stopped. *Smiles wildly, throws out arms, and knocks a glass of orange juice on top of my cat. Jk 😜*

        I don’t know if that helped. Let me see if I can remember any actual funny stories.

        You will love what you spend time with.

        #109270
        Power
        @power
          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
          • Total Posts: 309

          Oh, something that might be interested is that I like to climb things, but am scared of heights, and I like exploring caves and other tight places, but can easily get claustrophobic, in which case I WANT OUT RIGHT NOW!

          You will love what you spend time with.

          #109271
          Power
          @power
            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
            • Total Posts: 309

            .

            • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Power.
            • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Power. Reason: Stuff foot into mouth. Need to read post more thoroughly

            You will love what you spend time with.

            #109274
            Autumn Rebecca
            @autumn-rebecca
              • Rank: Wise Jester
              • Total Posts: 57

              Hmm… I would love to help, but I’m known for how little I’ve embarrassed myself.

              However! This may not be good for an actual book, but I used to want to break/sprain my ankle so that I could have crutches. (My sister had sprained her ankle and I was jealous for years. 🤣)

              Thankfully, I have yet to sprain or break my ankle. But I did sprain my wrist by scrubbing a bathtub. Funniest way to get out of cleaning bathtubs, in my opinion. 😂

              Words have the ability to touch the darkest souls... The receiver must simply allow them to.

              #109275
              Joelle Stone
              @joelle-stone
                • Rank: Wise Jester
                • Total Posts: 57

                Ooh, great idea!! I have lots of funny stories up my sleeves… 😛

                So my family always has a big family dinner for Thanksgiving, with the aunt, uncle, cousins (SO MANY COUSINS), grandparents, great-grandparents, random friends that are essentially family, etc. A couple years ago my dad’s parents decided to host it. It was a BLAST of a Thanksgiving, with all the food you could eat and plenty of laughter.

                However… the topic came up about how young my mom used to look. Like she used to look so young that when my dad first started dating her his brother pulled him aside and was like, “Uh, why are you dating a twelve-year-old?!” XD Anyway, my grandpa let slip that she used to look sixteen but she doesn’t anymore.

                Yep, that was hilarious. He got this really shocked look on his face and started pouring compliments out to my mom and refused to say what age he thought she looked like now. XDDD

                ***

                On the topic of sprained ankles, I’m with @autumn-rebecca on this one. I used to want to break a bone for the sheer joy of having crutches – until I actually did it. My sibling and I were riding some horses out in the flattest part of the hay field – probably twenty feet square with a ditch through the middle. My sibling was teaching me a few tricks (how to post in a Western saddle, how to keep control of my horse (his name was Bandit, a sweet Tennessee Walker), etc. He/she had me ride in a wide circle in the field, trying to get me up to a lope (the third gait and a bit before galloping). The thing is, is that Tennessee Walkers are “gaited” horses – meaning that instead of trotting, they pace. Pacing is where instead of lifting up their front right hoof and back left hoof, then moving the front left hoof and back right hoof (look up a diagram for trotting if this doesn’t make sense), they move the right side first and then the left side. It’s really smooth, but also not so good if you’re going in a circle.

                Whelp, I was working on getting Bandit up to a lope, so he was pacing really quickly when all of a sudden I found myself on the ground – with the horse on top of me. No joke. XD My sibling later said that he/she didn’t think Bandit was any less surprised as I was – his eyes got really big and he spooked as soon as he got up. Problem was, when he stood up, he had smashed my ankle into the stirrup and so dragged me for a little ways before I got my foot out. Not fun.

                Long story short, my sibling went and got help, and I got crutches!! We kept my foot wrapped for a few days, but I had to crawl around until we got some crutches from some friends. After I was still unable to walk on it about a week later, my mom decided to take me in. I got X-rayed and found out that not only had I fractured my ankle, but I’d sprained it as well. I was in a boot for six weeks (which was better than the crutches – crutches are fun for a while until they start to irritate your armpits and it hurts to use them).

                The best part about this story is that that was the second time that week that a horse had fallen over on me – and the first time it was a different horse! That time I’d seen it happening and been able to shift just enough to keep myself from getting smushed, but that ended the ride.

