TheShadow

@ellette-giselle

Thank you so much!!! haha, I’m glad you liked that.

Your welcome!

Most times I write funny things and then wait in anticipation for the reader rto laugh. They look at me and are like “what? what am I supposed to laugh about?”

That’s the worst, I can definitely relate to that XD

@rae

That looks really good! Great job!!

Also I would be interested in hearing it too.

@rae

I’m in, this sounds great!

@ellette-giselle

“I don’t think so. Apparently, I’m still here,” replied Marcus, dryly.

I love this 😂

Okay, chapter 4, 5, and 6 were all good, although I think there could be some more body language (such as in chapter 6).

Also, in chapter 6, you could have Julius have his thoughts of grief conflicting with his angry thoughts, his angry thought…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Okay, just read the first and second chapter, and they were awesome!! As I was reading it, I was curious to learn more about the world and the backgrounds of each character. This already feels like a book I would love to read and learn more about the story, characters, world, etc. The theme/moral for the story is great too.…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Nice to meet you, thank for the introduction!

I’m Shadow, and besides writing, I love to draw, bake, sew, embroider, read, and go for hikes (I love cats). Congrats on finishing your first year of high school, I hope it went well!!

Yeah…I kinda got a little lazy with my descriptions XD I will work on that!!!

I feel that XD

@savannah_grace2009

Alright, sorry this is late, but the prologue was really good! I found it intriguing, and after I finished it, I wanted to read more. The only thing was that the room that the Pythanos is sitting in could be described a bit more (like specifically what it looks like). The description of the atmosphere was great though.

@ellette-giselle

Looks like I’m a bit behind, chapter 4 was good and any critiques I had of it Savannah and Trailblazer mentioned (you guys are great at critiquing btw). I will read over chapter 5 soon, probably once I get home from a trip.

@ellette-giselle

Thanks for the offer, I’ll probably put in a character once I get home this weekend.

@whalekeeper

Thanks for the tag, I’ll probably answer the old questions tomorrow if that’s okay.

@ellette-giselle

No way!! I did not do that twice in a row! So sorry! haha! I normally catch that when I read back through it. thanks for pointing it out.

Of course! I have done that too when I can’t think of any other words to substitute for said, XD.

Oh, I’m glad the thing about Ignatius makes sense! No worries about not remembering!

Oh ok tha…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

As I mentioned in the first chapter, they are the elite soldiers, and in this time it was actually one of their jobs to hunt down the Christians and discover their hiding places, their beliefs, and what they were up to. So, he would know a lot.

Ohh okay, that makes a lot of sense now. I probably should have remembered that 😅

I…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I always find my first chapter the roughest.

Same, first chapters are hard.

I liked the second chapter, Marcus’ struggle is interesting. One thing though is that there are a lot of adverbs, and I think you could show a bit more body language to communicate how a character is coming off as (you don’t have to get rid of every sin…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Apparently my thing didn’t post (gee, thanks Wyoh) but I think changing the fountain scene like Trailblazer and Savannah said sounds good. I thought the scene was fun though.

Oh NO!! I did! That’s awfull!!! That is so, so bad!! Ahhh!! (Maybe I overreacted, but that is a REAL pet peeve of mine!) Thank you for catching tha…

[Read more]

@keilah-h @grcr

Your welcome!

@rae

Ooh, Tenz sounds interesting, he should be fun to draw!

@ellette-giselle

So far, I was interested in what was happening in the book and what would happen next. Here are a few things I noticed though:

When you explained the setting and time, I think it could be done as maybe a prologue or background before the book begins (like in an “intro” or “a note to the reader” type of thing).

I noticed also th…[Read more]

@stephie

Thank you, and I’ll put in a suggestion soon!

@highscribeofaetherium

Thanks!

@linus-smallprint

Thank you, and this challenge was super fun, it really helped with over coming my drawing block (also I think how I replicated the feet is because I’m a bit of a perfectionist lol).

@keilah-h @grcr @loopylin

All of your drawings were great, and congrats Loopylin!!

@linus-smallprint

Alright, sorry this took so long and that the paper is smudged, but here’s my drawing of Charles:

@stephie

Hello! I think it’s really cool you guys have a book club going on and was wondering if I could participate in the next book discussion (whatever it is).