BlueJay

Oh, one more question. Do you prefer the ending lines:

“Awestruck to see that in dark the lights dance”

or

“Awestruck to see that in night the lights dance”

???

Thanks everyone! @emma-flournoy @ariella-newheart @rochellaine

I think I’ve got it now. I’ll come back to this a few months from now to see if I can make any small improvements, but I think it’s generally solid. 😀

@skredder  Hopefully her hair is how you imagined it…and I wasn’t sure about her eyes so I just did brown.  🙂

And closer…

@ethryndal  Have you done mine yet?

@skredder  I may try her today or tomorrow…maybe.  🙂

@daeus Thankee. *bows* Well, I tried incorporating small ‘good’ things and it’s been a lot let dismal lately. I think I just let Ike gnaw on dismal’ness’ for too long. XD

@sarah-anson I really like the italicized bit you said there. *nods* I agree. Thanks!

@joy wow, a job overseas! Did you have to move or is it like an online thing?  What are you doing? Sorry, I’m a naturally curious person. 😳

I totally understand that. What genre do you write?

Yes, a week vacation might be just what you need for your writing. Take that vacation and headbutt it in the face Lol. 😂

HC

@Daeus

‘Most comely he smiled’ is better

And little Teedletiden he fashioned for the trees
For all of these a city, Letharill, he made
Its glory was established that it should never fade[ I’m unsure about the meter in these last three lines, especially lines 1 and 3.]

Maybe instead: ‘And little Teedletiden he fashioned for trees

For all t…[Read more]

@anne-of-lothlorien  AHH those are great!

Waaaaait, did you copy mine? XD

@warrioroftherealm *salutes* Awesome!

@christianna-hellwig @rochellaine @emma-flournoy @that_writer_girl_99

Thanks so much for your suggestions, everyone! Here’s what I have now.

“Oh, stars that remember the firstthings forgotten
How earth and its peoples were early begotten
They looked and beheld through a pane of dark glass
The earth in a swirling, untamable mass
From darkness f…[Read more]

@ingridrd that’s ok, sometimes you just need to rant.

Don’t worry, I feel you. I’m at the opposite end of the spectrum. I am out of school with time to write but instead I find myself running from it. Explain that.

And hey, if you ever need to rant I am totally here to rant to.

@daeus

Well done sir. The style and feel is very reminiscent of Tolkien (in a good way). #Silmarillion

One of the highlights of my afternoon!

Jackson E. Graham

http://jacksonegraham.wixsite.com/jackson-e-graham

@christianna-hellwig Thanks so much! I’ll take a look over this as soon as I get a chance.

Whoops @introvert_girl

@dekreel  Oh okay!  Hmmm…I’m not sure that sounds very feminine.

@introvert-girl  Persephone!!!!  YAS.  🙂

@skredder  I’ve seen that movie! Unfortunately I’m pretty sure it’s her last name

@ingridrd  Yes it’s a girl. … Can Peregrine be a girl’s name?

@rochellaine  That’s funny — I was JUST on that site! Unfortunately I didn’t find names I like :-/

@emma-flournoy Ha! Well, we’ll see. I’d certainly love to.