                Tiny other side funny story: I’ve always hated knitting and crocheting and all that stuff, mostly ’cause I could never figure out how it worked. But due to all the mud outside after I broke my ankle, I was stuck inside for six weeks and got very bored. So yes, I learned how to knit. I haven’t knitted since I got out of my boot, however, ‘cept maybe once or twice when I was feeling bored. XD

                ***

                Ok, that was pretty long. Sry. 😉 Good luck with your stories, Faith!!

                "Courage is found in unlikely places." -Gildor Inglorion

                #109278
                Daisy Torres
                @daisy-torres
                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                  • Total Posts: 691

                  Ooo I love humorous stories!!

                  One way I embarrassed myself? Once, I was playing with a little girl. We climbed up the slide and she raced down it, so I followed. However, I was going down slowly so I pushed myself forward and–

                  –tumbled head-over-heels down the slide, where I promptly landed at my crush’s feet.

                  I was mortified XDD

                  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Daisy Torres.

                  "It's easy to be caught up in stardust and whispers when reality is so dark and loud."

                  #109313
                  Keilah H.
                  @keilah-h
                    • Rank: Chosen One
                    • Total Posts: 4913

                    Me and my brother have little snippets of conversation from our stories we save because they’re funny. I’m not sure if any will help you without the context, but I could find a few if you want.

                    Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

                    #109325
                    Koshka
                    @koshka
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1603

                      @faith-q

                      We’ll, right now I can’t think of many actually funny stories which would make sense out of context, which is annoying as I know of many.

                      First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
                      Fork the Gork

                      #109333
                      Autumn Rebecca
                      @autumn-rebecca
                        • Rank: Wise Jester
                        • Total Posts: 57

                        @joellestone

                        That’s terrible! 😱 That sounds like an awful way to fracture an ankle. Then again… Every way is awful. Lol.

                        Words have the ability to touch the darkest souls... The receiver must simply allow them to.

                        #109336
                        Trahia the Minstrel
                        @trahia-the-minstrel
                          • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                          • Total Posts: 193

                          @faith-q

                          This literally happened to me a few minutes ago.

                          I was being silly, and holding my Mum’s morning tea muffin aloft on a plate like Rafiki holds up Simba, while chanting The Circle of Life. I caught Mum’s attention as I held said plate aloft with two hands, and she gave me look like — as said by Adrian Plass — I’d announced a pig was dancing Swan Lake.

                          I grinned at my Mum, pleased that my weird display had been noticed, as I was in an attention seeking and slightly hilarious mood, and lowered the plate to give her the muffin—

                          And accidentally tilted the plate wrong, dropping the muffin down the front of my skirt and onto the floor.

                          My little sister, doing school at our dining room table, started laughing helplessly, as did I. I promptly dropped the plate with a resounding clatter onto our side-table thing, and swooped down to pick up the poor abused Simba muffin within two seconds, whisking it back onto the plate and feeling surprised and slightly worried by how squishy it felt, all the while still laughing quite helplessly.

                          Mum picked up the muffin, looked at it with a disturbed expression, looked at me with a disturbed expression, then began to laugh helplessly herself. She mentioned worry that the melted chocolate would have got all over the floor. I said, “Nah. Two second rule. It’s fine …😂”

                          Mum then reminded me this wasn’t the first time I’d dropped a muffin in this fashion. She said that’s why we shouldn’t play with muffins. (While still laughing. Mum has a good sense of humour. And my sister was in fits.)

                          I then finished making her cup of tea, and eyed Mum with a naughty twinkle just before I picked it up, starting to chant The Circle of Life again.

                          I’ll leave the rest to your imagination …

                          The end of a story, a beautiful picture; a feeling of longing yet hope~
                          That’s my wish to create.

                          #109338
                          Annabelle
                          @annabelle
                            • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                            • Total Posts: 108

                            Well, my siblings have some pretty funny stories.

                            One time, my youngest brother (he was 3 at the time) was playing outside with a pretend bucket of “soup”. (It was really just dirt and water).

                            Anyway, he made this soup and left it there to come in and eat lunch. He didn’t go back outside at all that day.

