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Sara replied to the topic Fantasy/Modern School AU RP in the forum General Writing Discussions 4 months ago
You’re good!!! (: I’ve been busy too!
Livia
It helped her to know that someone cared, that she wasn’t alone…she held tight to Lukas’s hands as if it was the only stable thing in her life…and it might as well have been.
“How do you feel now?” Lukas asked her.
Liv hated to disappoint him, but she simply didn’t have the strong…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 4 months ago
Huh…interesting!
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 4 months ago
well, I can say personally that I get annoyed with books that have a complex plot and also make you figure out what the world is and whats going on. I would really prefer to know more. It could be informative where you just tell the reader, or it could be something like one of the kids asking a question and an adult explaining…
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 4 months ago
Alriiight, Chapter 1. Please tell me if you get overwhelmed with all the feedback, because if that happens, I will gladly pause.
I was overwhelmed a bit, but you don’t have to pause, I just needed a day to process everything haha!
Sooo I get this weird feeling about Nico. I’m not entirely convinced he doesn’t love them, nor do I kno…
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 4 months ago
Ugh…I feel like I keep saying things I will regret later XD
Why are you so good at this??? You need to be an editor someday lol
I do have one more question regarding this. If the Andromedans so universally despise and hate Paynes, then where do you get the people who are willing to marry a human and become Paynes themselves?
Before the…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 4 months ago
The only thing I would say was when it said Cassian “ran, trying to outrun himself”
Actually it was “Cassian ran, trying to outrun time itself”.
That still might grate a little bit because of ran/outrun, so I changed it a little bit.
Also, from the perspective of someone who doesn’t know the full story and really is like a reade…
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 4 months ago
@everyone
Sorry for not getting back to you guys! I admit I did get a little overwhelmed…WHY ARE THERE SO MANY HOLES IN MY STORY LIKE DOES IT SUCK THAT MUCH????
Such is life XD
Don’t worry…you guys are helping me a lot! I’m a sensitive person and writing’s something really close to my heart so when I get all these things I’m doing wrong I…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic WIP: (A.D. 60. Two friends in Ancient Rome.) Questions in the forum Historical 4 months ago
I read the last two chapters and that hit me hard too!!!
I almost cried….😭😭😭💔💔
I need to read it all the way through again!
You have a beautiful story and I can’t wait to see what God does with it!
(And I understand perfectly about why you started before Marcus converted, it makes sense now!)
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Sara replied to the topic The Chat Chat in the forum General Writing Discussions 4 months, 1 week ago
I’d join too…except I don’t write enough to have a competition XDD
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 4 months, 1 week ago
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 4 months, 1 week ago
DROPPING THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!
Just so you know, it’s not edited…heh…heh…
so just bear with me XD
Tags: @jonas @grcr @esther-c @highscribeofaetherium @ellette-giselle @rae @and-my-brain-stopped-working
“Please! Someone help me!” Neveah gasped for breath, frantically scanning the crowds for a familiar face.
Where could Sef have gon…
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Sara replied to the topic The Chat Chat in the forum General Writing Discussions 4 months, 1 week ago
I mean like I’m one to talk… XD
I’m surprised no one’s called the Character Exploitation Hotline on me yet…
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Sara replied to the topic WIP: (A.D. 60. Two friends in Ancient Rome.) Questions in the forum Historical 4 months, 1 week ago
Chapter four was really smooth and was a lot easier to follow! I don’t have hardly any comments.
Except maybe one thing…maybe give more detail about why Julius is so mad that Marcus is missing. It just kind of shows Julius “throwing a fit” for no apparent reason. Maybe show us his thoughts about why is is scared/angry and…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic WIP: (A.D. 60. Two friends in Ancient Rome.) Questions in the forum Historical 4 months, 1 week ago
I am so sorry…I just can’t keep up with the ammount of chapters you write
That’s insane XD XD
I will try to go over chapter 3/4 soon, I forgot where I left off!!
But about the plot, I was just wondering what your storyline looked like.
I was concerned that you might not have enough plot for a full novel, but since it’s a…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 4 months, 1 week ago
Okay, that explanation works. However, this being the first chapter and all, readers will assume that that is just an innate characteristic of Paynes. Furthermore, Kratos shouldn’t expect the smell, and you might want to make him remark to himself about it.
Okay good point XD XD
Unless… How do you want the other Andromedan races to come acr…
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Sara replied to the topic The Chat Chat in the forum General Writing Discussions 4 months, 1 week ago
WHYYY
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 4 months, 1 week ago
Thank you for everything Whaley!! This means a lot <3
Both ways work well!! Whatever makes more sense to you; I’m just throwing random ideas to help you brainstorm
Ohhhh gotcha! Thanks XD
I think what Jonas was mentioning (please correct me if I’m wrong!) is before, there was some moral grayness and room for human variation, esp…
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Sara replied to the topic How dark is too dark? in the forum General Writing Discussions 4 months, 1 week ago
Well…look at my novel!
It has several dark elements, like child abuse, child neglect/abandonment, murder, evil guys running the world, hatred, prison camps, etc.
But the reason these elements are in my story is because my story is an allegory about Light and Darkness, good and evil!
I think your story is fine (unless you’re…[Read more]
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 4 months, 1 week ago
The greatest enjoyment I got from the prologue was the twist from ‘we’re doing this to save the baby’ to ‘what’s this baby doing here?’ That was great.
Really?!?! That’s awesome…I guess I’m keeping it now XD XD
You should think about how strong of an allegory you want. Once you say Jesus, all readers will know this is a Christian a…
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Sara replied to the topic NEW and IMPROVED WIP!!!!! in the forum Novel Critique Requests 4 months, 1 week ago
Wow…this is a lot to think about and really helpful! Thank you!!
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it as it is, it really evokes a certain mood, and has really strong imagery.
Okay good XD
Yeah, the first line of the book is always the hardest because that’s how the readers decide whether or not to keep reading!
These three par…
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