Rosey Mucklestone

@aislinn-mollisong  *facedesk*

@aislinn-millisong  I will do her!

@sage-g  *gasps*  You are really talented.  She looks great!!!!! 🙂  And thank you.

@dekreel This topic is two years old, back when Sarah was still with us.

@aislinn-mollisong

Honestly, from what I’ve seen, it seems better to not directly describe the moves a character is doing in a fight scene, and instead focus on the emotion and feel of it. Allow me to demonstrate:

Original – “John executed a perfect overhand cut, which Xavier quickly blocked with a hanging point.”

And yes, I did just pull two…[Read more]

@supermonkey42 Can’t remember exactly. It was either lack of involvement or I didn’t have enough time.

@Daeus Yay! *lemonade and cheesecake for all*

I definitely prefer “Awestruck to see that in dark the lights dance”.

Oh, one more question. Do you prefer the ending lines:

“Awestruck to see that in dark the lights dance”

or

“Awestruck to see that in night the lights dance”

???

Thanks everyone! @emma-flournoy @ariella-newheart @rochellaine

I think I’ve got it now. I’ll come back to this a few months from now to see if I can make any small improvements, but I think it’s generally solid. 😀

@skredder  Hopefully her hair is how you imagined it…and I wasn’t sure about her eyes so I just did brown.  🙂

And closer…

@skredder  I may try her today or tomorrow…maybe.  🙂

@Daeus

‘Most comely he smiled’ is better

And little Teedletiden he fashioned for the trees
For all of these a city, Letharill, he made
Its glory was established that it should never fade[ I’m unsure about the meter in these last three lines, especially lines 1 and 3.]

Maybe instead: ‘And little Teedletiden he fashioned for trees

For all t…[Read more]

@warrioroftherealm *salutes* Awesome!

@christianna-hellwig @rochellaine @emma-flournoy @that_writer_girl_99

Thanks so much for your suggestions, everyone! Here’s what I have now.

“Oh, stars that remember the firstthings forgotten
How earth and its peoples were early begotten
They looked and beheld through a pane of dark glass
The earth in a swirling, untamable mass
From darkness f…[Read more]

@daeus

Well done sir. The style and feel is very reminiscent of Tolkien (in a good way). #Silmarillion

One of the highlights of my afternoon!

Jackson E. Graham

http://jacksonegraham.wixsite.com/jackson-e-graham

@christianna-hellwig Thanks so much! I’ll take a look over this as soon as I get a chance.

Whoops @introvert_girl

@dekreel  Oh okay!  Hmmm…I’m not sure that sounds very feminine.

@introvert-girl  Persephone!!!!  YAS.  🙂

@emma-flournoy Ha! Well, we’ll see. I’d certainly love to.