Hannah

Any critique I have has already been mentioned. I like it. 🙂

@Jess praying lots!
He designed the machine they’re using for his surgery?!

@rolena-hatfield I really enjoy getting together with family and spending time with them.

@Daeus soooo… I read Cry the Beloved Country. I absolutely loved it. It’s a really unique book— not just the odd original punctuation, but the style, and the relative flatness of the plot, and yet it’s such a stirring book. It’s like reading a poem or something. 😀 Also it was a thinking book, not a preaching book, which I love for obvious…[Read more]

Yay, it worked.

@Daeus These three sentences

Matthew returns years later with wealth and power, ready to fulfill his vengeance. Assuming the mysterious guise of Edwin Brook he begins his struggle for justice. Uncanny events, however, keep thwarting his every move.

sound choppy to me.
Too ‘this, and this. Then this, and this. Then this.’ I think it would…[Read more]

@Daeus yes. Much better. I agree with @Jess that that sentence still seems to be having trouble— perhaps because all subjects of that sentence are not necessarily in the same categorical thought-family, if you know what I mean?— but otherwise I love it.

Otherwise, @daeus I think it’s great!

@daeus Very good!
I have a few suggestions, though.
In the second sentence, you use the word ‘his’ quite a bit. Overly so.

His dedication to his wronged family is powerful enough to bring him through any trial, but his youth and inexperience hold him back.

Maybe you could write it as: “Dedication to his wronged family can bring him…[Read more]

@Audrey-Caylin not at all. I’m guessing this is probably something we all go through at one point or another. Glad I was in a position to help. 🙂

@Christi-Eaton *bows* Happy to be of service. 😉

Hello @Audrey-Caylin! So great to have you here!

And this is an awesome discussion. It never really gets old. ‘Christian fiction’ can actually be a pretty broad category depending on your perspective and definition, but I’ll do my best to give the short answer that pretty much sums it all up for me, otherwise we’d be stuck here until we turned…[Read more]

@Ethryndal yes, I’ll pray. I know it’s hard having to work family around difficult health issues.

@Christi-Eaton yes. I don’t think there was a single thing about it I disliked. The one thing I was a little miffed on for The Force Awakens was that the plot was basically ‘destroy this huge weapon that is blowing up entire planets’ which was pretty much the plot of A New Hope, but the plot for Rogue One was perfect. And perfectly executed. And…[Read more]

@Christi-Eaton yes! I know! I didn’t cry over it (for some reason I seem to have stopped crying about a year ago? 😛 ) but I was stumbling around in an emotional daze for the rest of the day. It was awesome.

Ha!

I’m in. Where do we sign up to fund this thing? 😀

if I get a book with illustrations, the first thing I do is go through at look at all the pictures.

@Daeus ha! Me too! 😀

@Daeus whoa! Easy there! It’s not that bad. 😛 And the forum doctor is not on call either, so settle down. I don’t want to have to be repairing fractured skulls on a moment’s notice. *shakes finger*

But I definitely recommend you definitely see this one as soon as definitely possible. 😀