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Hey everyone, I just wanted to know: what are some dramatic scenes you’ve written or at least thought up? Here’s one of mine. Most of the characters are mine, one (Kelvin) is my brother’s, and another is a character from somewhere else. The scene’s not from any specific story and it’s heavily influenced by a scene in a book I read, but I thought this was interesting enough to show all of you:
“Run, Feather!” someone said. Blue, maybe?
Feather was still, her mind going in twenty different directions at once. Her powers….her hunterclone flute….her other weapons…..her friends…..
“Come on, Feather.” A pair of arms grabbed her and lifted her into the air. She looked up to see she was being carried by Crosshair, his powerful wings keeping him flying even as he supported her weight as well as his own.
He wheeled around the battlefield once before setting down on the wall of an abandoned building. “We can meet the others here.” he hissed, taking out his rifle and sniping a few enemy soldiers before turning around to keep running. “Call Liberty or Hunter and tell them to–”
Crosshair suddenly froze in place. “What–” Feather said, than gasped, noticing the dagger buried in his stomach. Where had it come from?
The answer came quickly. Kelvin stalked out of the shadows. “I finally have you,” he snarled, and wrenched the knife deeper into the gray dragonman’s underbelly.
So, that’s not as good as it was in my head, but I tried to convey what me and my brother are always coming up with. Kelvin isn’t a villain, but he’s not really nice to the protagonists all the time either. I think you guys should finish the scene if you want…I’d like to see what you’d come up with! Other than that, I’d also like to see your own dramatic scenes.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
(copy-pastes a bunch of tags)
@not-so-secret-secret-assassin
@scripter-of-kingdoms @lewilliams @ribbonash @imwritehere1920 @beth-darlene @lydia-s @buildsbygideon @devastate-lasting @relia @iluvhim18 @jodi-maile @daisy-torres @godlyfantasy12 @jenwriter17 @lucy @millennium @kayleigh-idea @seekjustice @e-k-seaverAny of you interesting in fantasy writing, writing with siblings, or fanfiction characters combined with original storylines and characters?
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
@keilah-h Thanks for the tag! Yeah, most of the time I do fantasy. Nice scene! Very dramatic indeed.
*thinks for a very long time* Yeah, I really don’t remember or know what scenes I write are dramatic… Here’s a prologue from a short story that I’m working on, though:
“If you don’t tell me the information, lady, I’m afraid I’m going to have to shoot you dead.”
“Then you’ll have to pull the trigger, son. Because I’m not saying anything.”
“Then say goodbye.”
He raised the pistol, pointing it at the old woman kneeling on the floor. Papers and books were spilled all over the bamboo mat, and a small sliver of moonlight shined in through the curtains. He put his finger on the trigger, trying to keep his hand steady.
“Though, son, why are you crying? I thought I was the one who was supposed to be doing so.”
“Huh?” He touched a finger to his face, and realized that it was wet.
“It’s okay to cry.” The old woman’s voice was soft. “I just thought that bad people didn’t cry.”
A shot rang out in the dead of the night. As he left the house, one of his comrades clapped him on the shoulder.
“Good job, Lang. We’ll get you up there yet.”
“Yep.”
But still, he felt sick to his stomach.
Lately, it's been on my brain
Would you mind letting me know
If hours don't turn into daysoooo cool! I’ll share one if that’s okay! It’s my favorite dramatic scene still, even though I’ve written others… and I admit it makes me shiver, likely because I see everything I read in pictures, but it’s still… well decide for yourself. XD (Death Rams are my fantasy version of Raptors with extra-good senses and really nasty tempers and… yeah, nasty everything) sorry, this is a little long, but its the whole scene lol
“A giant Death Ram.” Kaunon whispered, almost shaking.
Sure enough, there was Vlenedor, fighting the Draka, and a dragon about half his size came running into the fight, slashing at the Stone Dragon. Vlenedor roared and shot fire at the pesky creature, but it was fast and shrieked angrily as it dodged the flames, a sound like a death cry went up from it and soon it was answered by many more calls.
Alinna gave a cry before Kaunon could stop her. “No!” she screamed.
The Death Ram cocked it’s head, and then snarled, turning and running towards them.
