Joy Schmidt

Oh, one more question. Do you prefer the ending lines:

“Awestruck to see that in dark the lights dance”

or

“Awestruck to see that in night the lights dance”

???

Thanks everyone! @emma-flournoy @ariella-newheart @rochellaine

I think I’ve got it now. I’ll come back to this a few months from now to see if I can make any small improvements, but I think it’s generally solid. 😀

@daeus Thankee. *bows* Well, I tried incorporating small ‘good’ things and it’s been a lot let dismal lately. I think I just let Ike gnaw on dismal’ness’ for too long. XD

@sarah-anson I really like the italicized bit you said there. *nods* I agree. Thanks!

@Daeus

‘Most comely he smiled’ is better

And little Teedletiden he fashioned for the trees
For all of these a city, Letharill, he made
Its glory was established that it should never fade[ I’m unsure about the meter in these last three lines, especially lines 1 and 3.]

Maybe instead: ‘And little Teedletiden he fashioned for trees

For all t…[Read more]

@warrioroftherealm *salutes* Awesome!

@christianna-hellwig @rochellaine @emma-flournoy @that_writer_girl_99

Thanks so much for your suggestions, everyone! Here’s what I have now.

“Oh, stars that remember the firstthings forgotten
How earth and its peoples were early begotten
They looked and beheld through a pane of dark glass
The earth in a swirling, untamable mass
From darkness f…[Read more]

@christianna-hellwig Thanks so much! I’ll take a look over this as soon as I get a chance.

@emma-flournoy Ha! Well, we’ll see. I’d certainly love to.

@Daeus Thanks.

Well, you’d better come up with an epic soundtrack for it then. 😉

@emma-flournoy Sure, here’s one. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oV9qnLtpy4Cwn8-JFfJaXzOn4A5-yqRBR-AqlFIyYdk/edit?usp=sharing

Yeah, song creation and all that. I probably should have come up with something more original, but in my defense the song creation is the basis for the whole magical system, the last book’s allegorical aspects, and the…[Read more]

@that_writer_girl_99 @rochellaine Thanks. 😀

@Daeus Oh hey, could I have it in a doc too? I was going to do it without one, but that sounds a much more efficient option.

I don’t write poetry, but I certainly appreciate good poetry, especially with good cadence.  That’s my favorite part.

I read through it, and it’s beautiful, and I do have some metrical suggestions.

Also, I feel compelled…[Read more]

@that_writer_girl_99 Here ye be.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Gbxwg9Afksj6pdwgg7F-WuJKj9EtsG9V6lXSLyBVWBM/edit?usp=sharing

@that_writer_girl_99 More for metric pattern, but either one.

@introvert_girl Sam really said it already, but you can also add a backstory to show why the character acts the way they do. The overall tone of the story will help too. I think though that the most important thing is proactivity, like Sam said.

@sam-kowal *is honored that you think me a hero in dragondom*

@sam-kowal

To Stan: No, I’m still a dragon. I can still melt chairs. This is just the human me. Worry not, Stan. We’re still dragon friends. *offers you a melted chair*

To Sam: 😛 (XD Still a dragon. Once a dragon, always a dragon.) I wrote 1144, so I’m signing out now. 🙂 Good luck on your new book!

@sam-kowal *nods* XD

Turns to Stan: Why aren’t you talking to Sam? I thought you two were best buds?