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  • Ava Blue posted an update 1 year, 11 months ago

    Hey all, no worries if you don’t see this but I’d really appreciate any prayers 🙂
    I hate to complain but I’ve kind of been having anxiety every waking moment of my life for the past 2 months and lately it’s gotten super fun, like I wake up at 3-5 every morning because I’m having an anxiety attack and then I have another one before I fall asleep every night 🥳end me🎊 I wouldn’t normally post about this kind of thing but nothing I’ve tried has helped thus far and it would be nice to be able to do things without shaking lol.
    But yeah if you have a moment, prayers would be sick thank you 😎 (I really do appreciate it tysm to anyone who sees this💙💙💙)

    • I will definitely pray for you! That sounds really unpleasant! 💙💙💙

      • @mineralizedwritings Sorry for the late reply, but I really appreciate that! I’m feeling so much better now though I still have my moments. I think I just needed to talk to someone about it 🙂

        • Glad you are feeling better! Talking to people really helps. Idk if you are at a place to do this, sometimes it only works for me after the fact, but I like to write about the stuff that stresses me out. I’ve never had it as bad as you, but I’ve had some depression before, and I have a character like that. It just feels really good to write somebody who gets exactly how you feel. I’ll keep praying for you!

          • Oh it absolutely helps, and I appreciate the suggestion! I’ve been trying to keep a journal but it’s difficult to fight the temptation to just fill it with cartoon scribbles XD
            This is kinda weird but whenever I’m mad/sad/stressed it helps me out to make whatever I’m dealing with into a comic. Comedy is my coping strategy for literally everything 💀
            And in the end, this is all just handy first-hand experience for writing my characters with anxiety disorders (suffering for art les go💪)

            • Oh i get that! My book is hopefully going to be in comic form one day. I’ve got a scene where theres these two boys laying around (one has depression, the other feels guilty about something awhile ago) and one of them starts talking about how he would like to sleep forever (like that guy in the voyage of the dawn treader who falls into an enchanted sleep? There have been times I wanted to be like him 😂) and they’re both like yeah… we could sleep so long we die. Ok I obviously came up with that during the night 🤣 and the actual scene in my book won’t be nearly that bad. It was just a scene I thought about what if it was in my book.

    • @mineralizedwritings ooo I want my stories to be graphic novels too!! Especially Bronwen and Ilwyn’s stories. And I like that dialogue, I can completely relate to that for the majority of the school week lol
      I always write my best emotional scenes when I’m actually feeling the emotion, so if I don’t have a notebook handy I try to describe what I’ feeling in my head and get a really accurate description so that I can use it later lol

      • Yeah…school. I do online, and it’s sooo much less stressful (If you can stay ontop of work by yourself) because socializing is just not a big deal. It’s like internet culture, but in school XD. I do online college now, and it’s not as fun, but I still don’t have to see people. I might take some in person classes this spring 😬 the thought stresses me lol.

        Yeah, I do that too! I also like to turn off lights if I’m writing something really sad, it’s like my sadness channels better into the writing if I’m really feeling it 🤣

        • Yeees I’m doing online school and it’s so great for that exact reason. Socializing in person is scary 🙀 not a fan. And it’s so much easier to make friends too lol. Online college would be awesome! I’m only 15 so it’s still a while off though. Unfortunately the college I want to go to is in-person only 😛

          And yes I do that as well XD I actually have some sweet LED lights in my room so I also do mood lighting hehe. When I’m writing a cozy scene (man I write a lot of boring fluff) I set my lights on a kind of warm, glowy orange that reminds me of firelight. Then I do red for angrier or more energetic scenes, pink for happy scenes, etc. (I do this when I’m writing *or* drawing btw)
          It’s kinda fun 😀

          • @ava-blue
            Lol the in person college classes care me XD
            I started college at 16 this year, we have this thing in Washington called running start, you can take college classes for highschool credit and college credit at once, and the classes are free except for fees and books. So you graduate hs with a AA degree, if everything is done right. It is kinda hard 😅 but i think it’s worth it. They’ve got some great classes but no digital art? And no animation? I was kinda bummed lol.

            • Really?? I’m in Washington (state) and I haven’t heard about that, I’ll look into it! Do you know if you can take summer classes? If there are any art/music related classes I’m for sure gonna ask my mom about that.

    • Ty fren :3 I appreciate it!

    • @ava-blue

      No way! Your in Washington too?!
      yeah! A couple things about it:
      I believe it only works through community colleges
      You can only take classes over 100 (art 101 is over 100)
      You need to make 15 credits a quarter, and still meet hs requirements. 5 college credits=1 hs credit. So generally you will take 3 5 credit classes a quarter. At my college, private music lessons are only one credit, so it doesn’t satisfy hs requirements of a 5 credit class. If you take more than 15 credits a quarter you have to pay for them. It works in partnership with your highschool, so getting a hold of a counselor at your highschool is the best way to learn about the options. You have to have taken algebra 2 to take college math classes. I didn’t know this, so I took geometry instead for my 2nd near of hs. Well, here I am now, taking 4 college classes and a highschool algebra 2 class because I didn’t know better. Certain hs classes that are required have a college equivalent (varies by college) for instance civics may be required by your hs, you’ll have to make sure you take the college class equivalent to graduate hs. It’s not low stress, but if you keep up with work it’s not so bad imo. Beware of late work though, it’s college requirements so it’s your responsibility to check farther out in the calander and plan accordingly for the big essays and such. A lot of music classes are not 5 credits sadly. Music theory might be, but I’m not sure it’s prerequisite (required to take it before) is. Each quarter fee is about 180$, which is nowhere near as bad as college. I’m not sure about summer classes, I think that is possible. If you take a college class (like precalculas) that turns out to be too hard, and you fail, you failed a hs class too, and it must be made up, summer or next school year. Sorry for the info dump, hope that helps! Are you east or west side? If your east side I could tell you about sfcc (where I go) but like everyone seems to live on the west (I was born in redmond I think? we moved east though)
      Also I was a bit surprised at the essay length, fair warning my english 101 essays have to be like 4 pages long. Not trying to scare you though! It’s doable, and the class options I think are better than hs.

      • Don’t apologize, I appreciate it! That’s all very helpful. I gtg for dinner but I’ll read through that when I get a chance 😀
        ttyl! (sorry for cutting it short 😛 )

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