Ethryndal

@Aislinn-mollisong it looks great, but I’ve seen that image floating around and I’m pretty sure it’s not free; did you find the artist and ask for copyright license?

But as far as composition and layout, it looks great. The only thing is you might want to consider a slightly bolder, straighter font. Something more in tune with the fantasy mood.

Here’s a link to an article I found: https://www.hunker.com/12587271/what-cuts-through-steel

@ethryndal

You know you’re a writer when you google to see what kinds of materials can cut through steel… @dragon-snapper @ethryndal @kate-flournoy

@jane-maree Those are brilliant! Love, love, love. 😉

@emily and @shannon
I’ll pray! Have a great time!

@Emily @Shannon I’ll definitely be praying for your vacation!

@seekjustice You made sense. 😉 And yes, I agree. But not knowing who the main character(s) is/are (or if they’re all main characters), I didn’t comment on it.

@catwing a lot of people have already put in their opinions, but I just wanted to add my two cents worth. I personally think there are too many people mentioned in your blurb. Its confusing. I don’t know how you’ve written the story, but do you have one or two characters that are more main than the rest? If you do, I would rewrite it like…[Read more]

@catwing Yes, it is better. May I make a couple more suggestions? *does it anyway* 😉

I’d remove “you could even say they were abnormal” because it’s redundant with the previous sentence.
Good job using short sentences, but too many at once makes it too bitty – there’s a balance. 🙂
For example, the last two sentences. As written, they would read…[Read more]

Farewell @Aislinn-mollisong

@Catwing okay, see you!! *salutes*

And now I am done writing. Good night. *happy sigh* I am nearly done.

@that_writer_girl_99 @aislinn-mollisong @perfectfifths Thank you! I was having trouble, and this version sounds better…

You Were Called By The King
Best friends Jack, Alex, Cele, John, Chase, and Amelia are not normal. You could even say they’re abnormal. Even before they met a mysterious cloaked messenger. They must save Allore by finding…[Read more]

@perfectfifths Thanks. It does.

@catwing I did a little editing. The first is your original, and the second is my edit version. Your version is a bit wordy and passive, with rather long sentences. Shorter sentence portrays tension and danger. Hope it helps. 🙂

You Were Called By The King
Jack, Alex, Cele, John, Chase, and Amelia are not normal. Even before they met a mysterious…[Read more]

Oh, I forgot a smoother ending sentence… I’ll think on that one. @emily @aislinn-mollisong

Alright, let’s try this… @aislinn-mollisong @that_writer_girl_99

You Were Called By The King

Best friends Jack, Alex, Cele, John, Chase, and Amelia are not normal. You could even say they’re abnormal. That was before they met a mysterious messenger, who says they have to save Allore by finding three jewels and giving them to the king. But…[Read more]

@aislinn-mollisong Yeah… I read it again and you’re right. I’ll cut that. Thanks! (I only have to edit four more chapters. 😉 )
@that_writer_girl_99 I was really unsure of the length… Reveals too much… Therre’s a lot more, but I’ll cut through it and post a new version in a second. *nods*

I’m gonna tag @daeus because he’ll probably be able to tell you more than I can.

In my opinion, this is a bit too long, and it reveals a bit too much about the story. I can’t tell you how or where to cut, but that’s just my thought. You want to keep a bit of the story to reveal later, right?

@aislinn-mollisong Yeah, that could be confusing
@allison-grace Or you have a reusable sticker book, that basically holds stickers. 😛
And I used to make stories up with them…