Mallory O'Bier

@overcomer Ha! That part about the opposite shoes…

Ok, so as for your questions/idea, I’d say I don’t think so for first two, but yes for the second two, especially the last one, because, while after I got what you were doing I thought the ending was funny, it confused me at first. Showing how the characters developed would be helpful for…[Read more]

@overcomer Alrighty I managed to grab enough time to read and give it an edit over. I did it in a google doc, so hopefully it works. I’ll link to it, and you should be able to see what I’ve suggested and accept/reject said edit suggestions.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/16jNPsx_TyzVFKnVbbBRcaITZK3x85NNkgf8kNLyWrZc/edit?usp=sharing

*hopes it works*

@overcomer
I like this a lot! It has a very fairytale-ish feel (sorry for stealing your words, @ethryndal), which is what I’m sure you were going for. So nice job!
1. Try not to use parentheses as much as you do. Example:

She plopped (rather ungraciously) back down on the divan and patted the spot next to her.

2. It might just be me but using the…[Read more]

Great story @Overcomer! I love the classical fairy tale style. As far as your questions go, I suggest you pick either the peddler or the princess and then tell the whole tale from their angle. You could do as Kate said, and give the peddler’s side of the matter. Or, you could tell more of the princess’ trials, and give her impression of the dusty…[Read more]

@Overcomer I love this. I love the whimsical feel to the whole thing. It’s sooo fairytale-ish. 🙂

As far as changes, I second what Kate said, but otherwise, nice job. 😀

@Overcomer *grins* I like this. Muchly. The only thing I might say do differently than how you have it is make this the peddler’s story, not the princess’s. By which I mean, take out the intro about the princess who had trouble dancing (hilarious though it is) and just start with the peddler on the road meeting the dancing master. That will give…[Read more]

@overcomer Your message got marked as spam for some reason. I got it up now.

What’s this @overcomer?

@winter-rose @daeus @overcomer @ethryndal @northerner @perfectfifths @kina-lamb @kate-flournoy @the-bean @hope @jane-maree @graciegirl @r-j-wordsmith @allthepeoples
I’m here! I’m here! I know it’s been a while, but I’m here now!

@Overcomer Well, oh Wise One, I’m calling it quits for the day. I wrote most of a blog post and feel pretty satisfied with myself. Thank you for lending your herd of deer. 🙂

@Northerner Woot for you too!

@Overcomer I’m still going, if you’re still here.

@Overcomer Stunning? I know, I have a way with words… XD

@Overcomer Writing and Deer Master of Crazy Typing. 😀 How’s that?

Oh! Hello Writing and Deer Master @Overcomer!

@overcomer Oh boy. Let me think about it. …Yes. 🙂

@overcomer I think either could work. You could make one the primary theme and the other a major supporting theme, or you could say they’re the same theme viewed from opposite angles. Your theme could then be purpose with the focusing question of “How do you discover and embrace your destiny?”, or, from another angle, the theme could be…[Read more]

@overcomer Don’t worry about it! Glad to hear you’ve been learning so much from it. 🙂

All right, got some pages done. It’s dinnertime here so gotta go now @overcomer. Great writing with you!

I agree @overcomer. It’s the novel as never started takes longest to finish.

Checking in @overcomer! Working on a few edits.