Rochellaine

@seekjustice

Happy I was able to help. 🙂

@jenwriter17

I think I should be able to come on tomorrow.

@valtmy

Okay, that seems like a pretty easy fix and it makes a lot more sense. I’ll work that in 😀

@jenwriter17

I’m not sure that I will be, since it will be Sunday, but I might have time to chat in the afternoon.

@seekjustice @valtmy @dekreel

Lovin’ all the SFI talk going around, but I sadly cannot join you at the moment. 🙁 I might be on tomorrow, if any of you think you’ll be too.

@seekjustice

That sounds like a good idea.

I think you can have it such that this prologue depicts the second visit Jean makes to the store. So he first visits the store to check if there are available identities for him and Chessy to use and ‘reserves’ those identities (has to be a similar age, appearance has to be similar, father-daughter…[Read more]

@valtmy

Another possible I just had was one I saw in a show once, where people registered children who had never been born and then grew them up over the years, and sold the identities to anyone who would pay for them. That could be a very profitable business in a dystopian world.

Yes, I could possibly tweak the order of events. Or else, Jean…[Read more]

@seekjustice

One solution I can suggest is that instead of a completely new identity, Jean buys an existing identity for himself and Chessy so there’s an existing record already in the system. Maybe there is a real John and Charlotte Whitehall or something but they are dead and their deaths were not reported so the government is not aware of it…[Read more]

@valtmy

*cue despair*

Well, the only thing I can think of now is that he fakes his own death and goes to live in a convent.

@seekjustice

#4: I think my issue is that it’ll actually be really, really easy to find the new identity Jean is using unless literally every single government database storing identity information is compromised. Caderousse knows that Jean came here to get a new identity so she knows that a record change has been made. To identify the false…[Read more]

@valtmy

I know, it’s not entirely perfect yet 😛

Concerning #4, I hadn’t even thought of the woman being arrested, but you’re right. She would be, 😛 I’ll have to fix that up.

#5 My idea was that he had her name “legally” changed to Chessy.

#6 And this is where I run into problems. Its all very well for Jean to change his name and hide so well…[Read more]

@seekjustice

Yay, I think I like this prologue much better. It introduces the central conflict and immediately sillhows what the story will be a modern, futuristic retelling of Les Mis, which I think will be what a reader that picks up your book will be expecting.

A few points:

#1: Since the POV is meant to be omnescient, the shift in focus is…[Read more]

@dekreel

No, I completely understand. Life has been mad for me too.

And yeah, we were talking about SFI. 🙂

@seekjustice  Which one?

Oh, and sorry I never came back to beta-reading SFI. I lost the notes page you emailed me and then life happened annnnd. . . yeah. So sorry. 😛 🙁

@rochellaine

Ah, so she does actually say she likes Kendall? Hmm…I didn’t know that

*wonders off to ponder for a while*

@valtmy @rochellaine

I do that everytime. I even went and copied the link, just never pasted it.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1T-tYVuU9CwMBJJgt4MIpkXj9fScSA3Z06DttCofZShk/edit?usp=sharing

@dekreel Hey! We’re just discussing my New York Times Bestseller WIP.

@valtmy  Sounds tedious. 😛

I’m doing more fan stuff. As usual.

@seekjustice

There isn’t a link?

@dekreel

Hello. I’m working on my WIP. Got stuck for a while before I realised that it does not make sense for the scene I am writing to go the way I had planned so I am doing backtracking.

@valtmy

Well, it definitely doesn’t follow the conventions of a romance novel, but there is a lot of romance…

I think I’ve fixed the dystopian problem actually. Hopefully. I’ve read a lot about the expected conventions, and been working on worldbuilding, and it actually fits a lot more snugly into those expectations than I would immediately…[Read more]

@rochellaine  @valtmy  @seekjustice  @alia  @ariel-ashira  @jenwriter17  @anyone

I think I’ll try to hack away this plot hole a bit. How are y’all doing? 🙂

@rochellaine @valtmy

Here’s the rough draft I wrote the other day (really late at night 😛 ). It’s in omniscient pov, since that’s how most prologues seem to be done, but i’m still to decide whether the abrupt switch of focus at the end works? Let me know what you think 😀