TheShadow

@trailblazer

Yeah that’s basically what happened xD

glad I’m not the only one!

@ellette-giselle

Yeah…I bet you two will get along just fine XDXDXD

@trailblazer

Ok I love what savannah_grace2009 just said about doing the whole colosseum scene first- that makes a lot of sense!

*sighs in relief* Okay because I was panicking after I posted and then you posted that you really liked the fountain scene…I felt sooo bad lol

Yeah, I overthink a lot xD

As far as the fountain scene, I think you could…

[Read more]

@trailblazer

Awesome!! I’m glad you like the new beginning!

I should have chapter two out here in a few.

Oh good idea. I’ll do that with the thought thing.

@highscribeofaetherium

It was really weird for like ten minutes, now it’s normal…😐

@elette-giselle
Okay…so I’m going to attempt to give my thoughts.
Just so you know…I haven’t been writing for THAT long…so take everything with a grain of salt…
I just feel bad giving feedback for some reason xD

First…your revisions did help a lot (I read both the first draft and second rewrite).
But the new opening scene felt a…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Ooo!!! I like Freedom already!!! I love really sad scenes and doing bad things to characters. It’s all for a purpose of course, and it needs to be done. But…… it’s also fun to watch readers cry. lol.

Is it just me or did KP glitch out???? Like everything looks SUPER WEIRD

@ellette-giselle

I haven’t come across anything with Leon, Riker, sand Hans that people died in. am I missing something?

Leon, Riker, and Hans are Freedom’s characters from her novels. She posts really, really, really sad scenes from her books in the forums (usually The Chat Chat) that make @rae cry…(actually they make a lot of us cry :/)

YES T…[Read more]

@trailblazer

Ok, thanks! Haha, maybe my brothers and their friends are more wild, but it’s younger or older brother annoying each other around here. lol.

What did you think of the rewrite? was that better? I tried to make a few things a little clearer and also add some action in the beginning. If you still think it doesn’t build enough action…[Read more]

OK, I went ahead and rewrote some stuff in the first chapter. is this better? (I put the new stuff in bold so y’all don’t have to read the whole chapter over again.)

 
Chapter 1
Julius ducked a blow aimed for his head. He jumped back a step as his opponent quickly followed up the swipe with a thrust toward his chest. The enemy stumbled slightly…[Read more]

@trailblazer

Yes. All the blog posts. sorry for the confusion. lol.

YAY!!! I thought I’d give that a shot and see if that was what y’all meant for me to do. Now that i see it was and how easy it is I bet y’all were laughing because I was making it so over complicated. lol.

WOW!! Thank you all! This is so helpful!

OK, I’ll mention the thing about the gods first. So, in the time of Nero things were starting to slip. There were many, many slaves who had come from wars, and a lot of their religion, or lack thereof, had started to rub off. There were several emperors after Nero who wanted to “reclaim the glory of…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

Yes, even all the “cringy posts” Which I actually didn’t find a tone of “cringy” ones. I was reading stuff back from 2010 or 2011, depending on when Kingdom Pen started. I actually fell for whoever’s April fools joke it was to say that Kingdom Pen was closing down!! I was reading and it was saying that this had been closed…[Read more]

@rae

Chase is so adorable <3

I am officially a member of the Chase protection squad.

Sef

She laughed. “Thank you,” she said to the bird, lightly stroking it with her finger.

@savannah_grace2009

Chase

Chase slowly nodded. “O-okay.” After a couple minutes, he lifted his head out of his hands, and stared curiously at Sef’s shoulder. “L-little b-bird like your har, hair.” In the shadow of her hair, the bright-colored bird pruned himself, before settling down as if going to rest. “Y-you’re s-safe place.”

@freed_and_redeemed

You also cause a certain girl over here to worry about Riker for way longer than she should…btw, he, Leon and Hans need a chocolate chip cookie.

You also made me cry when I heard Hans actually did die…without redemption.

And I was really sympathizing and connecting with Leon in the scene when Isabel got sick…him…[Read more]

@rae

Sef

“We don’t have to talk about it anymore right now,” she said, sensing he was overwhelmed. “But if you ever want to talk about any of that stuff, I’m here.”

@savannah_grace2009

Chase

Chase looked again into her eyes, his own’s color slowly fading away to a grey-green. “O-Okay,” he finally answered, letting out a breath. To be honest, he wasn’t sure exactly what to think of a good father. The only man who he had ever trusted was Dr. Beren. Chase suddenly leaned forward, laying his head gently in his hands.