WIP First 3 Chapters

@nanisnook

First of all, I think that’s so brave of you to be posting your first three chapters!! 🙂 I know it can be scary to let other people see your work, and it’s totally normal to feel nervous about this (I know I did), but I would LOVE to read through your chapters!! I can already tell you’re such a talented writer. 😉 And I love fantasy and medieval-styled things as well!! I absolutely adore the name Ember’s Story because it sounds so interesting, and–Oops, I should stop rambling now, huh?

Anyways, I may not get to it before tomorrow (I’ll have much more time then), but I will read through the chapters and I most certainly will give you feedback on them!! Thank you for giving me the honor of reading it!! 🙂

@nanisnook

I’d love to read over it! I’ll try to write up a comment on it before the weekend! And like Jodi said, what exactly are you looking for critique on? Totally ok to literally just want any comments that come to our minds, but if you wanted historical accuracy, or more specific stuff, lemme know so I can read through with that in mind. :))

And super, super brave putting it out there, and being open to suggestions! I need to follow your example lol

Hi @nanisnook! I finished reading your chapters and wrote up some of my thoughts:

I really liked your chapters. Ember is a likable main character and her brother is also likable! I did feel a bit like the chapters went by pretty quickly with a lot of action (which was nicely done, by the way!) but not quite as many internal moments to pause and reflect on what was going on and why certain things were happening the way they were. In my opinion, seeing a bit more of Ember’s normal life, her conflicts with her family, and her motive behind her goals to leave her town in the first chapter/s could potentially help the reader connect with her even more and make her even more sympathetic 🙂

I really liked the way you dropped details about world building that made the setting feel real and lived-in. I also enjoyed the detail you put into the backstories of some of the items that the characters interacted with (the table her father built and her dagger).

The quick pace of these first chapters was nice! At times, I felt myself wanting to slow down just a bit to get a little more information about the war. I was a tad confused about what was happening there, why there was a war, what the enemy wanted, etc. Of course, these are all things that could be explored in further detail later in the story, but I felt like if a little more explanation about the war was given, the arrival of the Krutuns might feel even more impactful and terrifying for the reader and characters alike at the end of the third chapter.

All these things are my own opinion, of course. I really liked the story and I wanted it to continue when I finished the third chapter! I need to know what happens to Ember and her family! I’d love to read more of your writing in the future.

@nanisnook

Of course, and thank you so much for letting me read your story! I had a lot of fun and I think your chapters are off to a great start! 🙂

@nanisnook,

Your writing is really, really good! I enjoyed the fast pace. Ember and her brother are certainly very likeable, and the first person perspective is very clear. But I think I agree with @jodi-maile. You may need to pause a bit more a reflect on what’s going on in Ember’s head instead of focusing entirely on external things. Besides that, it was really, really good! (Sorry, I just realized I said that at the beginning… oh well. Your writing is really, really good :))