Aranel

@freed_and_redeemed

I mean like I’m one to talk… XD

I’m surprised no one’s called the Character Exploitation Hotline on me yet…

@ellette-giselle

Chapter four was really smooth and was a lot easier to follow! I don’t have hardly any comments.

Except maybe one thing…maybe give more detail about why Julius is so mad that Marcus is missing. It just kind of shows Julius “throwing a fit” for no apparent reason. Maybe show us his thoughts about why is is scared/angry and…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I am so sorry…I just can’t keep up with the ammount of chapters you write

That’s insane XD XD

I will try to go over chapter 3/4 soon, I forgot where I left off!!

But about the plot, I was just wondering what your storyline looked like.

I was concerned that you might not have enough plot for a full novel, but since it’s a…[Read more]

@jonas

Okay, that explanation works. However, this being the first chapter and all, readers will assume that that is just an innate characteristic of Paynes. Furthermore, Kratos shouldn’t expect the smell, and you might want to make him remark to himself about it.

Okay good point XD XD

Unless… How do you want the other Andromedan races to come acr…

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@freed_and_redeemed

WHYYY

@whalekeeper

Thank you for everything Whaley!! This means a lot <3

Both ways work well!! Whatever makes more sense to you; I’m just throwing random ideas to help you brainstorm

Ohhhh gotcha! Thanks XD

I think what Jonas was mentioning (please correct me if I’m wrong!) is before, there was some moral grayness and room for human variation, esp…

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@theshadow

Well…look at my novel!

It has several dark elements, like child abuse, child neglect/abandonment, murder, evil guys running the world, hatred, prison camps, etc.

But the reason these elements are in my story is because my story is an allegory about Light and Darkness, good and evil!

I think your story is fine (unless you’re…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

The greatest enjoyment I got from the prologue was the twist from ‘we’re doing this to save the baby’ to ‘what’s this baby doing here?’ That was great.

Really?!?! That’s awesome…I guess I’m keeping it now XD XD

You should think about how strong of an allegory you want. Once you say Jesus, all readers will know this is a Christian a…

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@jonas

Wow…this is a lot to think about and really helpful! Thank you!!

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it as it is, it really evokes a certain mood, and has really strong imagery.

Okay good XD

Yeah, the first line of the book is always the hardest because that’s how the readers decide whether or not to keep reading!

These three par…

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@rae

Aww that’s so sad 😭

WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME

Sorry for my never-ending questions…just trying to get some context before I share my thoughts XD XD

@ellette-giselle

Do you know how long your novel is supposed to be?? Like is it a novella or a full length novel?

@thearcaneaxiom

You’re good!!! You’re probably busy with super cool adult stuff 🤣🤣

That means a lot!!! (:

@ellette-giselle

Thank you so much <3

@rae

Aww, really?!?! But girl, your writing’s AMAZING!!!

Thanks though!!! <3

@theshadow

Hi! I don’t think we’ve met before…

I’m Sara, a chocolate consuming, emotionally unstable, sleep deprived, algebra loving, public school attending sophomore (in highschool)! (I mean technically I’m a sophomore since school’s out for the summer so I’m…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Ohhh okay that makes sense. I thought you meant that you had nothing written out XD

I did that too, with bullet points, it works lol

Can you share the plot with me then? It would really help me lol

@ellette-giselle

I love how you introduced Cassian’s character. I mean, man, I liked him from the firs paragraph.

Oops…I was going to quote you but forgot….lol

I would like to know more about the Paynes as well. Like, why are they outcast, what is the race mixing thing, etc. etc. If that gets explained later then you can just leave it and l…

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Well, there has never been a day when I can’t write.

Girl, I wish. I go to public school and so I leave at 7:30 and don’t get back home until almost 5, and that’s without sports and plays and other things! When volleyball starts I won’t get home until like 7:30!!!!

What grade are you in? I honestly assumed you were graduated lol

Most of the tim…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

No, i don’t have anything written out. I mean, I  know what’s going to happen, but I really don’t want to say. However, if you need me to tell you for editing purposes then I will.

Okay…you need to write it out in an organized plot.

I know it’s boring and annoying, but before you write anymore, you really should start writin…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Oooooo So, so good!! I LOVE the name Cassian!! Oh man, this is so good! I can already envision this going so, so good. Oh man, I love it!

Really?? thank you so much! Honestly I get a little mad at my story sometimes because it’s not as good as I wanted it to be XD

Ok, the killing the tree thing was a little strange. Explanation…

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