Alinna gasped, trembling. “What… have I done?”
“You just asked the Death Rams’ alpha to eat you!” Kaunon growled, “Now we’re in deep trouble. Let’s go.”
“Where?! They live in swamps! We’re in their favourable hunting environment, we’re sitting ducks!”
“Ducks…” Kaunon frowned and glanced up at the giant dragon stalking towards them; it was at least twenty feet tall, the spikes on its back like spines of a ragged ghost ship sail. It’s horns were massive and Kaunon wished he could show them to Faeda, but quickly dismissed that notion. “Ducks!” he shouted.
Alinna shrieked and spun around, “What?!”
“Ducks!” he repeated. Then looked at her apologetically, “You’ll need to fly, Linn.”
Alinna glared, “How many times do I have to save your hide…”
“I don’t know, but I’m thinking of you this time.”
“What? No! I’m not flying without you!”
“Well, I can’t fly, Linn. go on. I’ll distract it.”
“How?!”
Kaunon gave her a stern glare, “I said go, woman!”
Alinna gasped, “Kaunon Pennoron!”
“Go, now!” Kaunon thundered.
“No!” she cried indignantly. She may have loved Kaunon but she was still stubborn.
He bristled and glared at her, “if you don’t go I’m going to get angry, Linn. I told you to go!”
She held back tears, “But it’s no use if you die!”
“I’m more likely to die with you here.”
Alinna sighed, and took to the air, then she fumbled in her soaking wet pack and threw something at him, “Put this on!”
“What? No! This is yours!”
“I’m not leaving until you do!” Alinna said with a pouting snap.
Kaunon sighed and put on the Brenna armor. He soon disappeared as he put the mask on. Alinna shot up into the air and flew about thirty feet above, where she figured the Death Ram could not reach her.
She was mistaken.
The Death Ram saw her and snarled, baring its huge teeth and leaping into the air. She stifled a scream and flew higher, but the Death Ram snapped its jaw and caught her foot. She screamed as the animal yanked her downwards into the water, she hit it with a crushing smack and then kept from breathing in as the creature dragged her through the water. It lifted her out and she gasped for air, before it dropped her in again and dragged her back and forth, shaking her like a toy. She screamed, water filling her nose and almost choking her. Then the animal yanked her out of the water again, tossing her through the air, before turning with a growl back towards the fight.
Alinna screamed in terror as she went flying over the water, and then something caught her, and this time by her cloak. It shook her, too, and then dropped her down into the water again, shaking her and keeping her under the surface. She screamed again, her head throbbing and heart pounding. Then right when she thought she was going to pass out, she was dragged out of the water again and tossed.
Another thing caught her and she couldn’t see anything through her stinging eyes, but she guessed well enough what was happening. She was caught and shoved down into the water again right as she got a lungful of air. She writhed and struggled weakly as the thing held her down.
Then she went still.
duhn duuuuuuhn hehe
I suppose it’s a little cringy (and in first draft) but my favorite still!
I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title
@keilah-h I write fantasy!! Tho I’m still in my first draft there’s one scene I sorta like (at least the idea of it) that’s a bit Action-y
(Tho it begins at the end of one POV Chapter and finishes in another)
Arabella’s POV
“She said to take care of you myself.”
“She?” Ara whispered, wondering what he meant. But Arabella didn’t have time to get an answer to her question as Ridley approached, his eyes filled with malice. And Ara knew, if he got to her, his intention was to kill.
RingMaster may have been an accident, but her death wouldn’t be.
Something had snapped in Ridley, and it wasn’t good.
Arabella braced herself to fight or try to run, but wasn’t sure at all what to do. Stepping back, she found herself trapped within the circle of soldiers, and Ridley was getting closer. Surely she could fight him, but with the power surging around him, she wondered if she’d even get in a single punch before he strangled her, or whatever he was about to do.
“Say goodbye, Arabella.” He hissed, making her tingle. Reminding her of the snake from years past. Only a few feet away, Ridley put out his arms to grab her by the neck, but he never reached her.
Because without warning he was tackled to the ground by November, and before Ara could do anything, the two were fighting.
