@dbhgodreigns
Active 8 years, 1 month ago- Rank: Wise Jester
- Total Posts: 89
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@hannah-krynicki Re-education? Sound more like brainwashing. Definitely like the Soviet Union. That little paragraph about the pups being taken from their mother is foreshadowing for something later in the book.
In case anyone is wondering, the Raven stands for the Orthodox church. (At least according to my memory of a literary analysis I read for school last year)
@hannah-krynicki I agree with you. I also noticed the voice, which I thought was kind of tongue of cheek. He writes the facts, doesn’t expound on them, yet nonetheless there is a sort of irony. (ex., near the end of Chapter 2, the milk disappears)
On another note, this one structural, the inciting event takes place at about 13% through the book, exactly where it should. (The inciting event being the rebellion against Farmer Brown)
What do you guys think?
Nice excerpt! One thing I thought of. Why can’t the MC just say that the food is poisonous?
I have the book. Agreed.
- This reply was modified 8 years, 6 months ago by David B. Hunter.
I read Animal Farm for school last year, and it should be in a box somewhere. Now just to find the right one.
When are we going to start?
Here’s my votes!
1. Chasing Vermeer
2. Animal Farm
3. Cloak of the LightI’m open to audiobooks.
April 29, 2016 at 3:20 pm in reply to: THE THING YOU WOULD HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR IF YOU KNEW ABOUT IT (I assume) #12148I’m in! What types of books are we going to dissect?
- This reply was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by David B. Hunter.
April 28, 2016 at 10:05 pm in reply to: Let's take this thing apart and see what makes it tick #12093Great film.
Here’s my thoughts on some of the different structural points.
Inciting Incident: Girl walks into square
Key Event: Second musician shows up.
Second Act: When the stakes rise, and the musicians are fighting over the coin.
Midpoint: Coin going down drain. (This changes the trajectory of the story and like @Adry_Grace said, the protagonist seems to shift)
Third Act: Little girl plays violin and gets large donation.
Climax: The little girl throws the coin into the fountain. Which, little side note here, is foreshadowed at the beginning.
What do you guys think?
- This reply was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by David B. Hunter.
What would you want a betareader to look for?
I enjoyed Tim Shoemaker’s detective series (which I received as a Christmas gift.)
Showing vs. telling is powerful. Not only in describing a setting, but also in the emotions of a character ex.
Oliver sat at his desk in his dorm and stared at the little squiggly lines that made up his exam. He played a discordant solo with his number two pencil and the desk’s polished, wood surface. What if he failed? Would he lose his scholarship? His stomach started to chase its tail like Spot back home. Oliver stopped his concert piece midway through its third movement, and poised his pencil above the paper.
His overflowing waste basket a couple steps away caught his eye. Funny. Somehow he had forgotten to empty it last Saturday. He put his pencil aside. He’d have plenty of time to finish the exam before it was due on Friday.
That may have been a little over the top, but it more interesting than “Oliver had an exam coming up; he was nervous”. And it allows us to see a facet of Oliver’s character, he’s a procrastinator.
Also, is Joshua writing this letter because he wants to, or someone else (parent, teacher, pastor, etc.) is forcing him to. The mood of each of these two letters could be much different.
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