Trailblazer

@savannah_grace2009

Awwwwww, that is so cute!! I like how you’re connecting the families in this chapter.

“Hi!” she smiled at him. “Do you want to be friends? Look at my drawing! My name’s Sef, what’s your name?”

The boy sat down next to her. “What is it?” he tilted his head to the side, staring at the drawing.

Sef was offended. How c…

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DROPPING THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!

Just so you know, it’s not edited…heh…heh…

so just bear with me XD

Tags: @jonas @grcr @esther-c @highscribeofaetherium @ellette-giselle @rae @and-my-brain-stopped-working

“Please! Someone help me!” Neveah gasped for breath, frantically scanning the crowds for a familiar face.

Where could Sef have gon…

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@freed_and_redeemed

I mean like I’m one to talk… XD

I’m surprised no one’s called the Character Exploitation Hotline on me yet…

@savannah_grace2009

WHYYY

Heh

Heh

Hehhhhhhh

@rae

*offers several boxes of tissues*

@ellette-giselle

Chapter four was really smooth and was a lot easier to follow! I don’t have hardly any comments.

Except maybe one thing…maybe give more detail about why Julius is so mad that Marcus is missing. It just kind of shows Julius “throwing a fit” for no apparent reason. Maybe show us his thoughts about why is is scared/angry and…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I am so sorry…I just can’t keep up with the ammount of chapters you write

That’s insane XD XD

I will try to go over chapter 3/4 soon, I forgot where I left off!!

But about the plot, I was just wondering what your storyline looked like.

I was concerned that you might not have enough plot for a full novel, but since it’s a…[Read more]

I can never get your tag right apparently 🤦🏻‍♀️

@ellette-giselle

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

@estelle-giselle Yes, exactly what Rae said!!🥰 Plus, we’re all chill here. we barge into each other’s conversations all the time; it’s alright😂 I’ve been on KP for 2 years (technically; I deleted my account a few months back and created a new one after taking a very short break (and apparently breaking everyone, whooopsssssss))

and the person…[Read more]

@jonas

Okay, that explanation works. However, this being the first chapter and all, readers will assume that that is just an innate characteristic of Paynes. Furthermore, Kratos shouldn’t expect the smell, and you might want to make him remark to himself about it.

Okay good point XD XD

Unless… How do you want the other Andromedan races to come acr…

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@freed_and_redeemed

WHYYY

@whalekeeper

Thank you for everything Whaley!! This means a lot <3

Both ways work well!! Whatever makes more sense to you; I’m just throwing random ideas to help you brainstorm

Ohhhh gotcha! Thanks XD

I think what Jonas was mentioning (please correct me if I’m wrong!) is before, there was some moral grayness and room for human variation, esp…

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@keilah-h He’s needed counseling since he was a teenager🫠

and I’M SORRY. At least Leon is at the start of his redemption.

@acancello Hiiiii girlie!!! *hugs* 💖💖

Totally understand; you do what God has called you to do <3 And Happy Birthday!!!! And yessss, ughhhhhh, the humidity down here in the South is horrid🥵🔥

and I’m doing well! ‘Broken Shackles’, the sequel to ‘Freedom’s Fire’, is almost at 55k words, and mostly going smoothly!! Riker is breaking my heart, but…[Read more]

@rae that looks amazing!!!

and yes, I would love to hear it 💖

@ellette-giselle

@savannah_grace2009 @rae @mineralizedwritings @keilah-h @koshka @ellette_giselle @anyone-else

Anyone want a Riker scene? 👀

Fair warning…Riker is about to plunge into another dark place, and is about to separate himself from everyone that has ever loved him, until he literally comes to the end of himself, and thus this scene may cause some…[Read more]

@theshadow

Well…look at my novel!

It has several dark elements, like child abuse, child neglect/abandonment, murder, evil guys running the world, hatred, prison camps, etc.

But the reason these elements are in my story is because my story is an allegory about Light and Darkness, good and evil!

I think your story is fine (unless you’re…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

The greatest enjoyment I got from the prologue was the twist from ‘we’re doing this to save the baby’ to ‘what’s this baby doing here?’ That was great.

Really?!?! That’s awesome…I guess I’m keeping it now XD XD

You should think about how strong of an allegory you want. Once you say Jesus, all readers will know this is a Christian a…

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@jonas

Wow…this is a lot to think about and really helpful! Thank you!!

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it as it is, it really evokes a certain mood, and has really strong imagery.

Okay good XD

Yeah, the first line of the book is always the hardest because that’s how the readers decide whether or not to keep reading!

These three par…

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