November’s POV
November wasn’t sure why he’d done it, or even how. He’d never been the kind of boy to get into fights, especially not with power-hungry murderers, but in that moment he felt more powerful then anything.
And it scared him.
But he had no time to care, because his feet were already moving and his body already impacting with Ridley’s knocking both boys to the ground. Blinded by adrenaline and rage, November threw his fists at the boy in every angle he could. But Ridley was strong, empowered by the medallion.
“LEAVE HER ALONE!” November cried, still throwing his fists while trying to dodge Ridley’s. The adrenaline, however, began to fade as November went on, until finally Ridley was able to roll him over and return the favor.
Pain sprouted from his temples and rushed through his head. Another burst of pain hit In his abdomen and another in his ribcage. He grunted, still fighting to get Ridley off, but it seemed no use. But, November had succeeded in one thing at least. He’d distracted him enough to get a good grip on the gold shining from the boy’s neck.
With a cry and a sharp yank, he ripped the medallion’s black band, leaving a red mark around Ridley’s neck. Ridley gasped, his eyes returning to their normal color and his skin paling. Still, it wasn’t enough to rid him of the rest of his strength. Not yet, anyway.
Ridley grabbed November’s wrist to get the medallion back, but he wasn’t about to let that happen, and the two fought until November was able to get away and stand to his feet. Unsure of what to do, November threw the medallion as hard and far as he could.
“NO!” Ridley cried, but the medallion was already out of sight. Dazed for only a second, Ridley turned his attention back to November, his eyes seething with hatred for this boy who had stripped him of his power. He growled, like the monster he was, and lunged for November again. November grunted and pushed him back, his head and body sore. Ridley yelled out in anger, but November quickly dodged his attacks, his wily speed finally coming in handy.
“November!” Ara cried, distracting him for a split second.
Which was plenty of time for Ridley, who plunged his fist into the boy’s stomach, knocking the wind out of him. November bent over, wheezing.
“Why. Are. You. Two,” Ridley spoke through his teeth, “SO. ANNOYING?”
Still out of breath, November couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “Guess you’re having a pretty bad day, huh?”
“Not as bad as yours is about to be.” Ridley narrowed his eyes, but stood still, not approaching the boy. Instead, someone else did the finishing job for him.
November cried out as what felt like knives pierced into the side of his face, causing one eye to close. The impact made him fall, and he felt his heart slow as if something had just been sucked out of him. He clasped his face, feeling blood trickle down from his left temple and eye. Pulling away his hand he found it spotted with blood, making him feel a bit faint.
A caw sounded through the air and November looked up in time to see a raven overhead, it’s talons stained with blood.
His blood.
And the bird didn’t seemed finished yet, as it descended to give another strike, and another after that, November held up his arms as the bird landed, pecking and clawing at his sleeves and ripping his skin, burning like fire.
It wasn’t your average scratches, that much November knew. Something was different about these. They seemed to affect him in more way then one, making his eyes go blurry and his breathing slow. He felt tired, weak. Weary.
His arms shook and then lowered, his strength sapped dry. He glanced up to see the raven had finally left, but now Ridley towered over him, with a knife in hand. He lifted it above his head, preparing the final strike.
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebI know it’s super long and not the best (first draft!! Lol!) but hey i still like it all things considered. Then again November is like…one of if not my fav character soooo
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebIf you wanna know what happens next I don’t mind sharing just let me know lol
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebSharing scenes on here actually make me realize they aren’t quite as horrid as I originally thought 🤣
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@godlyfantasy12 ooo whoa lots of suspense!! I’m curious. and hey, mine was long too, more suspense i suppose! XD
@devastate-lasting that scene made me so sad…
@keilah-h AHHH does this character die??? after all, wounds like that… oofI'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title
@elfwing Glad it made you feel something, heh. I’m quite excited for this short.
Lately, it's been on my brain
Would you mind letting me know
If hours don't turn into days@elfwing I’m planning to make him survive, but I don’t know how yet. I’ll post the rest of the scene later, but it mentions the rhythm of his dying heart putting her to sleep when she leans against his chest to rest after the battle…..I don’t want it to be a “she wakes up and he’s okay” kind of thing (like a deux ex machina thing, if I spelled that right–you know what I mean, right?), but I also don’t know if they get rescued by someone, or if her powers heal him (from what I got from my brother, who had the idea for her powers, she can’t do that, but I could always modify it), or if something else happens…..
