TheShadow

@keilah-h

do you have a picture of Tenz? A drawing, faceclaim picture, anything?

You DO NOT want to see me previous drawing attempts. They were just creepy. I don’t really have anything else though…I’ll try drawing a picture that’s actually good for once.

Sorry, guys, our internet was out for a while cuz of a storm.

@highscribeofaetherium

Uh…stars, that’s weirdly stated. Sorry, it basically means the triangle scale is at an angle.

@ellette-giselle

Yeah. He may or may not have a slightly longer torso than average. Since I haven’t made that official yet, I omitted it from description.

@ellette-giselle

I do have one question.

What is the plot of your story (feel free to share spoilers, I don’t mind)?

How long is your novel going to be?

I have one more chapter after this one that is ready for critiques, and then I have to continue working on revisions until it’s ready for more detailed critiques.

@ellette-giselle

Yes, I do!  (I have about 36K words) However, I’m in the middle of a big  revision, so the chapters won’t really make sense. Though I do have the next chapter that I *think* should be done.

Chapter 1

Strong hands grabbed her shoulders, trying to rip her away.

But Sef wouldn’t let go.

Eyes scrunched shut, tears leaking fro…[Read more]

What outer plot is your protagonist/s dealing with?

*casually looks up what an outer plot is* I really need to learn more writing terms!! 😬😬😬

If you were plopped into your project’s universe, would the characters love you or hate you? Why?

I honestly don’t know! They probably wouldn’t even notice me…I tend to think of myself as annoying X…[Read more]

@rae

So I’m guessing Tenz looks like a normal-ish human. I mean, same form?

@linus-smallprin

Thanks so much for the heads up! I’ll take a look! That sounds like fun!

@savannah_grace2009

Do you have any more besides the prologue written? I would love to read more and give some feedback?

@ellette-giselle

Yeah, maybe take Puddleglum *clears throat* I mean, that other writing coach, with a grain of salt. Scratch that, maybe a pillar of salt. lol.

🤣

 However, I will say that there is something to be learned from everyone. So, try to see the gold in the sand on what he’s saying. It might be something about dialogue, or description, or…

[Read more]

@jonas

I have mostly positive things to say actually lol! The way I phrased that did sound a bit scary, sorry!

You’re good…I also tend to overthink a lot and assume the worst in situations 😂

I’m excited to hear your thoughts!

@savannah_grace2009

Oh no worries!!! Whenever you get the chance!

@ellette-giselle

I don’t have time right now to look through all your new stuff, but I will get to it eventually!

and here’s Chapter 5.

I hope I’m not swamping Y’all!

 
Chapter 5
“In the beginning, Marcus, there was nothing,” began Caius. “God, created the heavens and the earth, and all that lies in between. Then, he fashioned the first man and breathed the breath of life into him. For the man, he made a helper; the first woman. Together they lived in a bea…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Thanks for the encouragement. I still feel like running back to the safety of fiction, but I am determined to stick this one out.

Can’t wait to hear your thoughts on Chapter 4.

I almost have chapter five done too. I’m starting to slide into my writing roll. lol.

@savannah_grace2009

I think it has a really good start! I just can’t wait to see where it’s going.

Yeah, maybe take Puddleglum *clears throat* I mean, that other writing coach, with a grain of salt. Scratch that, maybe a pillar of salt. lol. However, I will say that there is something to be learned from everyone. So, try to see the gold in the…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Oh I love what you did in the example. Perfect. I get so caught up in making sure the info that is needed is there, that I think I lost a little depth with the story. Whoops. I haven’t ever done Historical fiction before, so I’m a little stressed about keeping things accurate to history. I am surrounded by books on Rome , rom…

[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium @ellette-giselle

Yeah…oops!

I fixed that in the platform I write on (it’s called Reedsy), thank you for catching that!

@ellette

The reason that I accidently changed that to Selena is because I changed that section a LOT. I just came up with the idea to have their names be changed recently, because when you turn to…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

For some reason your comment didn’t load until just now! (I love bad internet. lol) Anyways, thank you so much for the feedback!!

Good, I’m glad I was able to incorporate some of your suggestions in that one!

Oh I love what you did in the example. Perfect. I get so caught up in making sure the info that is needed is there,…[Read more]

Aaaaand here’s chapter 4!!

 
Chapter 4
Julius paced back and forth near the window overlooking the street. Where is he? Why did he leave like that? What has gotten into him? “Curse that wretched Lucius!”

Julius slammed his fist against his palm several times. He spun on his heal and stalked down into the dining room. The slave girl who had giv…[Read more]