Sarah Spradlin

@Aratrea

My main villain is a former friend of Ethaniel’s. They were messengers together and developed a strong bond because Ethaniel has no name and Keros (who ends up becoming the villain) was of mixed blood (Ethaniel actually helped and cared for Keros when Keros first joined the force. He’s the main reason Keros stayed). Keros’s EiL is that a…[Read more]

I know, @northerner , I did break fairy tale protocol. (When I did, it felt like I was banging my head against a brick wall.) There was a lot of age difference, though. Sorry. 😉

Thanks for your opinion, I agree with you. I think her experiences should make her want to do something to help other princesses who may suffer from similar…[Read more]

Those are some good ideas, @kate-flournoy . I was thinking that I needed to either make the story more about the princess, or the peddler, and I started to go with the princess, which is why I cut out some at the end that talked about his life after the whole affair. However, what you wrote made me think about it some more, and I think the…[Read more]

I’m going to go with Arianwen again. Her arc mirrors Harold’s, making it a type one. They both follow disillusionment arcs.
Arianwen’s, however, more represents the flip side of Harold’s, because while Harold was particularly disillusioned with the ‘good guys’ and almost considered joining the bad guys, Arianwen, because she was on the wrong side…[Read more]

@overcomer
I like this a lot! It has a very fairytale-ish feel (sorry for stealing your words, @ethryndal), which is what I’m sure you were going for. So nice job!
1. Try not to use parentheses as much as you do. Example:

She plopped (rather ungraciously) back down on the divan and patted the spot next to her.

2. It might just be me but using the…[Read more]

@Overcomer *grins* I like this. Muchly. The only thing I might say do differently than how you have it is make this the peddler’s story, not the princess’s. By which I mean, take out the intro about the princess who had trouble dancing (hilarious though it is) and just start with the peddler on the road meeting the dancing master. That will give…[Read more]

Yay! Thanks, @daeus ! 😀

Hey @daeus ,

It was a short story that disappeared when I tried to edit it … technical diffulties! *sigh* I’m trying to put it up again, but it doesn’t want to go up because it says it already exists …

@aratrea Alright. A foil, then. And yes, Ard is very interesting. I still am working on figuring out the end of his arc…

@aratrea Yes, it might have something to do with that too. Actually, it will probably have a lot to do with the negative EiL and consequences from events over 30 years ago… *grins* *heads off to work on details*

@aratrea Yep. The one piece of truth they have is the piece the MC is missing. It so much fun when the villain or main antagonist knows and (in some sort of manner) teaches the MC the truth they need to hear even while mortal enemies.

@jenali Good for finding an outside-of-the-box example. 😉 Haven’t read the book, but the brief description there sounds like it matches the method!

@jane-maree That looks good and makes a lot of sense to me. 🙂 What parts of your story’s structure are you still wrestling with?

@jenali That looks pretty good. My one concern would be that Brigen should be more seriously considering trusting in the Creator at the midpoint, not at the climax. If he only considers and tries to live this out at…[Read more]

@winter-rose Bringer, Chase, Taliman, Harrison, Grayson

@hope Yes–you can certainly have characters who are antagonists at some points and allies at other points.

Good set of characters. Bryce sounds more like a foil to me. He would be a testing ground if part of Ethaniel’s journey required Ethaniel to move Bryce to his side after Bryce learns about his true heritage. Otherwise, he’s probably going…[Read more]

@hope What @daeus said. It also seems like part of the reason Zevlin dies might be the ongoing poetic justice of his initial negative Experiment in Living? If so, that doesn’t violate those principles since repentance after-the-fact doesn’t always resolve us from the consequences of sin. I would point to the peace Zevlin feels in his sacrifice as…[Read more]

@hope Oh; I like that concept. So basically someone who has a mostly negative EiL, but still have some grasp of the right truth?