@godlyfantasy12 Yours is cool! My stories are long too, don’t worry 😁. Just a question, why is he named November?@everyone else Your scenes are awesome! Keep it up!
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
Here’s another, longer dramatic scene. It’s a Warrior cats rendition of a scene in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker.
This winning streak didn’t last long. Two Sithcats came when a warrior defeated one. ResistanceClan was slowly becoming outnumbered.
“We’re not going to make it!” shouted an apprentice named Tycepaw.
“The ship’s here! Let’s go, the Star Destroyer is dead anyway!” yelled Rosethorn.
Beaumonttail’s head whipped up to see most of ResistanceClan retreating. He stayed at the front with Jayellepelt and a warrior named Larmastream. He didn’t see the Sithcat coming at him.
The Sithcat leaped with a furious claw slice, scrabbling at Beaumonttail’s head. The two warriors paced around each other.
Suddenly the Sithcat attacked. Beaumonttail wasn’t ready, and the enemy clawed him.
An agonizing pain swept through the right side of Beaumonttail’s face, especially his eye. The Sithcat had scored a hit.
Beaumonttail stumbled backward, closing his right eye as the world started to blur. I’ll die here, he thought. Away from my clan…..away from my family.
But just as the Sithcat was about to kill him, he saw a ginger-colored streak of fury rip at the Sithcat, clamping down on its neck. Beaumonttail looked up, trying to figure out the identity of the warrior who’d saved him. But it was pretty easy to figure out.
“Connixheart!” he shouted as she turned to face him.
“I told you I had your back,” she said, extending her paw to help him up. He gladly took it as she looked him over. “You’ve been shot,” she said. “And….Oh my goodness, what did he do to your face?”
“I don’t know,” Beaumonttail said. “And I don’t really want to know.”
Connixheart ripped a piece of fabric off of a dead Sithcat’s uniform and tied it around Beaumonttail’s head, covering his injured eye. She led him toward the starship they’d come on, alongside other stragglers. They leaped into the ship with barely a minute to spare.Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
@keilah-h ahhh i see, well the scenes are both cool! keep up the good work! 😉
I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title
@keilah-h ooo here is another dramatic scene I just remembered
Dorok smiled stiffly at the prince as Ayerna introduced him, but he wasn’t happy. He felt a nagging in his mind and a pit of apprehension in his gut; he didn’t like this man, and he wasn’t sure if it was because the spoiled snob seemed to be paying special attention to Ayerna, or if there was truly something off with him. Either way, Dorok didn’t like the way the prince was looking at Ayerna.
Ayerna smiled politely, but seemed fidgety, “-what did you say the name of your kingdom was again? I forgot.”
The prince smiled politely, “Oh, it’s a kingdom far in the north.”
“Answer the question.” Dorok said stiffly.
The prince looked at him with a venomous glare, “I do believe your servant is being rude, your highness.”
“I do believe the visiting prince is giving attitude to the future ruler of the great empire he is visiting.” Dorok dished back, “I am no servant of hers, I have sworn, with the king’s permission, to be her escort and personal guard, and protect her from unsavory characters, and I am a prince among the Bardans and the Easterners.”
“Are you talking about me, Bardan?” the prince asked in a condescending tone.
“I don’t know, am I, Barbarian?”
“Oh, I don’t believe I learned your name.” Ayerna cut in quickly. She saw the prince going for his longsword, and knew she had better divert disaster before it hit.
The prince did not let go of his sword hilt, but he looked over at Ayerna, “I am my own person, do I have to tell foreigners my name?”
“In our country, those unwilling to reveal who they are doing the same as saying blatantly that they are spies and assassins. Who are you?”
“I am a prince of the north.”
“Well that much is obvious, you aren’t from the south or the east, no one there would be so rude.” Dorok shot back, and Ayerna touched his arm gently, she was trying to keep two dragons apart, and didn’t want a war breaking out on her account.
I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title
@elfwing Cool! Yours has dragons too?
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
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