Mark Kamibaya

If anyone’s still out there, I’m going for another hour

And now I’m taking another break, but I’ll be back for more.

@jess @winter-rose I’m back for another hour.

@emma-flournoy @sarah-h @rolena-hatfield @sierra-r @kate-flournoy @jess Thank you all for praying! If you could just keep it up a little longer, it would be much appreciated. I think it’s so amazing that people here pray for each other even though they’ve never actually met in person. It makes you think about how big God really is, that He can…[Read more]

@i-j-anderson I personally like illustrations, if they’re done well, though too often I pick up a book with illustrations that look like they were done by a four year old. (You know, blobby noses, faces that are basically just a circle, and pathetic backgrounds)

Or the illustrator paid absolutely no attention to the author’s descriptions. Like, a…[Read more]

Alright. I’m gonna take a break now, but I’ll be back. I proofread something like four chapters.

@Jess praying lots!
He designed the machine they’re using for his surgery?!

@aella @winter-rose Ok, I’m back. I think I’ll try to go for an hour without breaking.

@aella I’m just finishing over here, but I’ll be back in about an hour or so and then I’ll keep going for a couple hours.

@kate-flournoy Glad you liked it.

@rolena-hatfield I really enjoy getting together with family and spending time with them.

@Daeus soooo… I read Cry the Beloved Country. I absolutely loved it. It’s a really unique book— not just the odd original punctuation, but the style, and the relative flatness of the plot, and yet it’s such a stirring book. It’s like reading a poem or something. 😀 Also it was a thinking book, not a preaching book, which I love for obvious…[Read more]

Yay, it worked.

@Daeus These three sentences

Matthew returns years later with wealth and power, ready to fulfill his vengeance. Assuming the mysterious guise of Edwin Brook he begins his struggle for justice. Uncanny events, however, keep thwarting his every move.

sound choppy to me.
Too ‘this, and this. Then this, and this. Then this.’ I think it would…[Read more]

@Daeus yes. Much better. I agree with @Jess that that sentence still seems to be having trouble— perhaps because all subjects of that sentence are not necessarily in the same categorical thought-family, if you know what I mean?— but otherwise I love it.

Otherwise, @daeus I think it’s great!

@daeus Very good!
I have a few suggestions, though.
In the second sentence, you use the word ‘his’ quite a bit. Overly so.

His dedication to his wronged family is powerful enough to bring him through any trial, but his youth and inexperience hold him back.

Maybe you could write it as: “Dedication to his wronged family can bring him…[Read more]