Cloaked Mystery

@ellette-giselle

The only thing I would say was when it said Cassian “ran, trying to outrun himself”

Actually it was “Cassian ran, trying to outrun time itself”.

That still might grate a little bit because of ran/outrun, so I changed it a little bit.

Also, from the perspective of someone who doesn’t know the full story and really is like a reade…

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@everyone

Sorry for not getting back to you guys! I admit I did get a little overwhelmed…WHY ARE THERE SO MANY HOLES IN MY STORY LIKE DOES IT SUCK THAT MUCH????

Such is life XD

Don’t worry…you guys are helping me a lot! I’m a sensitive person and writing’s something really close to my heart so when I get all these things I’m doing wrong I…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I read the last two chapters and that hit me hard too!!!

I almost cried….😭😭😭💔💔

I need to read it all the way through again!

You have a beautiful story and I can’t wait to see what God does with it!

(And I understand perfectly about why you started before Marcus converted, it makes sense now!)

@ellette-giselle

I think I’ve decided on a character but I’m still trying to write an adequate description for you. So I should be finished at some point today or maybe tomorrow.

Your drawing of Shadow’s character looks sooo good!

@ellette-giselle

I’d join too…except I don’t write enough to have a competition XDD

@savannah_grace2009

Aww, I love that chapter. Sef and Lilitu are adorable.

@grcr

Thank you!!! <3

@rae

I didn’t know Sef and Lilitu knew each other that long!

Yeah me neither… 

I just came up with it as I was writing it XD

@freed_and_redeemed

I was expecting to not be able to type cuz the keyboard would be fuzzy, but I was pleasantly surprised!

Good for Leon!

And I totally get not wanting to forgive someone. I still can’t bring myself to forgive someone for insulting the memory of my Grandmother not even six months after her passing, let alone someone who killed…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Awwww, so cute <333

I didn’t know Sef and Lilitu knew each other that long!

@ellette-giselle

Yeah, I got it. Sorry about not replying, but doing so would tempt me to disclose some of my thoughts before July 11th.

Thx for checking though!

DROPPING THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!

Just so you know, it’s not edited…heh…heh…

so just bear with me XD

Tags: @jonas @grcr @esther-c @highscribeofaetherium @ellette-giselle @rae @and-my-brain-stopped-working

“Please! Someone help me!” Neveah gasped for breath, frantically scanning the crowds for a familiar face.

Where could Sef have gon…

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@freed_and_redeemed

I mean like I’m one to talk… XD

I’m surprised no one’s called the Character Exploitation Hotline on me yet…

@ellette-giselle

Chapter four was really smooth and was a lot easier to follow! I don’t have hardly any comments.

Except maybe one thing…maybe give more detail about why Julius is so mad that Marcus is missing. It just kind of shows Julius “throwing a fit” for no apparent reason. Maybe show us his thoughts about why is is scared/angry and…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I am so sorry…I just can’t keep up with the ammount of chapters you write

That’s insane XD XD

I will try to go over chapter 3/4 soon, I forgot where I left off!!

But about the plot, I was just wondering what your storyline looked like.

I was concerned that you might not have enough plot for a full novel, but since it’s a…[Read more]

@jonas

Okay, that explanation works. However, this being the first chapter and all, readers will assume that that is just an innate characteristic of Paynes. Furthermore, Kratos shouldn’t expect the smell, and you might want to make him remark to himself about it.

Okay good point XD XD

Unless… How do you want the other Andromedan races to come acr…

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@ellette-Giselle

So there’s this unwritten rule on KP about joining new topics, and it basically goes like this, “Pop in wherever you want”. If you want to join the conversation, you just do. If you feel bad about it, don’t, because everyone does it too.

I understand the feeling, like you’re barging into a stranger’s house when you’re new here,…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed @keilah-h @loopylin

Thank you.

@freedom @anyone-else-who-are-interested-in-the-second-ending

I posted it in the topic My short story. Warning, if you wanted a happy ending to the story, don’t read it. It’s pretty sad.

@freed_and_redeemed

Why is Riker like all my bois rapped into one rn? Seriously, Alpha’s afraid he’ll hurt those he loves, Chase feels like he let down his mother in not protecting her. Nahim is just…my poor Nahim, I cried over him last night.

I think I finally figured out why I like Riker so much.

So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll finally let…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Like some random dictator of favored fiction wants me to help you.

XD