hanako

@ellette-giselle

I’d join too…except I don’t write enough to have a competition XDD

@savannah_grace2009

Aww, I love that chapter. Sef and Lilitu are adorable.

@savannah_grace2009

You’re right, it does come across as a bit extreme. But Kratos was/is a representation of every Andromedan race, and it’s showing how EVERYONE treats Paynes. Paynes aren’t even seen as “people” anymore (think WWII during the holocaust, except there aren’t any sympathizers). I can make him less…idk, happy that this is happening,…

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@grcr

Thank you!!! <3

@rae

I didn’t know Sef and Lilitu knew each other that long!

Yeah me neither… 

I just came up with it as I was writing it XD

@freed_and_redeemed

I was expecting to not be able to type cuz the keyboard would be fuzzy, but I was pleasantly surprised!

Good for Leon!

And I totally get not wanting to forgive someone. I still can’t bring myself to forgive someone for insulting the memory of my Grandmother not even six months after her passing, let alone someone who killed…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Awwww, so cute <333

I didn’t know Sef and Lilitu knew each other that long!

@freed_and_redeemed

Awh. Don’t crush my hopes like that! I was so happy for Leon before I got to the end. 😠

Im kidding, but seriously. He was so close… 😭😭

@ellette-giselle

Yeah, I got it. Sorry about not replying, but doing so would tempt me to disclose some of my thoughts before July 11th.

Thx for checking though!

@savannah_grace2009

Awwwwww, that is so cute!! I like how you’re connecting the families in this chapter.

“Hi!” she smiled at him. “Do you want to be friends? Look at my drawing! My name’s Sef, what’s your name?”

The boy sat down next to her. “What is it?” he tilted his head to the side, staring at the drawing.

Sef was offended. How c…

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DROPPING THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!

Just so you know, it’s not edited…heh…heh…

so just bear with me XD

Tags: @jonas @grcr @esther-c @highscribeofaetherium @ellette-giselle @rae @and-my-brain-stopped-working

“Please! Someone help me!” Neveah gasped for breath, frantically scanning the crowds for a familiar face.

Where could Sef have gon…

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@freed_and_redeemed

I mean like I’m one to talk… XD

I’m surprised no one’s called the Character Exploitation Hotline on me yet…

@ellette-giselle

Chapter four was really smooth and was a lot easier to follow! I don’t have hardly any comments.

Except maybe one thing…maybe give more detail about why Julius is so mad that Marcus is missing. It just kind of shows Julius “throwing a fit” for no apparent reason. Maybe show us his thoughts about why is is scared/angry and…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I am so sorry…I just can’t keep up with the ammount of chapters you write

That’s insane XD XD

I will try to go over chapter 3/4 soon, I forgot where I left off!!

But about the plot, I was just wondering what your storyline looked like.

I was concerned that you might not have enough plot for a full novel, but since it’s a…[Read more]

@jonas

Okay, that explanation works. However, this being the first chapter and all, readers will assume that that is just an innate characteristic of Paynes. Furthermore, Kratos shouldn’t expect the smell, and you might want to make him remark to himself about it.

Okay good point XD XD

Unless… How do you want the other Andromedan races to come acr…

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@ellette-Giselle

So there’s this unwritten rule on KP about joining new topics, and it basically goes like this, “Pop in wherever you want”. If you want to join the conversation, you just do. If you feel bad about it, don’t, because everyone does it too.

I understand the feeling, like you’re barging into a stranger’s house when you’re new here,…[Read more]