Lightningmouse

Awesome job, @kate-flournoy! Love it! 😀

I loved the rhythm throughout the whole thing. Really cool. 🙂

Awesome job, Cait! Love it! 😀

I loved the rhythm throughout the whole thing. Really cool. 🙂

@mas410, Really?!?! That’s so cool! You’ll have to refresh my memory; where have we met before? I’m sure I’ll remember…I’m kind of having a brain-foggy day. 😉

My assorted thoughts on this piece:
-As I said in my critique, the humor in this story is great and is still great this time around. Thumbs up from me for that.
-I second most of what other people have already said about the debit card and ticks.
-I really liked the parallels you were drawing between Anna and Savanna in terms of the spectrum…[Read more]

Yay! Congrats! 😀 And good job with the name @bluejay! It’s simple, to the point, and overall just great. 🙂

Yay! Congrats! 😀 And great job with the name @bluejay!

The fact that he doesn’t hear whether or not she’s dead or alive before this letter, and doesn’t even try to find out, strikes me as odd, but I guess I could see a bully-type character being too embarrassed to do that and such. Anyways, onto the actual request, I’m going to try to put myself in the position of this character. Assuming that he…[Read more]

That’s not a bad idea. Not that I didn’t like the whole staccato thing, but it wasn’t really getting you anywhere. 😛 Uh…let me see…Noted Musings (sorta bland, but it could work). Actually, I liked your idea of Noteworthy Musings. 😉 Haha… umm… Mixed Notes? Index Madness…? 😉 😛

That’s not a bad idea. Not that I didn’t like the whole staccato thing, but it wasn’t really getting you anywhere. 😛 Uh…let me see…Noted Musings (sorta bland, but it could work). Actually, I liked your idea of Noteworthy Musings. 😉 Haha… umm… Mixed Notes? Index Madness… 😉 😛 Ugh, someone, please put me out of my misery.

The Author’s Staccato(s), maybe? 😛 Uh… Staccato… Umm… Wow. 😐 I’ve been reading this topic for a while now, and let me just say – @spradlin, I totally get why you’re beating your head against the wall. This is insanely hard (and I only just started 😛 🙁 )

The Author’s Staccato(s), maybe? 😛 Uh… Staccato… Umm… Wow. -_- I’ve been reading this topic for a while now, and let me just say – @spradlin, I totally get why you’re beating your head against the wall. This is insanely hard (and I only just started 😛 🙁 )

I think Staccato Notes could work, @spradlin. Double meaning, y’know. 😉

I fake a laugh. This guy is really getting on my nerves. “Yep, that’s what it is alright.”
He ducks back through the door and a moment later it expands into normal height.
“Voila!” I see him through the doorway with his hands raised triumphantly.
“H-how did you…the door…it just…”
He shrugs. “No biggie. Actually it’s pretty easy to use magic…[Read more]

Wow, @kate-flournoy! I don’t normally like poetry that much, but believe me, you have a masterpiece here. 😉 I really enjoyed reading it!

Daeus got mostly everything. But I would change this,

The children’s feet! Upon the turf they running come to meet him,

To this:

The children’s feet! Upon the turf they’re running up to meet him,

or,

The c…[Read more]

Wow, @kate-flournoy! I don’t normally like poetry that much, but believe me, you have a masterpiece here. 😉 I really enjoyed reading it!

Daeus got mostly everything. But I would change this,

The children’s feet! Upon the turf they running come to meet him,

To this:

The children’s feet! Upon the turf they’re running up to meet him,

or,

The c…[Read more]

Wow, @kate-flournoy! I don’t normally like poetry that much, but believe me, you have a masterpiece here. 😉 I really enjoyed reading it!

@daeus got mostly everything. But I would change this,

The children’s feet! Upon the turf they running come to meet him,

To this:

The children’s feet! Upon the turf they’re running up to meet h…[Read more]

Sweet! It’s about time you got a blog, @spradlin! 😉
Hmm… Notecards & Novelists maybe? I’ll keep thinking.

Wow, that’s great @bluejay. 🙂 Keep it up! And yeah, I think there are other states like that too. There’s a Union City, California and a Union City, Tennessee… probably even more.

@bluejay, one Indiana city bordering Ohio is Union City, and it’s actually pretty interesting because it is split between the two states (which is why it’s called “Union” City). Thus you have Union City, OH and Union City, IN. 😀 Its zip code is 47390. Some of its street names include: Ball Park Rd, Beverly Dr, Boggs Ave, Cadwallader St, and North…[Read more]

@bluejay, one Indiana city bordering Ohio is Union City, and it’s actually pretty interesting because it is split between the two states (which is why it’s called “Union” City). Thus you have Union City, OH and Union City, IN. 😀 Its zip code is 47390. Some of its street names include: Ball Park Rd, Beverly Dr, Boggs Ave, Cadwallader St, and…[Read more]