The Bean

@That_Writer_Girl_99 ooooohhhh… you know what? It looks like you’ve got really good potential here for a disillusionment story. I really, really love the idea of the world outside being even worse than the prison.
What do you know about theme/message and building your story around it?
Because if you do have the world outside be worse than the…[Read more]

@That_Writer_Girl_99 no, I know. It isn’t. 😛 Have you come up with any ideas so far? Need help brainstorming? Seriously, just dump them all right here and I’ll help you pick through them if I can. That’s what we do here. We’re all writers after all… 😉 Even if you think the ideas are dumb, please— share them. I have dumb ideas all the time.…[Read more]

@That_Writer_Girl_99

Wow.
Okay, first of all, may I just say congratulations on the very strong character voice. Most people go for the snazzy voices of characters like Tam to carry their story if it’s first person, but I love the subtle yet very distinct tone of Kara’s. It’s beautiful.

In fact, your prose itself is actually very strong, and I…[Read more]

@That_Writer_Girl_99 I totally get that. You’ll be fine. I promise. 😉 Tag me when you do post and I’ll get back to you with opinions as soon as I’ve done a thorough read through. 🙂

@That_Writer_Girl_99 ha. XD Not at all…

@That_Writer_Girl_99 *salutes* reporting for duty! And really, we’re not monsters. 😀 Just start a new topic over in General Writing Discussions or something and we’ll have a nice little critiquing party with cake and brownies and punch for everyone. 😀 (Virtual, of course. *wink*)

@Daeus yessir. I stopped doing this wonderful thing once I approached (aka got within ten chapters of :’D) the climax and started really having to rethink you-know-who. My typical writing night was too messy to have too much competition or I would have imploded from the double pressure. 😛 Once I get past the chapter I’m on (wherein about eight…[Read more]

@f5a8c3e92 YES. Much better. *thumbs up* Notice how the details ground you.
And I think it would be really cool for that to be part of Maya’s dream. Go for it. 😀

@Christi-Eaton thanks. 😉

@f5a8c3e92 I like this.
*switches into professional mode* Your prose is stronger than a lot I’ve seen, and you show a lot of promise with dialogue and characterization. Your sense of flow and pacing does seem to be a bit off— the prologue was too short and vague, for one. It didn’t connect me to the story, which is what a prologue is for. I…[Read more]

@Christi-Eaton *squeals* Still love it!

… can I post mine again here for comparison? It’ll make it look awful but I want to see the similarities. Thanks. 😀
*doesn’t wait for permission*

@Mark-Kamibaya YES. Rogue One. Everyone. Watch it. The more I think about it, the more sure I may be becoming that it’s my favorite movie ever. Seriously. Everything about it was so well done, and the theme—!
*buries face in hands* Just… watch it. You’ll see what I mean.

@f5a8c3e92 welcome to the club. *cackles*

@Daeus *dreamily contemplates the infinite*

fyi… I really did write that down…

HA! *curtsies* Excepting the king himself, of course.

@f5a8c3e92 I’ll critique this as soon as I have enough time to give it a thorough read. It looks interesting. 😀

@f5a8c3e92 *scandalized gasp* FIRST RULE OF SURVIVAL AROUND HERE— ALWAYS—! (No…) NEVER! MOCK! KING! DAEUS!

XD

@That_Writer_Girl_99 shhhh!! Don’t spill the beans! XD

@Daeus *grins and writes it down* Okay. Now what?

@f5a8c3e92 yes… you INTJ people are the reason we INFP people have to worry about it so much… XD

@that_writer_girl_99 been there, done that. *grins*