Allison

@highscribe

I think this is really good! You have some really nice prose.

Thank you so much!

I corrected the things you suggested and you’re right, I think it will flow a lot better! Thank you so much, you have been very helpful! <3

@jonas

I think I asked before why he insisted on this, and you said that it was to sweeten the deal for Kaden. Personally, I feel like you should show Kaden as having more hesitation if this is going to work. To me, it seems like they have already made up their minds to become Pythonos. Sure, they’re scared, but to me, it still doesn’t convey a s…

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@jonas @highscribeofaetherium

Oh my goodness you guys are so good!!!!

I actually have noticed a couple of the things you’ve said before but for some reason I forgot to change them… *facepalm* I’ll go fix them now before I forget again lol!

@savannah_grace2009

Yay, another section! 😆 It looks good! I don’t have too much to say about, but I thought Jonas’s critiques were good.

@savannah_grace2009

I think this is really good! You have some really nice prose.

The sensation made her want to scream, cry out in agony…

You don’t really need an ellipsis here. A period would work better.

“It’s those cursed Paynes,” Odessa muttered, anger flashing in her violet eyes.

This makes it sound like Kaden and Sevryn have tried to get…[Read more]

@loopylin

It is very cute ambience. I listened to it half-asleep in my bed. It also has Wirt&Greg lore, things like Greg sneaking in to help record.

@loopylin

All corrections noted, thank yooouuu. The second line does look weird; that should be the imperative form but the rest of the sentence still feels clunky. I will bring it up in class.

Just curious, what curriculum are you taking? Do you use the Familia Romana book?

I do! My co-op uses Henle, but I couldn’t learn anything from it. Really…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Well, I do have that handy google doc, so it isn’t terribly hard, especially considering that there are only three groups.

@whalekeeper @ellette-giselle @raxforge @hybridlore @rae @grcr @loopylin

Ellis — Elderstrand (Group 1)

The newcomer stared in astonishment as the armored creatures sagged and went still. “That was…incredible…” he stammered, still in shock. “No wonder–”

Just then, there was a prolonged wailing blast of a horn. The man stiffened. “We have…[Read more]

@power

YOU ASKED FOR IT.

*Tips hat* All power to you, my dear sir.

@jonas I really appreciate how you manage to keep track of everyone

Oh, and @rae, do you need help deciding on a place to introduce your new character?

@whalekeeper @ellette-giselle @raxforge @hybridlore @rae @grcr @loopylin @the_lost-journal @beth-torres @highscribeofaetherium (I think I got everyone)

Alright! Sorry for the wait, but I’m here to get us moving again.

To quickly recap, I believe that this is where things currently stand:

One group, consisting of Marcel, Leon and Julian, Ben and…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Yep, I’m still here lol! Good to hear from you.

only two lone figures in the street.

You don’t need “only” and “lone”. I would probably keep “lone”. That one sounds better to me.

Yet every step was marked with purpose, with determination, and—all the more terrifying—desperation.

I’m gonna be a real stickler here, but I don…[Read more]

and 238…

and 239

Go to page 240 of the Character Party RP…and scroll to the bottom….ahhhhhh I can’t believe I did that *cries*

@trailblazer

Oh that sounds so hard :/

Thank you so much!!! <3

How have you been???

@rae

For all the new ppl looking into Character Party, you should find the part where the castle was burning down, the queen was almost killed, the villains were running rampant, the charries were squabbling and Prince Fennin was trying to hold everything together…cuz I think that was our most chaotic masterpiece. Or you could try and find the e…

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