Hannah Whatley

Fair enough. 😉

@gretald This is pretty good over all. I like the style. One thing is that it flies through things too fast. Like Kate said though, flashbacks would really help.

So with that, I guess I’m on to red ink.

.”The bullies, who my mom had made me invite, too, were definitely” Take out the “too”
.”which I can tell you I didn’t like at all.” Take out t…[Read more]

Ah… very valid point, @Daeus. I don’t think I’ve ever delved there in my quests for writerly wisdom. 😉 I have to say I agree… wow. I just learned something I was totally missing. Thanks so much! 😀

Sure @kate-flournoy

The characteristics your character has come out when you describe his reactions. If a character says, “I wish you well” at a parting, that shows us very little about the character. If a character says the same thing in the same situation after they have been told that their grandpa just died, that means a whole lot more.…[Read more]

I’m writing now… tag along if you like. @Daeus @bluejay @faithdk @hope @anyone-who-wants-to…

@gretald I know, right? We know all these awesome techniques, and some of us *gulp* sound so wise and learned, but there’s such a difference between knowing/talking about something and actually implementing it! 😛

@Daeus wow, okay, yeah, I was thinking more like plot-changing reactions. I totally agree about character minor reactions being important too, but I don’t know if you and I are thinking of the same thing when we say that… would you mind elaborating?

@kate-flournoy Thank you so much for the feedback!!! 🙂 I really appreciate it! Ah, I see what you’re saying about telling vs. showing. I know the difference in my mind, but it’s hard to actually write showing-ly. 😉 I’ll have to go back and edit like crazy. 🙂

Oops, tag: @gretald

Ooh… nice emotional punch in the gut! 😛 The strongest thing, I’m gonna say, is the emotional impact of everything that happened in the story. The story is adorable— very sweet.
I think your prose needs a little work, though. Not the structure of it— but using it to capture all the untapped drama of a character’s inner world.
For instance,…[Read more]

You want it to be timeless? 🙂 That’s a good thing. I do think that’s something very worthwhile to strive for.
But I also think it would help if you included the best of both worlds.

That said, you still did a lovely job. Keep it up! 😀

Ah… I see. Wow, I’ll have to think about it! 😀

Oh, and let me add something.

“Immediate reactions to another character are just as important as major plot reactions but are more often missed.”

@rolena-hatfield paper always does that. In fact, I just lost some cash today and found that I had accidentally thrown it away in the trash can. We should switch to gold and computers.

@kate-flournoy I like that fancy seal.
Ok, I think you’ve got a point. It really is even more about reaction. I’m not talking about plot though. That is also 99%…[Read more]

@hope So is the princesses secret dancing castle a hideout from the rebels? Does the shoemaker play a role in your story? I always wondered what the poor shoemaker thought. hehehe!
Oh you’re going to have so much fun with this retelling. The adaptions of this story make it one of my favorite fairy tales, so I’m so glad you’re making your own! The…[Read more]

@hope So is the princesses secret dancing castle a hideout from the rebels? Does the shoemaker play a role in your story? I always wondered what the poor shoemaker thought. hehehe!
Oh you’re going to have so much fun with this retelling. The adaptions of this story make it one of my favorite fairy tales, so I’m so glad you’re making your own!…[Read more]

Here’s a snop of the story as it was written from it’s German origins.

Twelve princesses, each more beautiful than the last, sleep in twelve beds in the same room. Every night, their doors are securely locked. But in the morning, their dancing shoes are found to be worn through as if they had been dancing all night. The king, perplexed, promises…[Read more]

Here’s a snop of the story as it was written from it’s German origins.

Twelve princesses, each more beautiful than the last, sleep in twelve beds in the same room. Every night, their doors are securely locked. But in the morning, their dancing shoes are found to be worn through as if they had been dancing all night. The king, perplexed, promises…[Read more]

You know what, I don’t even know this story… can it be briefly sketched? Or do you know where I could read it?