Mallory O'Bier

Woah woah, hold it people. I rule a separate kingdom. Josiah and I are in alliance. *looks warily at raspberries hoping they aren’t poisoned*

@daeus @jenali I’m signing off as well. I wrote 1100 words, and conquered a rough spot in the running of the plot. for the most part, I’m happy with what I got done.

@dragon-snapper @jenali Signing off. I didn’t really come up with any ideas, but it should probably be tense enough. We’ll see.

@daeus Coolio.

@dragon-snapper @jenali Ok, now I’m back.

@daeus I found your conflict. Work is getting in the way of writing.

@dragon-snapper @jenali Ooops, sorry. I guess I have other work I need to do.

@daeus Ooh, nice. Conflict is always nice. 😀

@dragon-snapper @jenali I’ll join in. I’m trying to figure out how to add another layer of conflict to my climax.

@jenali Huzzah!

@jenali @winter-rose @that_writer_girl_99 @graciegirl @daeus @kate-flournoy I’m going to see how well I can write, even though I can’t see anything because of the glare. 😛

@jenali @winter-rose @that_writer_girl_99 @graciegirl @daeus @kate-flournoy I’m going to see how well I can write, even though I can’t see anything because of the glare. LP

@That_Writer_Girl_99 yeah. What he said. XD

@That_Writer_Girl_99 I’ll just repeat what Kate said that the character voice is really well done. I’m especially surprised you’ve been able to get this good without anyone critiquing you. Honestly, that’s downright crazy.

It does seem that the plot needs some development though, as well as the question of what to do with the elementals.

I…[Read more]

@That_Writer_Girl_99 ooooohhhh… you know what? It looks like you’ve got really good potential here for a disillusionment story. I really, really love the idea of the world outside being even worse than the prison.
What do you know about theme/message and building your story around it?
Because if you do have the world outside be worse than the…[Read more]

@That_Writer_Girl_99 no, I know. It isn’t. 😛 Have you come up with any ideas so far? Need help brainstorming? Seriously, just dump them all right here and I’ll help you pick through them if I can. That’s what we do here. We’re all writers after all… 😉 Even if you think the ideas are dumb, please— share them. I have dumb ideas all the time.…[Read more]

@That_Writer_Girl_99

Wow.
Okay, first of all, may I just say congratulations on the very strong character voice. Most people go for the snazzy voices of characters like Tam to carry their story if it’s first person, but I love the subtle yet very distinct tone of Kara’s. It’s beautiful.

In fact, your prose itself is actually very strong, and I…[Read more]

@That_Writer_Girl_99 I totally get that. You’ll be fine. I promise. 😉 Tag me when you do post and I’ll get back to you with opinions as soon as I’ve done a thorough read through. 🙂

@That_Writer_Girl_99 ha. XD Not at all…

@That_Writer_Girl_99 *salutes* reporting for duty! And really, we’re not monsters. 😀 Just start a new topic over in General Writing Discussions or something and we’ll have a nice little critiquing party with cake and brownies and punch for everyone. 😀 (Virtual, of course. *wink*)