Overwhelmed, mostly. I’ve literally developed a stutter sometimes when I can’t think, or am failing to say something I want to say. I’ve never stuttered before. And I’m trying to hide my true feelings from everyone around me except this one friend I have, who I write too, instead of talk too.Idk,it’s just like some days I want to hide in a hood and fade away into the shadows, run out into the woods and walk among the ruins of Bara-Hack, listening for the supposed ghosts. Sometimes I think about hearing what others hear and searching to find it just to be wind blowing through rocks like a whistle of nature. (I’m not making this up, Bara-Hack is supposed to be haunted, and it is a real village. Despite what online might tell you, only a section is now on private property and things like the graveyard and sheep fold is still open to all who trek into the woods.)
If you haven’t guessed already, my thoughts have been really dark lately. Whenever I think about a charrie,I always think about their darkest moment, not their brightest.
It’s like some other person is living inside of me, whispering dark thoughts in my ear like Wormtongue did to Theoden.
I guess the reason I’m being so honest right now is that I know you probably won’t see this, but if you do, please reply.
@rae I don’t really know what to say other than to say that you are not alone. I’ve been in really dark places before…places I hope to never return to.
I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, and Tho
I haven’t been in a dark place at all, I’ve also been just really thinking about where I need to get my life in check.
I know you feel alone and I know you feel abandoned, but pls, pls, PLS stop keeping your feelings to yourself.
That’s not healthy, and it will hurt you so much more than being honest will. Trust me, I know. Keeping things locked away inside left me in a very broken, very dark place.
I know it feels like no one will understand, and maybe they wont understand completely, but you HAVE to stop keeping these things to yourself.
I am dead serious.
I don’t want to keep hearing you talk like this…for your sake, Rae. It’s not healthy, and you need to be honest with people so you can get encouragement and help.
I know it’s scary and I know it may be hard to open up, but If you can’t talk about these things very well, write them down…talk to someone you trust by writing down how you feel…if you have to, just pretend it’s me youre talking to lol.
But you need to talk to someone.
Don’t make me get on here every so often to tell you to talk to someone. 😏
But in all seriousness, I’m praying for you, girl, and I am not kidding when I say that you need to talk to someone, even if it’s scary
I have been talking to my best friend recently. But not my parents. My Dad knows I’m having a rough time, but he only knows a fraction. My mom knows nothing. I don’t want her to worry.
Maybe that’s the entire reason I’ve mostly closed the door to my emotions. I’m afraid if I let them spill, everyone will worried, not just you and my friend, and Dad. My entire life, I’ve been the Silent One, as my grandmother called it, the one who always told everyone she was fine, when she wasn’t.
Overwhelmed, mostly. I’ve literally developed a stutter sometimes when I can’t think, or am failing to say something I want to say. I’ve never stuttered before. And I’m trying to hide my true feelings from everyone around me except this one friend I have, who I write too, instead of talk too.Idk,it’s just like some days I want to hide in a hood and fade away into the shadows, run out into the woods and walk among the ruins of Bara-Hack, listening for the supposed ghosts. Sometimes I think about hearing what others hear and searching to find it just to be wind blowing through rocks like a whistle of nature. (I’m not making this up, Bara-Hack is supposed to be haunted, and it is a real village. Despite what online might tell you, only a section is now on private property and things like the graveyard and sheep fold is still open to all who trek into the woods.)
If you haven’t guessed already, my thoughts have been really dark lately. Whenever I think about a charrie,I always think about their darkest moment, not their brightest.
It’s like some other person is living inside of me, whispering dark thoughts in my ear like Wormtongue did to Theoden.
I guess the reason I’m being so honest right now is that I know you probably won’t see this, but if you do, please reply.
@rae I don’t really know what to say other than to say that you are not alone. I’ve been in really dark places before…places I hope to never return to.
I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, and Tho
I haven’t been in a dark place at all, I’ve also been just really thinking about where I need to get my life in check.
I know you feel alone and I know you feel abandoned, but pls, pls, PLS stop keeping your feelings to yourself.
That’s not healthy, and it will hurt you so much more than being honest will. Trust me, I know. Keeping things locked away inside left me in a very broken, very dark place.
I know it feels like no one will understand, and maybe they wont understand completely, but you HAVE to stop keeping these things to yourself.
I am dead serious.
I don’t want to keep hearing you talk like this…for your sake, Rae. It’s not healthy, and you need to be honest with people so you can get encouragement and help.
I know it’s scary and I know it may be hard to open up, but If you can’t talk about these things very well, write them down…talk to someone you trust by writing down how you feel…if you have to, just pretend it’s me youre talking to lol.
But you need to talk to someone.
Don’t make me get on here every so often to tell you to talk to someone. 😏
But in all seriousness, I’m praying for you, girl, and I am not kidding when I say that you need to talk to someone, even if it’s scary
I have been talking to my best friend recently. But not my parents. My Dad knows I’m having a rough time, but he only knows a fraction. My mom knows nothing. I don’t want her to worry.
Maybe that’s the entire reason I’ve mostly closed the door to my emotions. I’m afraid if I let them spill, everyone will worried, not just you and my friend, and Dad. My entire life, I’ve been the Silent One, as my grandmother called it, the one who always told everyone she was fine, when she wasn’t.
But I am talking, just not to the world.