Mark Kamibaya

@S-G-Dewey That’s really good. 🙂

@Overcomer I think it’s adorable and hilarious. It also has some flow problems. The big thing is probably that all of the verses seem to follow a different rhythm, which disconnects them and messes with the ‘oneness’ 😛 of the poem. I would say pick one rhythm and go with it.

Thanks, @dragon-snapper ! I’m glad you liked it. 🙂

@winter-rose , what about that last verse doesn’t work for you? Do you think it’s disjointed?

Hmm … they are a bit on the bumpy side, @daeus . Do you think they could be tweaked and made better? If you have any thoughts on that I’d appreciate it. The hardest part for me when it comes to…[Read more]

Thanks, @dragon-snapper ! I’m glad you liked it. 🙂

Good point, @winter-rose , I’ll keep that in mind.

Hmm … they are a bit on the bumpy side, @daeus . Do you think they could be tweaked and made better? If you have any thoughts on that I’d appreciate it. The hardest part for me when it comes to editing poems … is editing.

I can…[Read more]

@overcomer Very nice! I’ve been hearing birds like that all week, and I love it! I’m glad you were able to show that in this poem. 😀

@overcomer It’s a nice poem. I did feel that the following lines were a bit bumpy, but otherwise thumbs up.

I should have liked to have learned it
But thus their displeasure incurred
And I looked after them feeling absurd

I’m hoping to gain some writing insight that will help me with my story planning. 🙂

@Ethryndal OHHH!!! Yes, okay! That one was just adorable. I’m sorry. 😛 Painful but it was so cute, and the way it turned out was beautiful for everyone. Poor John. 😛 Yes, definitely lots to be admired there.

@Kate-Flournoy I was actually talking about the one between John Chivery, Arthur, and Amy. I kind of forgot the one between Pet and Arthur. 🙂 Probably because I didn’t like it that much either…

@Kate-Fournoy I was actually talking about the one between John Chivery, Arthur, and Amy. I kind of forgot the one between Pet and Arthur. 🙂 Probably because I didn’t like it that much either…

@Ethryndal yes! I’ve seen the BBC series of it and I started the book, but I hate electronics and it was on kindle, so I’m kinda looking for it in physical format (unabridged 😛 ) before finishing it.
That love triangle was actually not my favorite just because I didn’t care all that much for Pet Meagles, and I was mad at Arthur for falling for…[Read more]

Has anyone ever attempted Charles Dickens’ Little Dorrit? That one had a great love triangle in in.

Well that made me happy. I got a 62.

@S-G-Dewey Yay for you! That’s a great name!

@S-G-Dewey Yay for you! That’s an great name!

@S-G-Dewey nice! I love it. 😀

@S.G.Dewey nice! I love it. 😀

Ooh, I like it too.