Janellebelovedpig

and here’s Chapter 5.

I hope I’m not swamping Y’all!

 
Chapter 5
“In the beginning, Marcus, there was nothing,” began Caius. “God, created the heavens and the earth, and all that lies in between. Then, he fashioned the first man and breathed the breath of life into him. For the man, he made a helper; the first woman. Together they lived in a bea…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Thanks for the encouragement. I still feel like running back to the safety of fiction, but I am determined to stick this one out.

Can’t wait to hear your thoughts on Chapter 4.

I almost have chapter five done too. I’m starting to slide into my writing roll. lol.

@savannah_grace2009

I think it has a really good start! I just can’t wait to see where it’s going.

Yeah, maybe take Puddleglum *clears throat* I mean, that other writing coach, with a grain of salt. Scratch that, maybe a pillar of salt. lol. However, I will say that there is something to be learned from everyone. So, try to see the gold in the…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Oh I love what you did in the example. Perfect. I get so caught up in making sure the info that is needed is there, that I think I lost a little depth with the story. Whoops. I haven’t ever done Historical fiction before, so I’m a little stressed about keeping things accurate to history. I am surrounded by books on Rome , rom…

[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium @ellette-giselle

Yeah…oops!

I fixed that in the platform I write on (it’s called Reedsy), thank you for catching that!

@ellette

The reason that I accidently changed that to Selena is because I changed that section a LOT. I just came up with the idea to have their names be changed recently, because when you turn to…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

For some reason your comment didn’t load until just now! (I love bad internet. lol) Anyways, thank you so much for the feedback!!

Good, I’m glad I was able to incorporate some of your suggestions in that one!

Oh I love what you did in the example. Perfect. I get so caught up in making sure the info that is needed is there,…[Read more]

Aaaaand here’s chapter 4!!

 
Chapter 4
Julius paced back and forth near the window overlooking the street. Where is he? Why did he leave like that? What has gotten into him? “Curse that wretched Lucius!”

Julius slammed his fist against his palm several times. He spun on his heal and stalked down into the dining room. The slave girl who had giv…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Oh man! I must say creepy!

Goodness, it sure is good though. I really don’t like the decision the parents made. I mean, there’s just no excuse.

I’m excited to find out what happens to the child, though I have some educated guesses. Is this all you have written so far?

I did notice that you changed the wife’s name before…[Read more]

Oh man! I must say creepy!

Goodness, it sure is good though. I really don’t like the decision the parents made. I mean, there’s just no excuse.

I’m excited to find out what happens to the child, though I have some educated guesses. Is this all you have written so far?

I did notice that you changed the wife’s name before they joined the “Master”…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Do you have any thoughts on the Prologue?

A little background information…

this is an allegory of spiritual warfare and the lies that we believe about ourselves, and how that affects our lives.

I’m not going to info dump everything right now cuz that would be a LOT! But I will answer any questions as you have them!

@highscribeofaetherium

GIRL 😭

That’s so sweet of you. I would be honored 😭❤️

Okay!!! In the post above (where I answered Jonas)  I posted the proposed acknowledgements page with your guys’ names in it!!!

@ellette-giselel

“Yes, the Fossers live there,” replied Thaddeus.

He’s hiding something. He is most certainly hiding something. “Were you going to the Catacombs?” demanded Marcus.

“What business would I have there at this hour?” asked the boy, innocently.

“That’s what I would like to know,” replied Marcus.

“Why would I ever go there when it…

[Read more]

OK, I have Chapter 3 ready to send. See if I broke up the dialogue in this one a bit better.

I don’t know if I love this chapter yet, so I’m open to thoughts. Now that I have y’all, I’m starting to really take a critical look at this book WHILE I’m writing it instead of after. It’s helpful to make changes now rather then at the end.

 
Chapter…[Read more]

@trailblazer

Yay! I’m glad the second chapter was smoother.

Ah, I’ll keep that in mind. I was trying to portray that Ignatius just thought that Marcus was a scholar and was inquisitive. I guess I need to make that a little clearer. Thanks!

@savannah_grace2009

That’s an idea! I felt like the dialogue was a little tiresome near the end, but it…[Read more]

@jonas

That’s so great! I know you were having some hard times recently, and it’s good to hear that you’re doing better!

Yeah…spiritual warfare is a real thing!!!!!!!! But now I can see that God is always fighting for me, and I’m never alone!!!

I didn’t feel like that at all! There was a point when I wasn’t able to keep up, but that was just…

[Read more]

This is the one to my old account…idk if it will work or not xD

@acancello

https://pin.it/2GVpm2ehq

@acancello

Oh wait it said that it won’t let me message you because of your message settings 😭😭

@esther-c

Tysm!!!