Hannah Whatley

@f5a8c3e92 yes, much better. They pretty much already caught everything that needed help, I think.
Weaving the dream thing in was a great idea. Made it a lot more intriguing and set up the premise quite nicely. 😉

@That_Writer_Girl_99 um… Kara? *scrunches her eyes up* Shortish light brown hair… plain face that could be pretty if she smiled… (like most faces. 😀 ) fairly big eyes that are probably somewhere between blue and grey… almost blunt nose… probably fairly large-boned when it comes to build, but not particularly big. She looks bookish to…[Read more]

@that_writer_girl_99 Not sure exactly what you’re referring to, but I think everything I said was good. Keep at it! May the ideas be with you.

Woah woah, hold it people. I rule a separate kingdom. Josiah and I are in alliance. *looks warily at raspberries hoping they aren’t poisoned*

@northerner @theliterarycrusader *comes running in out of breath* I heard the words insurrection and poison! *quickly reads the last couple of posts*
*applauds Brianna for taking care of the problem* *resolves to warn @daeus not to eat any more raspberries or scones, at least, not ones from Brianna’s kitchen*

*joins in the cry for our reigning…[Read more]

@dragon-snapper @jenali Signing off. I didn’t really come up with any ideas, but it should probably be tense enough. We’ll see.

@dragon-snapper @jenali Ok, now I’m back.

@dragon-snapper @jenali Ooops, sorry. I guess I have other work I need to do.

@dragon-snapper @jenali I’ll join in. I’m trying to figure out how to add another layer of conflict to my climax.

@That_Writer_Girl_99 yeah. What he said. XD

@That_Writer_Girl_99 I’ll just repeat what Kate said that the character voice is really well done. I’m especially surprised you’ve been able to get this good without anyone critiquing you. Honestly, that’s downright crazy.

It does seem that the plot needs some development though, as well as the question of what to do with the elementals.

I…[Read more]

@That_Writer_Girl_99 ooooohhhh… you know what? It looks like you’ve got really good potential here for a disillusionment story. I really, really love the idea of the world outside being even worse than the prison.
What do you know about theme/message and building your story around it?
Because if you do have the world outside be worse than the…[Read more]

@That_Writer_Girl_99 no, I know. It isn’t. 😛 Have you come up with any ideas so far? Need help brainstorming? Seriously, just dump them all right here and I’ll help you pick through them if I can. That’s what we do here. We’re all writers after all… 😉 Even if you think the ideas are dumb, please— share them. I have dumb ideas all the time.…[Read more]

@That_Writer_Girl_99

Wow.
Okay, first of all, may I just say congratulations on the very strong character voice. Most people go for the snazzy voices of characters like Tam to carry their story if it’s first person, but I love the subtle yet very distinct tone of Kara’s. It’s beautiful.

In fact, your prose itself is actually very strong, and I…[Read more]

@That_Writer_Girl_99 I totally get that. You’ll be fine. I promise. 😉 Tag me when you do post and I’ll get back to you with opinions as soon as I’ve done a thorough read through. 🙂

@That_Writer_Girl_99 ha. XD Not at all…

@That_Writer_Girl_99 *salutes* reporting for duty! And really, we’re not monsters. 😀 Just start a new topic over in General Writing Discussions or something and we’ll have a nice little critiquing party with cake and brownies and punch for everyone. 😀 (Virtual, of course. *wink*)

@feedingmygoldfish Piebald squirrels?! *goes to look these things up* What?! Awwwww!!!!! That’s the best thing ever! I’m still partial to my favorite pals the black squirrel. No matter how cute those piebald’s are.

Ah, yes! A book with a squirrel as the main character (and Marvin McNutt! Hahaha! I love that so much!)! I’m so happy right now :p…[Read more]

Hi, @moriahs. Glad to find another historical fiction lover. I can’t say I love the research, but if I can handle that, it’s one of my favorite genres.

@Daeus yessir. I stopped doing this wonderful thing once I approached (aka got within ten chapters of :’D) the climax and started really having to rethink you-know-who. My typical writing night was too messy to have too much competition or I would have imploded from the double pressure. 😛 Once I get past the chapter I’m on (wherein about eight…[Read more]