@trailblazer
Active 6 months, 2 weeks ago- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
- Total Posts: 758
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-GRCR- replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 years, 2 months ago
Awwwwww, that is so cute!! I like how you’re connecting the families in this chapter.
“Hi!” she smiled at him. “Do you want to be friends? Look at my drawing! My name’s Sef, what’s your name?”
The boy sat down next to her. “What is it?” he tilted his head to the side, staring at the drawing.
Sef was offended. How c…
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SLAYING SARAAAA ✨✨ replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 years, 2 months ago
DROPPING THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!
Just so you know, it’s not edited…heh…heh…
so just bear with me XD
Tags: @jonas @grcr @esther-c @highscribeofaetherium @ellette-giselle @rae @and-my-brain-stopped-working
“Please! Someone help me!” Neveah gasped for breath, frantically scanning the crowds for a familiar face.
Where could Sef have gon…
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SLAYING SARAAAA ✨✨ replied to the topic The Chat Chat in the forum General Writing Discussions 2 years, 2 months ago
I mean like I’m one to talk… XD
I’m surprised no one’s called the Character Exploitation Hotline on me yet…
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freedom replied to the topic The Chat Chat in the forum General Writing Discussions 2 years, 2 months ago
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SLAYING SARAAAA ✨✨ replied to the topic WIP: (A.D. 60. Two friends in Ancient Rome.) Questions in the forum Historical 2 years, 2 months ago
Chapter four was really smooth and was a lot easier to follow! I don’t have hardly any comments.
Except maybe one thing…maybe give more detail about why Julius is so mad that Marcus is missing. It just kind of shows Julius “throwing a fit” for no apparent reason. Maybe show us his thoughts about why is is scared/angry and…[Read more]
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SLAYING SARAAAA ✨✨ replied to the topic WIP: (A.D. 60. Two friends in Ancient Rome.) Questions in the forum Historical 2 years, 2 months ago
I am so sorry…I just can’t keep up with the ammount of chapters you write
That’s insane XD XD
I will try to go over chapter 3/4 soon, I forgot where I left off!!
But about the plot, I was just wondering what your storyline looked like.
I was concerned that you might not have enough plot for a full novel, but since it’s a…[Read more]
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freedom replied to the topic The Chat Chat in the forum General Writing Discussions 2 years, 2 months ago
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freedom replied to the topic The Chat Chat in the forum General Writing Discussions 2 years, 2 months ago
@estelle-giselle Yes, exactly what Rae said!!🥰 Plus, we’re all chill here. we barge into each other’s conversations all the time; it’s alright😂 I’ve been on KP for 2 years (technically; I deleted my account a few months back and created a new one after taking a very short break (and apparently breaking everyone, whooopsssssss))
and the person…[Read more]
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SLAYING SARAAAA ✨✨ replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 years, 2 months ago
Okay, that explanation works. However, this being the first chapter and all, readers will assume that that is just an innate characteristic of Paynes. Furthermore, Kratos shouldn’t expect the smell, and you might want to make him remark to himself about it.
Okay good point XD XD
Unless… How do you want the other Andromedan races to come acr…
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-GRCR- and
Ellette Giselle are now friends 2 years, 2 months ago -
SLAYING SARAAAA ✨✨ replied to the topic The Chat Chat in the forum General Writing Discussions 2 years, 2 months ago
WHYYY
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SLAYING SARAAAA ✨✨ replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 years, 2 months ago
Thank you for everything Whaley!! This means a lot <3
Both ways work well!! Whatever makes more sense to you; I’m just throwing random ideas to help you brainstorm
Ohhhh gotcha! Thanks XD
I think what Jonas was mentioning (please correct me if I’m wrong!) is before, there was some moral grayness and room for human variation, esp…
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freedom replied to the topic The Chat Chat in the forum General Writing Discussions 2 years, 2 months ago
@keilah-h He’s needed counseling since he was a teenager🫠
and I’M SORRY. At least Leon is at the start of his redemption.
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freedom replied to the topic The Chat Chat in the forum General Writing Discussions 2 years, 2 months ago
@acancello Hiiiii girlie!!! *hugs* 💖💖
Totally understand; you do what God has called you to do <3 And Happy Birthday!!!! And yessss, ughhhhhh, the humidity down here in the South is horrid🥵🔥
and I’m doing well! ‘Broken Shackles’, the sequel to ‘Freedom’s Fire’, is almost at 55k words, and mostly going smoothly!! Riker is breaking my heart, but…[Read more]
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freedom replied to the topic Art Sharing For All 🙂 in the forum Art 2 years, 2 months ago
@rae that looks amazing!!!
and yes, I would love to hear it 💖
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freedom replied to the topic The Chat Chat in the forum General Writing Discussions 2 years, 2 months ago
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freedom replied to the topic The Chat Chat in the forum General Writing Discussions 2 years, 2 months ago
@savannah_grace2009 @rae @mineralizedwritings @keilah-h @koshka @ellette_giselle @anyone-else
Anyone want a Riker scene? 👀
Fair warning…Riker is about to plunge into another dark place, and is about to separate himself from everyone that has ever loved him, until he literally comes to the end of himself, and thus this scene may cause some…[Read more]
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SLAYING SARAAAA ✨✨ replied to the topic How dark is too dark? in the forum General Writing Discussions 2 years, 2 months ago
Well…look at my novel!
It has several dark elements, like child abuse, child neglect/abandonment, murder, evil guys running the world, hatred, prison camps, etc.
But the reason these elements are in my story is because my story is an allegory about Light and Darkness, good and evil!
I think your story is fine (unless you’re…[Read more]
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SLAYING SARAAAA ✨✨ replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 years, 2 months ago
The greatest enjoyment I got from the prologue was the twist from ‘we’re doing this to save the baby’ to ‘what’s this baby doing here?’ That was great.
Really?!?! That’s awesome…I guess I’m keeping it now XD XD
You should think about how strong of an allegory you want. Once you say Jesus, all readers will know this is a Christian a…
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SLAYING SARAAAA ✨✨ replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 2 years, 2 months ago
Wow…this is a lot to think about and really helpful! Thank you!!
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it as it is, it really evokes a certain mood, and has really strong imagery.
Okay good XD
Yeah, the first line of the book is always the hardest because that’s how the readers decide whether or not to keep reading!
These three par…
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