Ethryndal

@amy-l-klob

I wouldn’t start off with the action right away, although you do need to start off with something interesting, and that’s because of two things. Firstly) The hardship of the protagonist being separated from her normal life and what’s dear to her (which is great, by the way) isn’t, as you said, going to be as impactful unless the…[Read more]

I didn’t mind that section, but I definitely know some people who would be bothered. As long as you have a connection, cause yeah, like Kate said, it kinda did feel drop you random in the middle of gore and evil for no reason, out of context like that.

About the swear words things. Obviously, top swear words are out. Then you get into the picky…[Read more]

@Xonos-darkgrate what @Daeus and the rest already said, basically, on the general subject.

I did, however, find your excerpt slightly disturbing, which is odd, because I’m not usually disturbed by that kind of stuff. It may have been because it lacked subtlety and I kind of just felt like I had my face shoved in a pool of blood for no reason and…[Read more]

@ingridrd  I missed this 😛  Nice! I like how you showed the different backgrounds 🙂

@leumeister  Well, we know for sure that the green one’s name is Rafael 😀

@epicaddie2 Continuing to pray! <3

@alia This is cute! I like the story! I think you could tweak some of the lines, so they don’t sound too short and choppy, but other than that, it’s awesome 🙂

@cindygreen Good idea! Why didn’t I think of that?!

@supermonkey42  @princessfoo Thank you!! 😉

@ingridrd  *licks chops* Ooh! Is it that good that it deserves cake?? 😀

@leumeister My pick would be Iridian, Raphael, and Lachlan

@xonos-darkgrate And my opinion on your excerpt is… no, I don’t think it’s too dark. Although opinions may differ

@xonos-darkgrate I agree with @kate-flournoy

I really dislike things that are blandly clean, and I stories that tackle dark questions and themes, but I don’t think as Christians, we should rely on swear words to drive a story forward. They can easily be implied, and we don’t need to write them directly into the story. That said, I don’t mind made…[Read more]

@xonos-darkgrate  *shudders*  I don’t think it was too dark.  And it’s very well-written!

@mariposa  Yes…but very ill indeed.  🙂

@ingridrd What do you like to draw? Do you make Christmas cards? 🙂

@dekreel  EEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!  Just yes.  I think this calls for a party.  Cake’s on me.

🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰🍰

@xonos-darkgrate

Hey!
So I haven’t read the thing, because I’m a bit of a ‘link-a-phobe’ (not you, just the internet), but my main thoughts are dark themes and darkness in literature in general is that if you’re not comfortable showing it to someone close to you, like your mom or dad or brother or sister or best friend, then it may have gone to…[Read more]

@leumeister I like Camille, Raphael, and Tristan. Tristan is one of my favorite names!

@leumeister  My votes are Celeste, Raphael, and Tristan.  🙂

@catwing

….

Well, @dekreel and @perfectfifths stole my thunder.  But I did know it!   🙂

@dragon-snapper  *trips into the room*  W-what they said…

😉