Faith Kindred

Oh hey @writefury, didn’t see ya there! 😛
Thanks for the critique— yes, I should hope I’ve improved. I wrote that one… uh… let’s see… two years ago? Or no, I think it was one. Whew… I’ve come a ways since then! 😀

*terrified squeal* Um… 2045?
Or maybe… never. 😛 I honestly don’t know if it even has the potential to be published at all. Historical fiction has to be stunningly outstanding to even do tolerably well in today’s market.

A mad scientist that’s a huge people-person as opposed to the general recluse.

A dark joke. But a legitimately author-ish one, I’ll give you that. 😉
I liked it! I could definitely see from your other writings how you’ve progressed, but this isn’t a bad start at all. Nice and expectant. It piqued my interest for the character, which I believe was your intention. So, good job. 😛

Great job! Good imagery and nice spacing of the lines. 🙂 Free verse poetry has a lot less nitpick opportunities than structured. I couldn’t find anything. But that’s good, right? 😛

Everybody dies.

Okay. That was a joke.

@belegteleri
That’s great your loving poetry. It is worth the effort for sure. This poem’s got a real “real” feel to it. The one thing I might focus on more is poetic imagery (smilies and metaphors). If one could master only one poetic technique, I think I would pick imagery. You’ll love playing around with it because imagery is just plain fun.

Yes, the Teleri are fascinating, and poor Beleg is a wonderful character. *sigh* The best characters usually have the worst ends. :'(

So yeah, watch out for the long lines, and that’s pretty much it for this poem. You did good with the emotion— that’s always something I highly prize in a poem, and when it’s very raw and gripping I like it…[Read more]

Hey, glad you found it interesting @bluejay! 😀

Silly phone and auto correct. Try again.
@kate-flournoy

*horrified gasp* Oh no! That’s terrible!

Well actually, I don’t think you have to worry about it too much. It is a given, after all, that most humans have noses. 😛

I just realized I know nothing about my characters noses. They do have them of course, I may have even mentioned the existence of a nose a few times, but what they are like nobody knows.

Ha… yes, his nose. 🙂 For some reason I tend to give my characters noses that fit their personality types. It’s… kind of weird, when you think about it. 😛

*pauses with mouse over ‘submit’, cringes, moves back to message and inserts*: @Daeus.
*sigh* These tag things will be the death of me yet.

😉

Hey @belegteleri, this is a great poem! I loved it, which is saying a lot since I don’t usually go for free verse. The only thing I would say is watch out for the lines that are much, much longer than other lines, as that can tend to break up the flow.

By the way, I thought Beleg was a bowman, not a shipwright. *wink* 😉

Hey @beleg-teleri, this is a great poem! I loved it, which is saying a lot since I don’t usually go for free verse. The only thing I would say is watch out for the lines that are much, much longer than other lines, as that can tend to break up the flow.

By the way, I thought Beleg was a bowman, not a shipwright. *wink* 😉

An MC who grows up all his life thinking he’s the son of a king, then discovers he’s the son of a pauper.
Actually I’m planning to do that already. 🙂

@kate-flournoy the guy seemed pretty interesting. The scene displayed that he is important and that he has an unordinary life – a secret life to some degree. I also liked that he had a perfectly straight nose because that seemed to give him a personality unique to his type.

I need that. Thoughts start going. How different could the story go if so and so was bad.

Everybody lives above the ground, but it isn’t steampunk.

I need that. Thoughts start going. How different could the story go if so and so was bad.

everybody lives off the surface of the ground, but it isn’t steampunk.

@sarah-h Well, at least as you start.