Mark Kamibaya

@that_writer_Girl_99 That’s okay. You just need Star Wars glue. 😛 I love Star Wars too. 😛
@winter-rose No! Frodo! No!

Thoughts:

The imagery here is good.

First line: wakes works better than awakes.

“No longer free does flow” doesn’t flow well off the tongue.

“the earth had”: “the earth was” works better, I think.

“To warmer weather flee”: Took me a moment to figure out what that meant.

“through flowers flit”: I love the sound of that 🙂

The rythm wasn’t…[Read more]

@that_writer_Girl_99 Well…my hearts broken. 😛

@that_writer_Girl_99 Well…my hearts broken.

@winter-rose Well, remember when I begged Gandalf not to turn me into a toad? Well, to be able to protect you, he turned me into a dragon. 😀 I guess it’s better than a toad.

@winter-rose *sniffles*
You know what this dragon says to that? *melts the Ring*

@Anne-of-Lothlorien the first is beautiful and the second hilarious. XD

@Anne-of-Lothlorien what @Daeus said. 😛

@AnneofLothlorien what @Daeus said. 😛

@that_writer_Girl_99 *laughs sheepishly* Aha…we like LotR…a lot.

@winter-rose Can’t you even hear yourself, Mr. Frodo? You’re not yourself. It’s that Gollum! It’s this place! It’s that thing around your neck!

@winter-rose I could carry it for a while. Share the load.

@winter-rose Alright, Frodo. Looks like we’ve got a few rabbits that Gollum snatched for us, and…oh, would you look at that. More lembas bread.

@winter-rose Are you still there?

@Anne-of-Lothlorien I don’t see anything to pick at, but there’s not much more than externals here. Here are my questions to get to the heart of the story.

1. What’s the girl’s inner longing? e.g. she wants her parents to be reunited.
2. What’s the girl’s story goal? e.g. get back to her parents. (it’s best if her longing and goal can be closely…[Read more]

@anne-of-lothlorien The first “I don’t know” is Mackenzie; the second is Rolena’s sister who came along for the ride.

@dragon-snapper Here’s the picture Anne was referring to. There are more photos on our social media accounts if you’re able to access them!

@anne-of-lothlorien The first “I don’t know” is Mackenzie; the second is Rolena’s sister who came along for the ride.

@dragon-snapper Here’s the picture Anne was referring to. There are more photos on our social media accounts if you’re able to access them!

@anne-of-lothlorien The first “I don’t know” is Mackenzie; the second is Rolena’s sister who came along for the ride.

@dragon-snapper Here’s the picture Anne was referring to. There are more photos on our social media accounts if you’re able to access them!

@anne-of-lothlorien The first “I don’t know” is Mackenzie; the second is Rolena’s sister who came along for the ride.

@winter-rose Was planning on writing with you, but now I have to leave for a concert. *silently hands out cookies dough and ice cream for all those who are valiantly writing on* Good luck!