Ariella Newheart

@kate-flournoy
Wow, that’s intense. I like it! 🙂

@kate-flournoy
Wow; intense. I like it! 🙂

@faithdk
Wow, that’s awesome! I love it…I can totally visualize what’s happening. 🙂

This was for the Writing Prompt with the girl on the step and the guy in black…

He couldn’t tell Rachel; he would leave without her notice. Her grief might make it harder for him to get away.
Jack slipped quietly out of the bed. His clothes and backpack waited for him on the chair. Grabbing them, Jack hurried out of the room. The hallway f…[Read more]

@writefury
This is an awesome idea! 🙂 🙂 🙂

@kate-flournoy
Okay, wow! This is so good! Amen, sister… 🙂

Gavin stares at me sadly. “You mean you don’t remember my nicknames for you? I always called you Weirdo. Or Nerd.”
I try again. “No, I mean my real name. Like the one my parents gave me.” Which brought me to another question. Where were my parents? If I even had any…
“Wren.”
“What?” I ask.
“Wren. Your name is Wren.”
. . .

@overcomer
Hey, no problem! *beams* 🙂

@overcomer
Great poem! I love it…Dust and Ink is a very creative name. 🙂

“It was brilliantly constructed,” Gavin continues,”I remember you asking me if I wanted to give it a try. I said I would. And I did.” His voice trails off, and then we adds,”worst decision I ever made.”
I shift my weight from one foot to the other. “What happened then?” I ask.
Gavin stares at me. “All I remember is swirling colors; when I woke up,…[Read more]

Everyone stares at me expectantly. I look around, waiting for someone to talk. The man with red hair folds his hands on the table.
“Whenever you’re ready,” he says, impatiently.
I slowly rise from my chair. “Um…well, to be honest, I’m not really sure what’s going on here.” I glance at the big man, and his expression is confused but also cold.…[Read more]

Now that I just looked back at the beginning of your chapter, it’s really just that paragraph that starts with I glance over to the mirror on the wall… that has a lot of info. 🙂

@zoe-wingfeather
Hmmm…I am very interested! Hope you don’t mind if I point out one thing that I noticed: I think the beginning is good but the reader is given a lot of information in just a few paragraphs. (And by the way, I struggle with info-dumping…like, majorly!) Other than that I really liked it!!! 🙂 Nice job, Chloe.