TheShadow

@theshadow

Well…look at my novel!

It has several dark elements, like child abuse, child neglect/abandonment, murder, evil guys running the world, hatred, prison camps, etc.

But the reason these elements are in my story is because my story is an allegory about Light and Darkness, good and evil!

I think your story is fine (unless you’re…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

The greatest enjoyment I got from the prologue was the twist from ‘we’re doing this to save the baby’ to ‘what’s this baby doing here?’ That was great.

Really?!?! That’s awesome…I guess I’m keeping it now XD XD

You should think about how strong of an allegory you want. Once you say Jesus, all readers will know this is a Christian a…

[Read more]

@jonas

Wow…this is a lot to think about and really helpful! Thank you!!

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it as it is, it really evokes a certain mood, and has really strong imagery.

Okay good XD

Yeah, the first line of the book is always the hardest because that’s how the readers decide whether or not to keep reading!

These three par…

[Read more]

@anybody

Challenge ideas: (plz help me add to this list)

1. Write as many words as you can in one hour.
2. Write a short story a day for one week
3. Try to write a short story/snippet in the style of your favorite author(s)
4. Try to edit double the number of chapters you usually do in one day.

Update
I’M DONE!!!!!!
It’s not exact, but I am proud to announce I finished around 12 hours of writing! I wrote somewhere around 9000 words, but after going through and editing sections, I was left with only about 8700 words of progress. Not as far as I hoped, but that’s still about nine days of work for me in one day!

I’m thinking about making…[Read more]

@theshadow

Ok, my essential thoughts: this is a dark world. I mean man, it’s dark, depraved, sick, evil, black, and desperate. it is ONLY because of God that there is any hope at all. I tend to write about a lot of dark stuff, i.e. persecution of the Christians in the roman times, child brainwashing in dystopian era, outlawing of Christianity,…[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium Oh I haven’t heard that one p. I’ll have to listen to it later.
Umm I really like Hey, Runner!, Envy Green, and Blue Eyed Girl

@whalekeeper Nice pfp :]

Teleportation was the only part of Seb’s powers I felt like I understood, lol. What did he just do to Caly’s characters? I’m not sure I completely followed.

Lois 

He hesitated, fiddling with a pencil in one hand.

“…Sure,” he said finally.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. After art class is done?”

“Sounds good.”

“Thanks, Marce…[Read more]

Aaand chapter ten. Now i gotta go! Enjoy!

 
Chapter 10
“God take my life
I offer myself to you now
And I shall everyday
Cherish your name

God, you use my hands
To help the people
And you use my feet
So that I may bring your words
God, you use my voice
So that I may praise you all the time
And you use my mouth
So that I may tell your words

You…[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium Yes! I love their music! Do you have a favorite song?

@theshadow

Note: There is no description in this one of the courtyard because the description would be in the chapter before.

 
Chapter 9
Julius pulled his cloak closer. It was nearing the end of summer, and the night air had a decided chill. It would be curfew soon, and Julius would have to hurry. He slipped through the gate and began his…[Read more]

@theshadow

The last scene was sooo cute, I liked it a lot! Also Julius’ internal dialogue and conflict was good.

I’m so glad. I pride myself with pulling off good wedding scenes. Good! I’m glad Julius’ internal struggle was good!

Ignatius, if you lay a finger on Marcus, it’s not ending well for you!

are you threatening my character? Isn’t Ign…[Read more]

Goodness! Cloaked Mystery is ON IT! It helps that there is more background to work off of knowing the other version of the story, but man! This is like professional editing! AWESOME JOB!

@theshadow

so, besides that, how was the chapter?

@trailblazer

Also, here’s the part you were jumping ahead on Trailblazer. Great minds think alike in the writing world I guess. lol.

@theshadow Note: Flavia is under developed as we discussed, and I plan on adding more about her in chapter 7

 
Chapter 8
Julius leaned his shoulder against the side of the window. He stared out into the garden below, thinking of all the days he and Marcus had spent there. They had grown up together, and had been friends from the day they met. The…[Read more]

@theshadow

Ack, I thought you would say that. I’ve been thinking also of a way to develop a bit more with her. I’m kinda distracted with the other stuff going on and thought I would drop it for now and come back. after all, this is my very rough draft. But yes, she is under developed.

@trailblazer

And lastly, this is just an idea that popped…

[Read more]

@rae

I’ll be praying!!! Man, you are in serious trouble…. try some chocolate.

@theshadow

Yes, please send them on the WIP!!! I can’t wait!! I’m so glad you liked it!

Update
It’s now about 9:40, and I am beginning to regret this. I’m hitting some writer’s block and stuff. I already ended up breaking one of my own rules half by accident and half on purpose. I ate breakfast at 8:30 abouts, and took a break because my eyes were hurting from the computer screen (and the the hrs sleep started to kick in and I don’t…[Read more]

@theshadow

no edits or critiques for that one?

@theshadow

You have no idea how happy that makes me to know that someone is looking forward to reading more of the story!!!