Mallory O'Bier

Ah; nice. I like that. Moving characters from extremes to a middle ground is a really good way of implementing Method #2.

@jane-maree My recommendation would be to figure out what chain of events will lead the protagonist from the inciting event to the first plot point, and then use those to structure that area. Also possibly use that period to develop your characters more before throwing them out into the fray. K.M. Weiland wrote a post about this several years back…[Read more]

@hope Yep. That’s awesome. I like it a lot.

@Aratrea

My main villain is a former friend of Ethaniel’s. They were messengers together and developed a strong bond because Ethaniel has no name and Keros (who ends up becoming the villain) was of mixed blood (Ethaniel actually helped and cared for Keros when Keros first joined the force. He’s the main reason Keros stayed). Keros’s EiL is that a…[Read more]

I’m going to go with Arianwen again. Her arc mirrors Harold’s, making it a type one. They both follow disillusionment arcs.
Arianwen’s, however, more represents the flip side of Harold’s, because while Harold was particularly disillusioned with the ‘good guys’ and almost considered joining the bad guys, Arianwen, because she was on the wrong side…[Read more]

@Ingridrd Ah, well, we have nothing, if it ain’t stolen. (To completely butcher a Reepicheep quote. 😛 )

@overcomer
I like this a lot! It has a very fairytale-ish feel (sorry for stealing your words, @ethryndal), which is what I’m sure you were going for. So nice job!
1. Try not to use parentheses as much as you do. Example:

She plopped (rather ungraciously) back down on the divan and patted the spot next to her.

2. It might just be me but using the…[Read more]

Great story @Overcomer! I love the classical fairy tale style. As far as your questions go, I suggest you pick either the peddler or the princess and then tell the whole tale from their angle. You could do as Kate said, and give the peddler’s side of the matter. Or, you could tell more of the princess’ trials, and give her impression of the dusty…[Read more]

@Overcomer I love this. I love the whimsical feel to the whole thing. It’s sooo fairytale-ish. 🙂

As far as changes, I second what Kate said, but otherwise, nice job. 😀

@Overcomer *grins* I like this. Muchly. The only thing I might say do differently than how you have it is make this the peddler’s story, not the princess’s. By which I mean, take out the intro about the princess who had trouble dancing (hilarious though it is) and just start with the peddler on the road meeting the dancing master. That will give…[Read more]

@overcomer Your message got marked as spam for some reason. I got it up now.

What’s this @overcomer?

@winter-rose yay! Good for you! 😀 Thanks for writing with me.

@jenali oh yesss. I read that book last year and liked it quite a lot. It had a really interesting concept.

@aratrea thank you!! 🙂
I’m sort of struggling with my beginning. It feels a bit up-down and not entirely connected to the plot. After the inciting incident there’s seven chapters before the first plot point and I’m not sure how to keep the plot moving during that time not just pointless action scenes.
And making my villain not an evil-overlord…[Read more]

@aratrea Alright. A foil, then. And yes, Ard is very interesting. I still am working on figuring out the end of his arc…

@aratrea Yes, it might have something to do with that too. Actually, it will probably have a lot to do with the negative EiL and consequences from events over 30 years ago… *grins* *heads off to work on details*