                            Then, the next day, he went back outside again. My siblings and I were all inside, having no clue what our brother was getting into. The next thing we knew, he was hiking up the entry stairs with a wet, grey, hairy blob in his hands. “Is this a toy?” he said so innocently. Everyone looked at him.

                            But the “toy” was a DEAD MOUSE.

                            Everyone screamed, and my mom said, “Put it down, put it down!” Our brother was so scared that he dropped the mouse and screamed with us.

                            Later, he said he’d found the mouse in his bucket of soup, either drowned or killed by a neighborhood cat. We never found out for sure what had happened.

                            It wasn’t very funny at the time, but looking back I can’t help but laugh. xD

                            In the words of Jinto Queb, "Hurry, reading is fun!"

                            #109339
                            Annabelle
                            @annabelle
                              • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                              • Total Posts: 108

                              @daisy-torres

                              LOL, that is horrible! I can’t even imagine if that had happened to me… Although, I’ve had more embarrassing stories regarding me and my crush too.

                              In the words of Jinto Queb, "Hurry, reading is fun!"

                              #109377
                              Anatra
                              @anatra23
                                • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                                • Total Posts: 211

                                @faith-q

                                WOooOo Imma love this topic XD

                                I have a few, as it does indeed come from being slightly sheltered that one may say something not as innocent as they thought.

                                For example, I was texting this friend I had (not too long ago) and we were talking about life and stress and work stuff. And I asked if he was working all the weeknights. Innocent question, I know. And he was like “Uhgm, yes I do. Why do you ask?” with like, an eyebrow raising emoji.
                                I immediately backed off the subject.

                                As a second example of my previous statement, when I was around 12 my friend and I were chatting in dms and we were messing around, sending emoji’s and she sent the LM**O emoji. We the strict homeschooled Christian children. I asked her if she knew what it meant (as I was freaking out) she responded with an oblivious no. I asked her to google it and we mortified children scolded ourselves.

                                Then there was the time (a couple years ago) when my family and I went to the playground and a little girl asked me to push her on the swings. Just as I was abt to say yes, she apologized and then requested I ask my “daughter” to come play with her instead. I asked who she meant (clearly confused) and she pointed to my sister, who’s about a year younger than me, and insisted “Your daughter.”
                                I thought that was hilarious.

                                I babysit frequently for a specific family, and I was told this story by the mother of the child.
                                She(the mother) was picking up her kindergarten boy from school and as she was waving him over, a little girl about his age ran straight up to him, threw her arms around this boy and demanded “Oh Child’s full Name you hansom boy! Are you well?” the boy kinda pulled her off and he climbed into the car. As they were driving away he looked up at his mom, smirked and said “Yeah, they do that a lot.”
                                The confidence of this kid cracks me up.

                                I hope some of that helped!


                                @trahia-the-minstrel

                                Wonderful sense of humor your family shares XD


                                @power

                                Ah, that’s painful(for both stories).

                                #109380
                                Trahia the Minstrel
                                @trahia-the-minstrel
                                  • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                                  • Total Posts: 193

                                  @anatra23

                                  I once said something innocently that sounded like something completely else. I probably shouldn’t tell the whole story, but basically I was 13, all my adult siblings were in the room, and I said something that was meant to be encouraging but all of them took it in a more … *ahem* kind of way.

                                  One of my older brothers laughed so hard that he had to run to the sink to spit up his ice cream. My older sister was laughing so hard she was crying. And my eldest brother, who I’d been talking to and inadvertently made this joke to, just sat there and shook his head, looking mildly embarrassed and annoyed.

                                  I got all confused, and was like, ‘What? What’s funny? Why are you laughing? Why was what I said funny?’

                                  My eldest brother gave my brother with his head in the sink a look, and said, ‘Nothing. Don’t worry about it. [Sink Brother’s Name] is just being very immature.’

                                  ’But why was it funny?’ I persisted, as the others finally calmed down. ‘All I said was … [said it again]’

                                  And they lost it.

                                  Again.

                                  And every time since when I’ve reminded them of it.

                                  Sigh … the things we say when we’re young and innocent.😂

                                  The end of a story, a beautiful picture; a feeling of longing yet hope~
                                  That’s my wish to create.

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