David B. Hunter

Everyone stares at me expectantly. I look around, waiting for someone to talk. The man with red hair folds his hands on the table.
“Whenever you’re ready,” he says, impatiently.
I slowly rise from my chair. “Um…well, to be honest, I’m not really sure what’s going on here.” I glance at the big man, and his expression is confused but also cold.…[Read more]

Now that I just looked back at the beginning of your chapter, it’s really just that paragraph that starts with I glance over to the mirror on the wall… that has a lot of info. 🙂

@zoe-wingfeather
Hmmm…I am very interested! Hope you don’t mind if I point out one thing that I noticed: I think the beginning is good but the reader is given a lot of information in just a few paragraphs. (And by the way, I struggle with info-dumping…like, majorly!) Other than that I really liked it!!! 🙂 Nice job, Chloe.

@writefury
HILARIOUS!!! And so creative… 🙂 !

@writefury
HILARIOUS!!! And so creative… :)!

Yay, problem solved!!!

I got the same thing when I clicked on my name…

Also you say I asked Arthur which should be I ask Arthur. 🙂 And a little later in the last paragraphs you change completely into past tense. 🙂

Also you say I asked Arthur which should be I ask Arthur. 🙂 And a little later in the last paragraph you change completely into past tense. 🙂

@adry_grace
Very good! I did notice a few places where you switched from present to past tense. At the end of the second paragraph, you say I got up clumsily. Also you say we weren’t not sure which I assume means we aren’t sure. But anyway, great job!!!

I’m an INFJ-A…how interesting.

@sarah-h
It is pretty cool…I used it for characterization a little while ago.

Wow, sis ( @gretald ), I never knew you were that violent!!! LOL 🙂

I might not be very good at this but here goes:

Three little bugs and a bee,
Were sitting, one day, in a tree.
The bee tried to sting them,
And soon they de-winged him,
Leaving the bee in the tree.

@jadamae
Not really…at all. 🙂 I love your name by the way!