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@esther-c The promised Glace snippet…

If Only I Could Forget by R. A. E.
Peachy shores cannot keep in the salty water as it spills over its borders, dropping in streams down a fair cheek, and sliding under a girlish chin before falling and breaking on the ground. Shattering into tiny pieces just like my sister’s heart.

“Glace…” A shaky voice so sweet and innocent, its tone filled with sorrow and pleading. I knew those three words that had just left my lips had broken her heart. She had heard it straight from my own mouth: “I did it.”

“Gloria, go! Leave! Don’t you understand? I am not someone you should call your brother. Now go, I never want to see you here again!” In the heat of the moment, I yell at her. I don’t think I had ever done that before, not until today. Her beautiful eyes, full of shock, tears, and pleading stare at me full in face. She didn’t move. Didn’t budge.

“Glace.” That voice summoned memories of a happy childhood, with me dashing round corners, my shoulder catching the edge. With large waves, waves that called my name to come surf. With smiles and laughter. With flowing long blond hair that tempted me to pull it. Then a friendly chase that was played to be hostile, with Gloria shouting at me to stop pulling her hair every time I passed by. A childhood with father, his eyes looking weary from a long day, coming home to plaster a smile and play with his little young son. Memories that could become my life again, all I had to do was tell Gloria…No, I can’t do it.

I can’t stand those eyes looking at me anymore, those eyes that tell me to tell her the real truth. I open my portal hole, and leave.

Stumbling into my lonely apartment, I pulled off my mask the rest of the way. There’s a metallic thump as it hits the wall. I slump onto my couch, reaching down to pull my boots off, removing the knife first. Lastly, I pull off my hood and flung it to rest with my mask, on the floor. My golden vambrace still is on my arm.

Did I really just tell sis I never wanted to see her again?

What had I just said? Would she still come after me? Would she still look for me? Would she still long to see my face and hear my voice? To just know I am safe and sound?

Hopefully she was searching, knowing I didn’t mean it. Hopefully she didn’t just return to our father, crying and losing hope. Hopefully she…

No. she can’t.

She must go home and forget she even had a brother. And I must dwell in eternity here, separated from all I had loved, without friends, without family, without what used to bring me joy. I must never see or hear Gloria again, or break.

I will never see the lucky man who falls in love with her and captures her dear heart. Never play practical jokes on him on his wedding day. Never watch Gloria go misty-eyed, with face beaming as she rants on about him to the waves, and the stars…to me. I must never see my nephews or nieces, never know their names, likes, dislikes. They’ll have no uncle. I’ll never see Gloria playfully swimming in the sea by our home like she loves. Never taste her cooking. Never smell the fragrance of her hair, like salty water and fresh air. Never. Never. Never.

For all I can do, she might as well be dead.

And why has this befallen me? Because I was the one who lied to the Empire, who cheated on that test of knowledge and endurance. It was me.

I did it.

I yell in rage and agony, my heart being torn to pieces inside my chest. I have led myself to believe as best I could that it really was me. But even though I chanted it at night, I drilled it into my brain. Even though I did everything to deceive myself, the deepest part of me still knew. My heart still knew, it still remembered I was innocent, remembered who was guilty, the one I took the place of.

And no one knows but him.

I hid it from Gloria, from father. I told them the lie I tell myself. I told the Empire the same. I told them so my friend could go free, and I was the one banished.

Banished until the end of the Universe.

All I have to do is tell Gloria the truth, and she would clear me. She would hunt down my friend, and the Empire would discover I to be innocent. My life would be happy again.

All I have to do is tell Gloria.

But I can’t, for if I do, what will the point of me taking the blame? I chose the path, the loneliness, the chant at night. I chose it so he could have a life so much better.

If only that deep part of me would just forget my innocence and move on, my life would be less troubled. But still it keeps telling me the truth, the truth I choose to forget. With each pulse it tells me,

You are innocent.

I close my eyes, leaning back into the cushion of my couch. I scrunch my eyebrows and vent a quick sigh. If I could just forget I had a life before this, forget about the tests, the position, about my friend, and about those tears on Gloria’s face, everything would be fine…

But still aches my heart for home and family no matter how hard I try.
End.