Ruth

@rae I’ve been observing for a while. Wanted to get to the actual dance bit

@rae

I’d RP if anyone wanted to do something.

@esther-c @savannah_grace2009 can I come to the rescue and make things interesting? 😈

@rae @everyone do we have bullies? Also how many people are actually writing here?

In the mean time with the few brain cells left from camp I will proceed to try to make something happen

@whaley

Kate

The boy on the shield stirred, murmured, and then screamed…[Read more]

@jonas @freed_and_redeemed @savannah_grace2009 @highscribeofaetherium @rae

btw, anyone interested in taking a look at the character boards I just finished up?

@rae

He does pretty well in the beginning, but then Vorgan uses Nahim’s greatest fear to break him. It’s the darkest hour in my book, and I haven’t written it fully yet.

Ooooo, love it!!! YES YES YES!! You have to post that scene as soon as you write it!!

@rae

For one, these aren’t normal swords. For two, for most Realn it’s a matter of learning the skill and carrying one for sake of tradition. Some have ancient blades, but that’s rare. Nahim wears one (actually two right now) cuz his training master was Master Dare who was famous for saving the dragons from extinction and for his swordplay, and h…

[Read more]

@rae

Sorry, this is a bit late, but here’s a critique as requested.

The opponent blocked, swinging its second sword

I was a bit confused why you used ‘its’ as the pronoun here. After finishing the paragraph, I realized that it must be some sort of virtual opponent, but I did read over the sentence a couple times in confusion before reading on and…[Read more]

@rae

Next chapter, Vorgan captures Nahim, and takes Nahim’s weapons.

Wait really??!!!! I want to read that!!! I love capture scenes. Especial if the badguys are really mean and the hero still doesn’t lose his head. all though, from what I’ve seen of Nahim………

As for the fight scene thing, it really does end in a few seconds. A fight that g…[Read more]

@rae

Oh, I also read your scene for Chase’s book. Don’t really have any comments, but I like it. Nice title, too.

@rae

I read your scene, and overall, I think it’s really good. I’m not very good at critiquing, but I did want to mention just a couple things I noticed.

One, Mandin said it would take Nahim several minutes to defeat an opponent with a sword. Exchanges with swords actually usually last for a handful of seconds.

(Btw, do you have an in-…[Read more]

@rae

Oooo, I really like that! Sounds good!

@grcr

So what’d you think of the first chapter?

@rae

Should be ‘reins’ if you mean like those that control a horse.

I’m dying. YES it is. Grammar!!!!!!!! My old nemesis strikes again. 🙁

i like the story idea, but the tech level sounds to much like our time. I don’t get that sci-fi vibe from it.

Ugh. Grrrrrrrr. Ok, Maybe I’ll bring the date down a little. Closer in I guess. I’ll try to fix t…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Awesome!! I’ll tag a few more of you too.

@stephie @theshadow @keilah-h @highscribeofaetherium @whalekeeper @rae @linus-smallprint @grcr @loopylin @freed_and_redeemed

OK all, how is this for a story starter? I want to honestly know if it catches y’all attention.

 
Prologue
7/10/2065
 

Night had fallen over the capital…[Read more]

@grcr (CASSIAN SCENE ALERT) @ellette-giselle @esther-c @rae @jonas @whalekeeper @highscribeofatherium

This scene isn’t really edited either…

But let me know if it makes sense AT ALL

Chapter 5

Birdie

“I love birds,” Sef sang as she spread her arms wide, mimicking the birds soaring overhead, silhouetted against the bright blue sky.

She lov…[Read more]

@rae

You’re welcome! Glad you got it!

Oh man! I’m dying to know what you think! lol.

@grcr

Thank you!!! <3

@rae

I didn’t know Sef and Lilitu knew each other that long!

Yeah me neither… 

I just came up with it as I was writing it XD

@keilah-h I know; it’s been a long time coming 🥰😂

@grcr don’t worry….he’ll get there soon 👀

@rae I do understand. Forgiveness is a lot harder than people realize, and though I tend to forgive others fairly easily and instead withhold forgiveness more from myself, I do understand how hard it can be💖

But don’t worry, Leon will get…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009 @rae @mineralizedwritings @koshka @keilah-h @highscribeofaetherium @grcr @anyone-else-idk-lol-XD

Since I showed y’all where Riker is, here’s the most recent Leon scene👀

“‘And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.’”

Tears burned Leon’s…

[Read more]

DROPPING THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!

Just so you know, it’s not edited…heh…heh…

so just bear with me XD

Tags: @jonas @grcr @esther-c @highscribeofaetherium @ellette-giselle @rae @and-my-brain-stopped-working

“Please! Someone help me!” Neveah gasped for breath, frantically scanning the crowds for a familiar face.

Where could Sef have gon…

[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

WHYYY

Heh

Heh

Hehhhhhhh

@rae

*offers several boxes of tissues*